We Make Plans, They Never Work Out Right
by takeanotherturn
Summary: Getting knocked up at sixteen by the biggest gleek in the school was not a part of Quinn Fabray's plans. Genderswap AU. Boy!Rachel.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** We Make Plans (They Never Work Out Right)  
**Author:** takeanotherturn  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Spoilers:** Season 1  
**Warnings:** genderswap (Male!Rachel), het sex  
**Summary:** Getting knocked up at sixteen by the biggest gleek in the school was not a part of Quinn Fabray's plans.

* * *

**We Make Plans (They Never Work Out Right)**

It was without a doubt the worst party had Quinn had ever been too. Finn had bailed early on claiming that he need to go pick his mom up from the supermarket and Santana and Brittany had disappeared. This left Quinn at the mercy of Puck who'd spent the night flirting shamelessly with her, his best friend's girlfriend, and plying her with a steady stream of wine coolers in a blatant attempt to get into her pants. Luckily, she'd caught a break when he'd been called away to deal with a mysterious 'situation' upstairs. If she had to guess, Quinn would say the situation was probably a threesome with her missing friends.

The heat being generated by all the bodies in Puck's over crowded living room was unbearable and the loud music pumping out the stereo speakers was not doing Quinn's rapidly developing headache any favors. Setting down her half empty wine cooler, she pushed her way through the pulsating bodies until she reach the glass doors to the patio.

Once outside, she closed her eyes and leaned back against the house, greedily drinking in the cool, crisp night air, feeling better with every breath she took. A groan from her left made her eyes snap open in surprise.

What she saw shocked her. The last person Quinn would expect to find at one of Noah Puckerman's parties was Ryan Berry, the school laughing stock and whipping boy. His presence alone was almost as shocking as the fact that he was stripped down to his blue paisley boxer shorts and tied to a keg with what looked like Puck's sisters jump rope.

As she got closer, Quinn could see that he was soaking wet and there was a funnel laying abandoned on the ground next to him and she knew what happened. The jocks, probably Karofsky and the rest of the assholes on the hockey team, had tied Berry down and force fed him beer, spraying it all over him in the process.

"Heeeeey, Quinn!" Ryan slurred, looking up at her with a dopey grin. "Where'd my friends go?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Your friends?"

Ryan nodded so hard she thought his head would come off. "Yeah, we were playing a game." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why are there two of you?"

He was completely wasted and Quinn couldn't help feeling sorry for him, Ryan Berry was annoying and obnoxious and far too aware of his own amazing talent but even he didn't deserve this. She couldn't let him freeze to death in Puckerman's back yard, it wouldn't be the Christian thing to do.

Sighing, she crouched down and undid the ropes holding him captive. "Can you stand?" she asked, once she'd freed him. She didn't bother to go looking for his clothes, she knew they'd never be seen again.

Ryan scoffed, like she'd just asked him the stupidest question ever. "Quinn, of course I can stand, I've been walking since I was seven months old," he said pompously. "I was a very early bloomer."

Quinn stood back, looking at him expectantly. "Well?" she prompted when he didn't even attempt to move. "I thought you could stand."

"I can...I just seem to have temporarily forgotten how."

_Definitely the worst party ever,_ Quinn thought as she leaned down and hooked her arms under Ryan's shoulders, hauling him up. She sent up a quick thanks to God that Berry was a relatively small guy, not as bulky as Puck and definitely not as tall as Finn, as she supported almost his entire weight and tried not to gag at the strong stink of stale beer that was wafting off his body. He smelled like a brewery. "Where's your car?"

"I can't drive, Quinn, I am far too intoxicated to safely operate a motor vehicle." Apparently even while drunk, Ryan Berry was still a walking thesaurus.

"I'll drive you."

"Why?"

_Because I have an inexplicable soft spot for you._ "Because I can't leave you here, I don't need your death on my conscience."

"Oh...It's parked out front."

Ryan leaned heavily on her as Quinn led him around the side of the Puckerman house and over to his sensible, reasonably priced hybrid sedan. Then Quinn realized that they had another problem, this is what she got for trying to be nice. "I don't suppose you carry your keys in your boxers?"

Ryan shook his head. Quinn tried to ignore the warm jolt that went through her when the action inadvertently caused him to nuzzle against her neck. "They're above the front wheel."

Leaning her drunken companion against the vehicle, Quinn crouched down and blindly groped for the keys until her hand closed around the large gold star key chain – a metaphor, Ryan had once explained to the glee club, for him being a star-.

She unlocked the car and carefully helped Ryan into the passenger seat, taking extra care to make sure he didn't bump his head, -the last thing she needed was him getting a concussion under her watch- before getting in herself.

She kept her door open to keep the interior light on so she could familiarize herself with the interior of the car before she started driving. Driving a stick shift while buzzed was going to be hard enough without knowing exactly where everything was.

"Wait!" Ryan suddenly shouted. "I should tell my friends that I'm leaving, it's the polite thing to do."

"They're not your friends, Berry."

"But they said-"

"They only did what they did to make fun of you," Quinn snapped, sometimes Ryan was too trusting for his own good. "I wouldn't be surprised if there's pictures of you tied to that keg all over school by Monday."

"But...Why would they do that?" He asked, looking at her with sad brown eyes. Quinn felt a deep pang of sympathy go through her. Which was only understandable, she rationalized, he looked like a kicked puppy. Anyone with a soul would feel sorry for him.

"Because they're assholes. Look, don't let it get to you, okay? You're better than them."

Ryan's smile was blinding. "Yes, I am. I expect that while I am treading the boards on Broadway, they will still be here...most likely repeating twelfth grade."

Quinn giggled at him. There was the Ryan Berry she knew and wanted to punch in the face, she much preferred him to the sad, vulnerable one that made her want to wrap him up in her arms and never let him go. "I expect that you're right."

###

Ryan had fallen asleep on the short drive to his home but luckily Quinn didn't need directions to the Berry's house, she driven past it enough times with her friends. Throwing rotten fruit at the local queer's home was almost a weekly event. She just hoped that the quick nap would sober him up.

Not wanting to touch the beer soaked boy, Quinn cranked up the volume and turned on the car radio. Some generic pop song came blasting out, jolting Ryan awake.

"Eden's not the better Elphaba!" he exclaimed, looking around wildly until his dark eyes settled on Quinn.

"Are your parents home?" she asked, once he'd calmed down. She hoped that they were, then she could just dump him on the door step, ring the bell and leave him for them to deal with.

"No, they're at a convention in Cleveland."

"Of course they are," Quinn sighed. This really, really wasn't her night.

###

Getting Ryan into his house and up the stairs into his bedroom had been relatively easy, it was deciding what to do next that was the hard part.

He was sprawled out on his bed, still sticky with the beer that had been sprayed all over him, his normally impeccably styled dark hair plastered down against his head. Quinn couldn't just let him fall asleep like that, call it her good deed for the year.

She looked around the house until she found a bathroom and collected a wash cloth and a bowl of water, bringing the items back to Ryan's room. She paused in the doorway to look at him, really look at him, for the first time that night.

Underneath all the argyle and atrocious sweater vests, Ryan Berry was unexpectedly ripped. Logically, Quinn knew that he was in good shape, he lived a very active lifestyle and was taking a ridiculous number of dance classes a week but God, he was easily the hottest boy at McKinley. Why hadn't anyone else noticed? Finn's body was soft, bordering on pudgy, Puck was bulky and sometimes reminded Quinn of a gorilla and for some unfathomable reason they were considered the most desirable boys in school.

But then there was Ryan with his lean body and toned muscles that were clearly the result of constant fluid movement rather than countless hours pumping iron like Puck's, his broad shoulders and chest that tapered down into narrow hips, his V-cut and washboard abs. If Quinn had to compare his body she'd say he looked like Zac Efron at his absolutely prime...only better. Then there was his face; soulful brown eyes, long eyelashes, a nose that was big but fit his face perfectly, large pouty lips and a strong jaw. Clearly, she'd been delusional if she'd ever thought that this boy was undesirable.

Feeling the first stirrings of arousal, Quinn shook her head and entered the room. She sat on the edge of the bed and dipped the cloth in the bowl to wet it before bringing it to Ryan's face.

His eyes opened lazily. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you stink and you're all sticky."

"No, I mean, why are you being nice to me?" he asked, his eyes wide and vulnerable.

Quinn moved the damp cloth down his chest and abs, feeling the muscles dance under her fingertips. "I'm a nice person."

"Not to me," he said bluntly, with his usual lack of tact. Another annoyingly admirable thing about Ryan Berry was that he was honest to a fault and didn't believe in lying just to spare someone else's feelings.

"I know." Quinn dropped her head, feeling an unfamiliar wetness between her legs as she wiped down his abdomen, nearing the waistband of his boxer shorts. "I'm sorry."

"I see you, you know."

Quinn looked up guilty. "So you're not blind? I was beginning to wonder with the clothes you wear," she quipped, trying to cover up her embarrassment.

"No, I..." He grimaced in frustration, unable to find the right words to express himself. "I see you, the real you. You're not like them, you try to be, you want them to think that you are, but you're not. You're better."

"Trust me, I'm not."

Ryan reached up and cradled her chin with gentle fingers. "You are," he said, looking at her adoringly. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here right now."

Quinn looked away, unable to hold his intense gaze any longer. Her eyes settled on the tenting of Ryan's boxers and she felt herself flush. It made sense, she supposed, he was a teenage boy and even on the days when she felt unspeakably fat Quinn still knew that she was considered to be reasonably attractive plus she was touching him. Of course Ryan had an erection.

Licking her lips, Quinn let her hand unconsciously drift towards the large bulge. Just because she'd vowed to remain celibate didn't mean she wasn't curious and there's no way she could do this with Finn without him expecting more. She paused, her fingertips barely skimming the fabric of his boxers, and looked up Ryan who was staring back at her patient, hooded eyes; seemingly content to lay back and let her do as she wished.

"Can I?" she whispered tentatively. He probably wouldn't even remember this in the morning and even if he did and told, nobody would believe him, tonight she was free to explore.

He nodded, lifting his hips so she could drag his underwear down his muscular legs. His hard cock sprang free, jutting up proudly in the air, pointing towards Quinn as if it was demanding her attention. It was easily the biggest penis Quinn had ever seen...Okay, so it was the only penis that Quinn had ever seen but still, to her it seemed huge.

She moved in for a closer look, taking in the red mushroom shaped head -this meant that he was circumcised, she remembered that from health class- and the pulsing veins that ran along the shaft. It was pure curiosity, of course, that made her reach out and trace her fingers down it. She yelped and jerked her hand back when it twitched of it's own accord, making Ryan laugh.

"It's not funny," she grumbled, pouting petulantly at him.

"You're right, I'm sorry. It has a mind of it's own sometimes," he said with a soft grin. If it was anyone else, Quinn would've felt patronized but for some reason, coming from Ryan, the teasing felt nothing but deeply affectionate.

Turning her attention back to his cock, Quinn wrapped her fingers around the hard shaft. Ryan let out a strangled moan as she gave it an experimental pump. "Is this okay?"

"Uh-huh," he whimpered as pre-come started to leak from the head.

Quinn looked down at it, fascinated. She wanted to taste it, she wanted to take his length in her mouth, feel his hardness against her tongue, drink down everything he had to offer her. But she restrained herself, a voice that sounded an awful lot like her mother's whispering in the back of her mind that he pees out of the that same hole and it wouldn't be at all sanitary.

The throbbing ache between her legs had become unbearable. Quinn shifted, trying to find a position that would alleviate it but all she succeeded in doing was spreading her wetness all over the insides of her thighs. She'd never been this turned on before and she knew that her panties were ruined.

Stroking Ryan's shaft in a lazy rhythm, Quinn cupped his balls in her other hand, rolling them between her fingers and palm. It felt odd, but like everything else about this little encounter, arousing.

She wanted him inside her, she realized with a start. She actually wanted to have sex with him. For the longest time, Quinn had believed herself to be asexual, she'd just never felt the urge to go further with Finn. Finn never made her want more than chaste kissing on her couch, he'd never made her nipples strain against the fabric of her top, he'd never made her wet. Now she realized it wasn't a matter of her not wanting to have sex at all, it was just that she didn't want to have sex with him.

Maintaining a vow of celibacy had been easy when she had no interest in sex, when remaining pure was of paramount importance. Now that she had Ryan Berry's dick in her hand and the evidence of her arousal was leaking down her thighs, it felt like none of that mattered. All that mattered was she wanted him and he wanted her and the fact that nobody would ever know.

Quinn released him and stripped her shirt off, taking her bra with it. "Do you want me?" she moaned, straddling Ryan's stomach, the head of his cock bumped against the small of her back.

"Yes," Ryan gasped, looking up at her with such reverence and adoration that she knew this was right. He was the one she wanted to give this precious gift to.

She took his hands in hers -his soft, delicate, piano playing hands- and ran them up her body to cup her breasts. "Then take me," she commanded in a raspy voice.

Ryan's eyes darkened and he surged up to kiss her, his hands firmly massaging her breasts as their lips and tongues moved against each other desperately. Quinn's hips jolted against him as he ran his thumbs over her pebbled nipples.

"Do you have a condom?" she breathed against his lips. She was ready. Oh God, she was so ready.

He pulled back and looked her blankly. This was Ryan Berry, he probably thought he was going to be a virgin until he was forty, of course he wouldn't have a pack of condoms just lying around in case the head cheerleader and president of the celibacy club decided that she wanted to give it up to him one night. He whimpered pathetically, his dick rubbing against her back, smearing pre-come on her skin.

"It's okay," she soothed, running her fingers through his wavy hair. "It's okay, baby. I'll just be on top and you can pull out."

If Ryan had been sober, he would've put a stop to the proceedings then and there to deliver a lecture on how that was most certainly not a reliable method of birth control and insist they find a suitable prophylactic. But he wasn't sober, he wasn't even close.

He fell back against the bed, unable to support himself any longer when Quinn stood to remove her skirt and panties. "You're beautiful," he whispered tenderly as she straddled him again, making her blush bashfully.

She positioned him at her entrance and dropped herself down, impaling herself on his cock. She let out a squeak, feeling like she was being split in two. Settled against Ryan's pelvis, his full length sheathed inside her,she breathed in through her teeth, struggling not to cry at the burning pain. Why did people do this?

"Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" The concern in his wide brown eyes made Quinn melt.

"You're just really big," she hissed, smoothing her hands over his rippling abs as she waited for her body to adjust to the unfamiliar intrusion.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, looking genuinely contrite. Quinn shook her head, chuckling to herself. Only Ryan Berry would apologize for having a large penis.

She leaned down to kiss him, moaning as the movement caused his cock to shift inside her. Finally, it was starting to feel good instead of hurting. Quinn rocked her hips experimentally, sighing against Ryan's pouty lips at the sensations the friction caused. Now she understood why people had sex.

Bracing her hands on Ryan's chest, Quinn began to rock her hips in a smooth rhythm. "Ryan," she moaned wantonly, wanting more but not knowing how to get it.

With a guttural groan, Ryan thrust up into her, grasping her hips to aid her in sliding up and down his dick.

They moved together frenetically, Ryan's fingers digging into her hips, Quinn's scratching down his abdomen, trying to find purchase as she rode him.

She could feel something building inside her, she felt like a spring being wound too tight, it scared her but she didn't want to stop, it felt too good. Ryan's hand left her hip to press his thumb against her straining bundle of nerves and Quinn shattered, white lights going off behind her eyes as her muscles clenched down on his dick.

Quinn panted, still delighting in the aftershocks as she came down from her high. Ryan was grunting, thrusting frantically up into her. He threw his head back, his brow furrowing as his entire body tensed. Quinn felt the first spurt of his semen inside her and immediately dismounted him, using her hand to finish him off. She watched in fascination as several ropes of thick come sprayed from his penis, coating his tensed stomach in white fluid. There was just so much of it, for a brief moment she thought that he was never going to stop coming.

Semen dribbled down over her hand as she continued to jerk Ryan off. Finally, he went limp, relaxing back into the bed with a content smile.

Gathering Quinn up in his arms, one hand palming her ass possessively, Ryan looked at her with adoring, heavy lidded eyes. Still quivering from her orgasm, Quinn broke eye contact and nuzzled into his chest. "I'm glad I did this with you."

"Me too," he said, his voice huskier than she'd ever heard it. He affectionately kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Quinn, I've always loved you."

Quinn froze, her entire body stiffening. Oh god, what had she done. She'd broken her vow of celibacy. She'd cheated on her boyfriend. She'd had sex with the biggest loser in the school. She'd taken advantage of a boy that loved her. Squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself not to cry, she tilted her head back to look at him. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and even. "Ryan?" He was asleep.

_I need to get out of here._ Quinn thought, slipping herself out of her lover's arms. She frantically gathered her clothes and redressed herself before grabbing the wet cloth and wiping the drying semen from Ryan's body, resisting the urge to taste it. She gently tucked his flaccid penis back into his boxers, ignoring the way it twitched in her hand.

She stepped back and looked down at him to inspect her work. It looked like nothing had happened, there was no evidence of her being there and if he did happen to remember anything, it could easily be written off as nothing but a wet dream. Nobody would ever know.

Ryan was sleeping peacefully, his dark hair falling across his face, a hint of a smile on his soft lips. He was beautiful. It seemed like an odd way to describe a boy but it was the only word Quinn could think of that would do him justice. Ryan Berry was beautiful and all Quinn Fabray wanted was to crawl back into that bed and fall asleep in his arms.

Instead, she turned her back on him and walked out the door, knowing that once she left the house she would never acknowledge what had happened between them, not even to herself. When she walked out that door, she was born again; a virgin, a girl who has never know the carnal pleasure of a man's touch, a girl who would never even dream of cheating on her handsome, popular, devoted boyfriend. A girl who'd never thought of Ryan Berry as anything other than an ugly, annoying loser.

That was the way it had to be.


	2. Chapter 2

She ignored the delicious ache between her thighs the next day and barely acknowledged Ryan's presence at school. When she started throwing up at random times, she put it down to food poisoning. When she missed her period, she assured herself she was just stressed. But when Quinn found herself craving olives –she _hated_ olives- in the middle of the night she couldn't deny it any longer.

The next day, instead of going to school, she drove to a pharmacy in the next county and bought herself a pregnancy test. She cried alone in the bathroom of a 7-11 when it turned out positive.

Then she did the only thing she could do, she told her boyfriend that she was pregnant and he was the father.

You see, Ryan Berry had big dreams, dreams that he told anyone who would listen. He was going to go to Julliard, he was going to be a star on Broadway, he was going to single-handedly revive the movie musical genre. Nowhere in his plans was there room for a baby and Quinn couldn't force that on him; this was her cross to bear.

Finn Hudson, on the other hand, had no dreams at all. He was probably going to end up working some mid-level job, making enough to ensure that his family led what would be described as a comfortable life and nothing more. Finn Hudson would never be rich or famous but he'd always be stable and that's what she needed, that's what her baby needed and she didn't feel bad about using him to get it.

Quinn would be lying if she said her motives for choosing Finn to be the father were entirely noble. Finn was the captain of the football team, he was popular, together they were the king and queen of McKinley; there was still the slightest chance that her reputation could survive falling pregnant to him. Meanwhile, if it was found out that she not only cheated on him with Ryan Berry of all people but was having Ryan's baby, her fall from grace would be so spectacular that it would go down in the McKinley record books. She'd be a cautionary tale for generations of Queen Bees to come.

Ryan hadn't been around when the rest of the glee club found out about the baby and for that Quinn had been grateful. Mr Schuester had given a solo to Finn that Ryan had already claimed as his own and Ryan had flounced out, quitting the club to play Billy Flynn in the production of Chicago that Mr Ryerson was putting on. At least Mr Ryerson appreciated his talent, he'd sneered as he walked out the door. But Quinn knew he was more upset about Finn taking yet another thing that he wanted than his talent being ignored.

Eventually, Ryan returned to Glee, his metaphorical tail between his legs, claiming he quit the play due to creative differences -once they discovered that Mr Ryerson had cast himself as Roxy Hart, nobody blamed him-. He'd come back just in time to hear Mercedes loudly announce Quinn's pregnancy.

Quinn had held her breath as Ryan turned to her with inquisitive eyes, they settled on her still flat belly and he tilted his head, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth like he did when trying to figure out a particularly hard equation -not that Quinn would know because she definitely didn't stare at him during Math class-. Only when he turned away and started scolding the rest of the club for neglecting to do their warm ups in his absence did she relax. He didn't remember...that hurt more than it should've.

###

Quinn should've known her good luck wouldn't last. Less than a week later, Ryan Berry was grabbing her by the arm and dragging her into an empty classroom.

"Excuse me," Quinn snarled at him. Outraged, she wrenched herself out of his grip loose grip. "What do you think you're doing? You can't grab me like that!"

"It's mine, isn't it," he said accusingly, looking angrier than Quinn had ever seen him.

Quinn sat heavily back on a desk, her knees to suddenly too weak to support her. "What are you talking about, Berry?"

"The baby that's currently gestating in your womb. It's mine."

"No, the baby is Finn's," Quinn said slowly, looking away from him, desperate to deny the truth for as long as she could. "You know, my boyfriend-"

"You mean the boyfriend you've never had sex with?" Ryan questioned impatiently. Quinn stared at him in wonder, he'd always claimed to be a little bit psychic maybe it was true. Maybe the baby she was carrying was half mutant. "Guys like to talk in the locker room, Quinn, it's amazing what you can overhear. I can't believe you managed to convince Finn that he managed to impregnate you via hot tub water. Everyone knows that the heat kills sperm cells, not makes them swim faster."

Quinn closed her eyes, blocking out Ryan's angry accusatory gaze. She didn't want him looking at her like that, it made her feel like the worst person in the world. "Okay, fine, you got me. It's not Finn's but it's not yours either," she said, hoping he'd let the matter drop. She was doing this for him, couldn't he see that? "We've never had sex."

"Yes, we have. The night of Puck's party."

"You remember that?" Quinn gasped. He'd never given any indication that he'd remembered anything from that night.

Ryan softened, stepping in closer to her. "Of course I remember," he said, in the same husky tone she heard in her dreams every time she closed her eyes since that night. "How could I forget it?"

Quinn looked up at him - Ryan may have been shorter than average, his height topping out at 5'9 but he still had a few inches on her- and the intensity blazing in his eyes made her want to forget all the lies and throw herself into his arms. But no, she couldn't do that to him. It had been her mistake, she'd been the one who took advantage of his drunkenness, she'd been the one who decided not to use a condom and she'd be the one to bear the consequences. Not him. "It doesn't matter. Finn thinks that this is his baby and that's the way it's going to stay."

"Quinn-"

"No! I don't care if this baby comes out singing and dancing, I will go to my grave swearing that it's Finn's."

Ryan grimaced, the hardness returning to his eyes. "And what if I tell him?"

Quinn seized him fiercely by his sweater vest, bringing his face down to hers. "Then I will never let you see it. If you don't keep your mouth shut, I will make sure that you never have any contact with your child, do you understand?" she snarled, hazel eyes blazing with anger that he would dare to threaten her.

Ryan's lips turned down into a sad frown and all Quinn wanted to do was kiss it away. "Fine," he relented reluctantly, easing her hands from his vest and taking a step back from her. "But you have to quit the Cheerios."

"Why?" The thought of voluntarily quitting was inconceivable to her, that uniform was the only thing keeping her on top of the social scrap heap. "I won't even be showing for another few months," she protested, defensively laying a hand across her still flat belly.

He looked at her in disbelief. "Quinn, the routines that Sue Sylvester forces you to do are extremely dangerous. If you fell, you could miscarry and lose the baby."

Quinn pushed herself off the desk, straightening her uniform she walked to the door. Mustering up her coldest look, she glanced back over her shoulder at her one time lover. "You say that like it'd be a bad thing."


	3. Chapter 3

_"You say that like it'd be a bad thing."_

Quinn had been racked with guilt the moment she'd said it. She hadn't meant it, of course she hadn't, she just wanted to make Ryan back off, but the words had still come out her mouth and when she next saw Ryan, in glee, he'd looked at her with such disgust that she'd almost burst into tears on the spot. Even now, days later, her callous words still haunted her.

She hadn't quit the Cheerios, she wasn't ready to open that can of worms just yet, but she had feigned a back injury, forcing Sylvester to put her on light duties. Quinn wasn't doing anything more strenuous than a cartwheel and she could do those in her sleep.

Ryan, even though she knew he didn't like it, had at least respected her decision and kept his distance. After the incident in the classroom, he never directly approached her again, only speaking to her when he was absolutely forced to during glee. But that didn't mean he was ignoring her by any means, Quinn could feel her eyes on her during glee, in the hallways, in the classes they shared. It should've creeped her out but it didn't; it made her feel safe to know that he still cared, that he'd still be there for her if -or more likely when- her carefully constructed house of cards came crashing down. It made everything just a little bit easier to deal with.

It quickly became obvious that Quinn had been so very wrong if she'd ever thought she could keep the baby with Finn. The boy really was dumb as a box of rocks and even though he claimed he wanted to step up and be a responsible father, it was clear he'd much rather be playing Halo or hanging out with Puck than dealing with the realities of her pregnancy. So when Quinn was presented with a solution to her problems in the form of Terri Schuester, she took it.

Now some may say that agreeing to give your baby to a crazy woman that broke into your car wasn't the smartest decision to make. They'd probably be right. But for Quinn it was the easiest option. This way she wouldn't have to deal with adoption agencies and the paperwork and questions that came along with them. And while Terri Schuester may or may not have been a raving lunatic, Quinn knew that her baby would be taken care of with Mr. Schuester as it's father -Quinn secretly had her doubts about Mr. Schue's abilities as a choir director but she didn't doubt he'd be an amazing dad-. With him, her baby would be raised with music as a huge part of it's life, just like Ryan would want.

###

So far, the worst part of the pregnancy wasn't the odd cravings or the slight swelling of her belly but the hormones and mood swings Quinn was forced to endure. The other day, she'd had sobbed her heart out over a Snickers commercial but that was nothing compared to what happened whenever she saw Ryan.

It must be some weird primal thing, Quinn decided, that made her burn with arousal when she saw her baby's daddy. All it took was a glimpse of him and she was dripping, it beyond embarrassing. Glee was the worst of all, whenever he sang she wanted to throw herself down at his feet and beg him to take her then and there. She couldn't even use Finn to relieve her tension, him touching her was the equivalent of a cold shower and only left her frustrated, and using her own hand just wasn't cutting it. She needed Ryan.

They were in Math class, fortunate enough to have Holly Holiday as their teacher. Quinn saw her opportunity and seized it when the substitute instructed them to pair up and complete their worksheets for the last ten minutes of class. She quickly gathered her things and moved to sit next to Ryan at the back of the room.

Ryan looked at her, confused. "Quinn, what-"

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean what I said about...you know."

He looked down at his worksheet, already completed, and nodded. "I know." He wasn't lying, he knew that Quinn didn't really mean what she'd said about losing the baby. After all, if she wanted to get rid of it that badly, she could have gotten an abortion. But knowing that she didn't mean it, didn't make it hurt any less.

"I shouldn't have said it," she whispered in a rare show of vulnerability. "If anything happens, I'll never forgive myself."

Ryan tilted his head to look at her, his brown eyes warm and adoring like they were that night, and smiled softly. Being this close to him, having him look at her like that, she just couldn't resist resting her hand on his thigh under the desk.

"Um, Quinn?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Wha-" His voice cracked when her hand smoothed across his crotch and cupped him through his jeans; he was so embarrassed, he usual had perfect control of vocal chords, his voice hadn't even once cracked when he'd gone through puberty. "What are you doing?"

"You don't like it?" she asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye as she massaged his rapidly hardening cock.

Quinn didn't understand what was happening to her. Two months ago she never even thought about sex, unless it was in the context of not having it and now she was giving Ryan Berry a handjob under the desk in a classroom full of her peers. She could only think of two possible explanations for her unforgivably wanton behavior. One, her body was rebelling against her after years of extreme sexual repression. Or two, she wasn't carrying a human child in her belly but a tiny lust-crazed sex demon that was slowly taking over her body. She honestly didn't know which seemed more likely at this point.

Ryan squeezed his eyes shut, his breath coming out in harsh pants. "Uh..."

"It feels like you like it." Taking a quick look around the room and finding that everyone else was too caught up in themselves to take any notice, she pulled down the fly of his jeans and slipped her hand inside, fisting his cock through his boxer briefs. "I've missed this," she leaned in and whispered against his ear as she pumped his hard shaft. "I think about you and that night when I touch myself. It's the only thing that'll get me off."

Ryan groaned softly, thrusting up into her hand. There was a soft but audible thump when the head of his cock hit the underside of the table.

"Shhh," Quinn hushed him, slowing her strokes. "Easy, baby."

She saw his teeth clamp down on his bottom lip as he struggled to contain himself and was dimly aware of the bell ringing, signalling the end of class. As the students around them gathered their things and filtered out of class, Quinn reluctantly ceased the movement of her hand, with some difficulty, stuffed Ryan's erection back into his pants.

Her actions caused his eyes to snap open and he looked at her, his expression incredulous and pleading. "Meet me in the janitor's closet down the hall, we need to talk," she said softly, grabbing her bag and vacating the room along with the rest of the class.

###

Ten minutes later, in the janitor's closet down the hall, Quinn Fabray was on her knees giving her very first blowjob. It was sloppy, her inexperience meant that she did nothing more than take the head of Ryan's cock in her mouth and suck on it like a blow pop, but he seemed to enjoy it all the same.

He didn't make her gag by thrusting into her mouth or try to force her head down to take more, like Quinn had overheard the other girls complaining that their boyfriends did in the Cheerios locker rooms. He kept his hands in her hair, lightly scratching her scalp but never pressuring her to take more into her mouth, it felt...nice.

He groaned loudly, and tried to move her head away. Quinn shook off his hands, keeping him in her mouth and sucking with renewed vigor. She knew what was about to happen and she knew that she wanted it. She had no clue what it would taste like but she craved it all the same.

With a soft grunt, Ryan spilled himself into her mouth. Quinn swallowed like mad, desperately trying to drink it down but still didn't manage to get it all, a mix of saliva and come leaked out the corners of her lips. She kept sucking until she felt him softening and heard Ryan's head fall back against the door he'd been leaning against.

Pulling back and tucking him away, Quinn wiped her mouth and chin with the back of her hand.

"Here," Ryan offered her a long piece of toilet paper he'd torn off one of the spare rolls on the self next to him.

"Thanks," Quinn uttered softly, wiping her hands off on the coarse tissue. "Was I...was it okay?"

"Yes," Ryan was quick to assure her as he helped her stand. "I mean, I don't have anything to compare it to but I'm of the opinion that your skills in performing oral sex are beyond satisfactory."

Quinn laughed quietly, leaning her forehead against Ryan's chest, sighing when his arms automatically encircled her waist. He was actually dressed like a normal teenage boy for once, she noticed. Sure, his baby blue polo shirt and dark jeans were a little preppy but he looked good.

If he dressed like that more often, people might actually notice how hot he was...girls might notice how hot he was. The thought filled Quinn with fear. What if some girl decided she was actually willing to date Ryan Berry in public? She'd take him away from her and Quinn couldn't have that, it just wouldn't do at all.

"So you said we needed to talk?"

"Yes," Quinn said, knowing that she hadn't actually meant for them to have a conversation when she'd extended the invitation. She just wanted to get Ryan alone. "I need you."

"Excuse me?"

"Being pregnant, I have certain...urges. Very strong, uncontrollable urges."

"Urges," Ryan repeated, his brow creased.

"Sexual urges," Quinn blurted, feeling her cheeks go red. Which was just absurd since, not less than three minutes ago, did she have his dick in her mouth but now she couldn't have a simple conversation with him about sex without blushing.

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "I see. And why can't you get Finn to help you with these _urges_ since you're so hellbent on him taking responsibility for everything else to do with my child?" he asked pointedly.

Quinn grimaced, both at the thought of doing anything remotely sexual with Finn and at the reminder of the mess she'd gotten herself into. "I don't want Finn, I want you," she said bluntly, looking up at him, dropping all her walls and letting him see the naked yearning in her eyes. "I need you."

Ryan swallowed hard. When she looked at him like that it all but rendered him helpless. With the greatest difficulty, he closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, breaking their connection. "You've made your choice, Quinn-"

"I know but that was the way that it had to be. It's the way it still has to be." Quinn said regretfully, smoothing her hands up her chest to her neck, linking her fingers at the nape of his neck she turned his face back to her. "But we can have this, can't we?" she whispered desperately, nuzzling her face against his and stroking his jaw with her thumbs.

"We can have this just for us," she continued, letting her lips brush against his as she spoke. "Let Finn deal with the stress and the disgusting cravings and mood swings and doctor's bills and you can have this. You can have me. You can have me any time...in any way."

"But no-one can know." Ryan sounded conflicted and Quinn almost growled in frustration. He was a teenage boy and she was offering him no strings attached sex with the most sought after girl in school. He should've had her up against the wall with her panties around her ankles by now.

"It's better this way, other people...they'll just ruin it, Ryan, you know that. You know what they're like."

Ryan opened his eyes and Quinn could see his resolve crumbling. "I know." He pulled her into a fiery kiss and Quinn knew that she had won.

###

For a while, everything was good -well, as good as it can possibly be when you're hiding a pregnancy in high school and lying to your boyfriend about him being the father while fucking the baby's real daddy behind his back on a daily basis- Quinn had successfully managed to keep both of her skeletons in the closet until one day, thanks to that little worm Jacob Ben Israel and his trashy blog, the news of her pregnancy was spread all over the school. As Quinn sobbed into Finn's broad chest in the middle of the high school hallway with Ryan looking on, she knew that it was just the beginning of the end for her.

The glee club came together to sing to her, as if that was going to make it all better, and by the end of the song Quinn found herself sandwiched between Finn and Ryan, both of them tightly clutching one of her hands as they sang about being there for her. Struggling not to completely breakdown, Quinn forced herself to pretend that it didn't mean a thing that Ryan's hand was the only one that she squeezed back.


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn knew it was coming, the shift in the atmosphere at William McKinley High was tangible as the commoners slowly came to the realization that their Queen's crown was tarnished beyond repair and without it she was no better than the rest of them. The only surprise was that it was Finn that got slushied first.

Finn had sputtered in anger and slammed Karofsky against a wall and then later whined about the corn syrup getting in his eye while Quinn tried to tend to him. Once again she wondered how she ever thought she could raise a child with him when he was little more than an overgrown baby himself.

She was desperate. That was the only reason she went along with Finn's stupid idea to go and see Ms. Pillsbury for advice about being cool. This was a woman who dressed like a grandmother and spent her spare time disinfecting the school's handrails for fun, what did she know about being cool?

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" Ryan had questioned when she'd met him in the prop room of the auditorium for their standing lunch time appointment.

"Because Ms. Pillsbury said they were cool."

Ryan raised his eyebrows, looking away when he couldn't stop himself from snickering.

"I know! Okay?" Quinn exclaimed, ripping the black frames from her face and sitting on the edge of an old desk. "I know, it's stupid."

"So why are you doing it?" He asked gently, sitting down next to her.

"Because I'm losing it...my power, my status, I can just feel it all slipping away," she admitted, resting her head against his shoulder and forcing herself not to sigh happily when his arm went around her back.

"And you felt that looking like you're blind will stop that from happening?" He wasn't being sarcastic, he was genuinely curious.

"No. But at least the glasses might stop the corn syrup from getting into my eyes when I get slushied." She felt Ryan's muscles tense under her cheek.

"They'd better not do that to you, if they do I'll-"

"You'll do nothing," Quinn snapped, realizing the position that they were in, she lifted her head from his shoulder. He was acting like he was her boyfriend, _she_ was acting like he was her boyfriend, when he wasn't.

"But-"

"Stop! Finn is my boyfriend, if anyone's going to do anything it'll be him, understand?" Ryan flinched at Quinn's harsh tone and it made her feel awful. She reached up and ran her hand through his thick, luxurious locks. God, she loved his hair.

"It's the hockey team, Ryan, they'll slaughter you," she added softly, lovingly massaging his scalp. "Just let Finn deal with it."

"Because he's doing such a great job so far," Ryan mumbled, letting his dissatisfaction with the situation get the better of him.

Not knowing what else to say or do, Quinn pushed him back against the desk and mounted him. She ran her hands over his cashmere sweater covered chest and grinded her hips down, smiling in satisfaction when she felt him stirring against her. This she knew how to do.

###

"You know, I really think this working. I think we look super cool," Finn said enthusiastically as they walked through the halls towards their last class of the day.

_Stupid. You are so stupid._ "I'm proud of you, Finn. I'm proud of us," she said instead, putting on a show of false bravado.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be popular, it means you want people to like you. I think that's healthy."

_Why won't you stop talking?_ "I totally agree."

They rounded the corner and almost ran into a wall of football players, each of them carrying a slushie.

The smile dropped from Quinn's face when her boyfriend cheerfully greeted them. Could he seriously not see what was going to happen?

"You thirsty?" Azimio, who appeared to be the ringleader, sneered as more boys carrying slushies appeared behind the former it couple. They were surrounded; nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

"Sure, thanks," Finn smiled cluelessly.

_He cannot possibly be that dumb,_ Quinn thought a split second before she was hit with a double wave of grape flavored ice. She pulled her sunglasses from her face and stood frozen in shock while Finn raged at his teammates. Then when the football team finally walked away, Finn turned to her.

"Those guys are such jerks!"

He didn't even ask if she was okay. Quinn let out a sob and turned to flee. Her feet slipped on the slushie coated floor and for one terrifying second she thought was going to fall before her years of Cheerios training kicked in and she somehow managed to catch her balance. Ignoring the stunned stares and hushed whispers coming from the bystanders that witnessed the event, Quinn sprinted off down the hall, not once looking back at her boyfriend.

###

She should have run into the nearest bathroom. She should have run to the girls locker room. She should've run to anywhere but the choir room. Quinn had no idea why her feet had blindly carried her there, there wasn't even anything she could use to clean herself up. Not that she'd even tried. She'd just collapsed down onto the first seat she could find and started crying. Covered in grape slushie, sobbing into her hands, she knew she must've looked pathetic. At least her sunglasses had done their job and kept most of the slushie out of her eyes.

"Quinn?" Ryan. Of course it would be him, Quinn vaguely remembered him saying something about going to the choir room to practice every day after school if she ever wanted to find him.

He kneeled down in front of her and tentatively laid his hands on her sticky thighs. "Quinn?" he tried again. "Are you alright?"

Quinn looked up from her hands. "I just got hit by like a thousand slushies, of course I'm not alright."

"Who did this to you?" he asked plaintively, digging around in his messenger bag for the hand towel he always carried with him.

"The football team."

Ryan looked up at her in surprise. "All of them?" he asked, beginning the task of cleaning her up.

"Most of them." She grasped Ryan wrist to keep him from pulling the towel back from her face and most likely running off and attempting to kill every jock in the school. He looked absolutely murderous. "Don't. You can't do anything."

Ryan's jaw clenched as he struggled to get a hold of himself. "What is wrong with those idiots? Don't they understand that you're pregnant?" he snarled. Then it dawned on him. "Is...Is that why?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, this was about Finn. They want him to quit the glee club."

"Oh...Maybe he should then, I'm sure we can find somebody else to fill his spot."

"And I'm sure you won't mind taking over his solos either." Quinn smirked weakly, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Well, they should've been mine in the first place. They would have been if Mr. Schuester wasn't so outrageously biased."

She couldn't argue with that. Anyone with ears could tell you that Ryan had a better voice -was a better performer overall, in fact- than Finn but their teacher continually chose Finn over him to lead the group. Quinn couldn't help but feel it was because Finn reminded Mr. Schue of himself when he was young.

Ryan sat back on his haunches, now soaked towel in his hands. He'd managed to get most of the slushie off her face and arms but she was still a mess. "You really need to get out of those wet clothes, do you have anything here you can change into?"

"I have workout clothes in the locker room."

"Good." He stood up, pulling her up with him. "You should go have a hot shower and get changed. Do you want me to come with you?"

_Yes._ "No, someone-"

"Might see. I get it." He didn't like it, but he got it.

Quinn nodded but didn't make a move for the door. "Ryan, I almost fell," she confessed in a small voice, wrapping her arms around her midsection. "I slipped in the slushie and I nearly fell...I could've lost the baby because of them." The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She'd been sitting there crying about the humiliation and the loss of her status when she could've lost so much more. If she hadn't caught herself she would've hit the ground _hard_, face first and her baby...She felt sick.

"Hey," Ryan whispered, pulling her shaking body into his arms and holding her tightly. "But you didn't. You didn't. It's okay, you're okay." He kissed the top of her head. "You're okay."

Trembling, Quinn clung to him, burying her face in his neck and soaking up the comfort that being in his arms provided. She didn't notice that Ryan was shaking too, only he was shaking with impotent rage. Those _assholes_ had endangered the life of his child and the worst part was he couldn't do a thing about it.

###

When Finn was the only football player not to show up to glee practice when the deadline came, Ryan was not so secretly overjoyed and immediately began plans to rearrange several songs in their setlist to better showcase his voice.

So when Finn returned, bearing a tray full of slushies -of all things- as peace offering Ryan was understandably upset. He grudgingly accepted one of the cups offered and returned to stand behind Quinn who was sitting next to the piano. Quinn who had been kicked off the Cheerios and stripped of her uniform. Quinn who looked unspeakably beautiful in her regular clothes, Ryan could barely take his eyes off her.

Together they stayed on the sidelines and watched as Finn proposed a toast to Mr. Schue, neither of them moving to join in.

"Are you okay, Quinn?" Schuester asked, finally noticing the now former cheerleader's melancholia.

What a stupid question to ask. "Do I look okay? I'm devastated, now that I'm off the Cheerios I'll start every day with a slushie facial."

"That's okay if that happens, Quinn," he said with a smile. It made Quinn want to slap him because it was most certainly not okay with her."Because there are eleven of your friends right here who are going to be more than happy to help clean you off."

Quinn couldn't believe what she was hearing, or that Finn was happily nodding along with Schue's words. Apparently, Ryan agreed with her.

"You have got to be kidding me," he scoffed loudly, the frustration and helplessness he'd been feeling towards the whole situation boiling up inside him. "It is not okay for her to get slushied."

Schue looked taken aback. "Well, Ryan, I'm not quite sure what you want me to do-"

"I want you to try to stop it from happening! I know that you like to delude yourself into thinking you're one of us but you're not. You are a teacher and you have a duty of care towards your students. Quinn is telling you that she is going to be slushied, it's your responsibility to protect her."

"Ryan," Quinn whispered warningly, but he was too far gone to heed it.

Schuester started to flush with embarrassment at being attacked in such a personal way in front of his kids. "It's just a little ice and corn syrup," he tried to lighten the situation with a joke. "It can't be that bad."

Ryan tightened his grip on his cup as he stepped forward. "You've never been hit by a slushie before, have you?"

"No, Ryan, I haven't," the teacher sighed, wondering if this latest outburst of Ryan's had a point. He swore if the kid wasn't so talented and they didn't need twelve kids to compete...

"Didn't think so," Ryan said then tossed the contents of his cup directly into Schuester's face. "Don't worry, Mr. Schue, you have ten of your friends right here who'll be more than happy to help clean you off," he sneered mockingly while everyone else was still stunned by his actions. Quinn knew it was wrong but she couldn't help but smile.

Slowly, Mr. Schuester wiped the slushie from his eyes and opened them to glare daggers at Ryan. He was furious. "Go to the principal's office. Now!" he shouted.

"Gladly," Ryan said sounding completely unfazed and already heading for the door. "I'm sure Principal Figgins will love to hear about your latest failing as a teacher."

It was quiet, nobody knowing what to do or say, until Mercedes finally broke the silence. "Okay, what the hell just happened?"

Quinn would like to know the same thing.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as she could safely do it without arousing suspicion, Quinn had excused herself from the group -having a baby that liked to press against your bladder was so convenient sometimes, nobody questioned it when she said she had to go to the bathroom- and headed straight for Figgins' office, only to find Ryan sitting on the bench in front of the vacant secretaries desk.

"You shouldn't have done that, you know," she said softly, hoping that she didn't sound ungrateful.

"He deserved it," Ryan said unapologetically as she sat next to him.

"Maybe he did. But still, you could be expelled." The thought of not being able to see Ryan every day scared Quinn more than she'd like to admit.

Ryan shook his head. "Schuester needs me for glee club and when I threatened to call in the ACLU over how he was going to let you get slushied, Figgins looked like he was going to wet himself. Also, I've got Sue Sylvester in my corner."

Quinn looked to the office where she could see Mr. Schuester, Principal Figgins and for some reason Sue Sylvester all arguing with each other, through the glass wall. "What's coach doing in there?"

"She came in demanding that a shrine be built in my honor," Ryan said, not looking at all opposed to the idea. "I guess she heard about what happened from Brittany and Santana. They were still fighting about it when they kicked me out here to wait for my dads."

"Ryan, why did you do it?"

"Because I want to protect you, Quinn. I want to protect you so badly but I'm not popular enough and I'm not _big_ enough," he said like it physically hurt him to admit. "So I don't have the power to do that. But Schuester does, not only that but it's his job. So to hear him just laugh it off when he can actually do something to stop it from happening...It was infuriating and granted I may have acted a little dramatically but I don't regret it. Not if it means you'll be kept safe."

###

The last thing Sue Sylvester expected when she exited Figgins' office was to see her former protégé/biggest disappointment, Quinn Fabray, looking at Ryan Berry like he'd hung the moon and the stars. She could certainly understand why though, Sue thought if she'd been there to witness the singing Hobbit slushie Will Schuester in person, she would've dropped to her knees and proposed marriage to him on the spot. She cursed Brittany and Santana for not getting video footage of the blessed moment and idly wondered how much it would cost to have spy cameras implanted into their retinas, she couldn't afford to miss an event like this again.

"Liberace, Preggo," she greeted them sharply, snapping them out of their haze of despicable teenage lust. "Figgins will see you now, Elton," she said as she passed by.

Ryan nodded, standing. He blinked in surprise when Quinn moved to follow him.

"I need to speak to Figgins about this," she explained, barely concealing a grin when Ryan jumped forward to open the door for her. He was such a gentleman; if he wasn't a Jew, the son of two gay men and the father of her unborn bastard child, Quinn knew her father would love Ryan.

"Quinn," Mr. Schuester said in surprise when she entered the office. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure that Ryan didn't get into trouble, it wouldn't be fair. He was only trying to stand up for me."

Schuester and Figgins exchanged disbelieving looks. The Quinn Fabray they knew would never try to help a fellow student if there was nothing in it for her, especially not Ryan Berry.

"He was right," Quinn continued. "It's not okay for me to be slushied, Mr. Schue. I could get sick or I could slip and fall...and I'm telling you right now, if anything happens to me or my baby because you failed to stop me being slushied even after I told you it'll happen, I will be suing this school for all it's worth," she finished, with all the confidence and attitude of the head cheerleader they all used to fear.

Ryan grinned proudly at her while Figgins eyes widened. "There's no need for that, Ms. Fabray. I assure you that we will be taking the necessary steps to make sure you are protected, Coach Tanaka will speak to the football and hockey teams to let them know that you are not to be touched."

"Thank you."

"However, no matter how noble Mr. Berry's intentions, his actions cannot go unpunished. Ryan Berry, you are hereby suspended for a week, effective immediately."

Quinn gasped, outraged. That was a week too long, as far as she was concerned, although judging by the way she heard Ryan whisper "Worth it" under his breath, apparently he didn't agree.

"I understand and accept your decision," Ryan said stiffly.

"You know, I'm really disappointed in you, Ryan," Mr. Schuester said with sad eyes that were no doubt intended to shame him.

He'd have to do better than that. Ryan smirked at their teacher and Quinn had to duck her head to hide her smile. "Believe me, Mr. Schuester, the feeling is mutual."

###

Quinn had to admit it, the Cheerios were absolutely amazing. Being on the team, she'd never had the opportunity to just sit back and observe their routines, when she did get a chance to watch she'd been consumed with her captainly duty of picking out every single flaw in their performance –a misstep here, a wobbling knee there-, she'd never been able to just appreciate the sheer spectacle before.

And great, here came Finn to ruin her quiet contemplation.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself," he said, sitting next to her in the bleachers.

"Do what?"

"I know how much it hurts to be off the team, you're just torturing yourself watching."

"I need a good distraction." That much was true; it was Ryan's first day back from suspension and she was barely keeping herself from hunting him down in the hallways as it was, she didn't want to come of as desperate because she wasn't. She just hadn't seen him for a whole week, which meant she hadn't had sex for a whole week, which meant she was about ready to explode from the sexual frustration, that was all.

"From what?"

Then there was the other more serious issue that Quinn was trying to distract herself from. She reached into her bag and pulled out the one of the bills that was weighing heavily on her mind.

"Six hundred and eighty five dollars?" Finn wheezed like he'd just been punched in the stomach.

"That's how much a sonogram costs." Quinn pursed her lips and turned to her boyfriend. "This is just the beginning, there's going to be more doctors visits, vitamins, new clothes for when I explode." That was probably the part she was least looking forward to. She was going to get so fat even Ryan probably wouldn't want her anymore.

Finn looked like he was struggling to comprehend it all. Did he not understand that babies cost money? "What are we gonna do?"

"What are you gonna do," Quinn shot back. She knew it was unfair to make Finn shoulder all the financial responsibility but she couldn't get a job herself, not without arousing her parents suspicions.

"I-I'm looking for a job," Finn stammered. "I mean, no one's hiring. I almost got in at Olive Garden but they said I was too tall to be a bus boy."

"Somewhere in that pea brain of yours' is a man, access him and tell him to prove to me that I chose the right guy to have a baby with," she said almost desperately, because Quinn was sincerely starting to have her doubts.

"I will. I'll find a job, you can count on me, I swear."

Quinn stood up, she didn't think she could stand to be in Finn's presence any longer without blurting out the truth.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"You were right, this does hurt too much."

He still thought she was talking about the Cheerios and Quinn didn't bother sticking around to correct him.

###

"I don't know if it was the unexpected badassness of him slushie-ing Schue but Berry's starting to look kind of hot to me."

Quinn's head whipped around to face Santana who was talking to Brittany while they waited in the choir room for Mr Schuester to grace them with his presence.

Brittany nodded in agreement with her best friend. "He is looking super fine lately."

Frowning, Quinn turned to study Ryan who was standing by the piano, completely focused on his sheet music. He didn't look any different to her. He wasn't even dressing any differently -she'd seen him wearing that charcoal gray long sleeved v-neck shirt, that clung deliciously to his chest and arms, before, she was sure of it-. So what was making Santana take notice of him now and, more importantly, what if other girls started noticing it too.

"If he wasn't a capital G gay and I was into social suicide, I would be on that like white on rice," Santana declared.

But Quinn didn't hear her, she was entranced by Ryan smoothing back the locks of dark hair that had fallen into his face, just that simple action had her quivering with desire. Squirming in her seat, Quinn cleared her throat and decided to vent some of her frustrations the only other way she knew how, by taking them out on Finn. "Have you found a job yet?"

Finn looked stricken. He didn't know how Quinn expected him to find a job in the two hours between their conversation that morning and now but apparently he'd failed her again. "No."

"What about Target?" she suggested.

"Tried, not hiring."

"Another doctor bill came to my parents house last night, Finn," Quinn said, trying to impress the seriousness of the situation onto her boyfriend. He should've started looking for a job the moment she'd told him she was pregnant. "We're lucky that I'm clever and I intercepted it but we have to start paying these doctor's bills or they're going to a collection agency and then my parents are going to find out that I'm with child. Your child."

Finn was saved by their teacher finally striding into the room, only fifteen minutes late. "Okay guys, before we begin, I believe Ryan has something he wants to say."

Ryan rolled his eyes and joined Mr. Schuester to address them all. "Yes, I need to apologize for my outburst last week. It was inappropriate, unacceptable and, according to some people, uncalled for. Mr. Schuester, I am sorry for throwing an iced beverage in your face, it won't happen again."

"Thank you, Ryan," Mr. Schuester smiled, obviously not picking up on the fact that Ryan was lying through his teeth. "You can sit down now."

Ryan pouted -he had prepared a special performance of 'I Am Sorry' by Brenda Lee but if Schuester wanted to be deprived of it then so be it- and took a seat next to Kurt..

"Now onto our second order of business," Schue continued. "The school won't pay for the special bus we need to take Artie and his wheelchair to Sectionals."

"W-w-what?" Tina stuttered.

"That's completely unfair," Ryan interjected, even though they didn't have much in common -other than a shared fondness for sweater vests- he liked Artie.

"So we have to raise money to pay for it ourselves," Schue said, rubbing his hands together. He had a feeling his kids were going to love this idea. "See when I was in glee club-"

_Oh great, here we go with the 'when I was in glee club' stories. Maybe Ryan had a point about him trying to relive his youth through us,_ Quinn thought as she rolled her eyes.

"- and we needed new silk cummerbunds for Regionals, we held a bake sale."

Schuester's idea was met with silence and then disbelieving laughter.

"You're joking, right?" Santana was the first to speak up. "I mean, bake sales are kind of bougie."

"So hip people stopped eating delicious sugary treats?" Schuester asked defensively.

"It's not that," said Brittany. "It's just that most us don't know how to bake. I find...recipes confusing."

"My family's fully committed to take out," Ryan added.

"Yeah, Mr. Schue," Finn's voice joined the chorus. "Kids are busier than when you went here, we've got homework and football, teen pregnancy, lunch."

"Can't Artie's dad just take him?" Mercedes asked, offering up what she thought was the most obvious solution.

"I can't believe how insensitive you're all being," Schue began in his best 'I'm so disappointed in all of you, I'm a nice guy and I don't want to make you feel bad but you should be very ashamed of yourselves' voice. "Aren't you a team?"

Well, Quinn wasn't going to let him get away trying to make them feel ashamed of being insensitive, not after last week. "Of course, but Artie understands, don't you Artie?"

"Of course," Artie agreed, he didn't want to be a bother to the rest of the team. "It's cool, anything that takes our time away from rehearsal doesn't serve the team."

Thankfully the bell rang then, sparing them from anymore of Schuester's lectures. As they walked out, Quinn broke away from Finn to sidle up to Ryan. "Lunch time, the auditorium?"

"I'll be there."

###

Quinn Fabray was officially pissed off. Not only did she have her pregnancy -and everything that came along with it- to deal with but now, thanks to Mr. Schue and his 'brilliant' ideas she had to spend three hours a day in a wheelchair, because getting around the school with her baby bump wasn't difficult enough already. And to top it all off, she hadn't had sex in eight days! EIGHT!

She couldn't being to describe how angry she'd been when she'd gotten to the auditorium the previous day, only to find it occupied by the drama club. She didn't even know the school had a drama club! And now it was lunch time again and instead of riding Ryan in the backseat of her car, she was stuck making cupcakes for Schuester's fricking bake sale.

"Hey." As if summoned by her thoughts, Ryan appeared in the doorway to the Home Ec. room. "Need some help?"

Quinn looked at him from under her long lashes. "I thought you said you couldn't bake."

"No, I didn't. I said my family usually gets take out." He smirked, leaning on the opposite side of the counter. "Besides, it's just mixing stuff together and sticking it in an oven, how hard can it be?"

He was actually a marvellous baker, his cookies were famous, but Quinn didn't need to know that.

Quinn just arched her eyebrow at him, amused and unimpressed.

"Look, it's unfair of us to expect you to make all these cupcakes by yourself, so I'll be your assistant," he said, moving around the counter to stand next to Quinn. "This way you get to order me around, I know how much you like that."

"Oh really?" Quinn chuckled, looking down at the measuring cups and hoping that he didn't notice her blush. "Okay, fine, you can start by measuring out three cups of flour."

Ryan nodded, accepting the offered measuring cup from her. He looked at the various bags set out in front of them. "Right, so which one's the flour?"

###

It was the longest amount of time they'd ever spent together where they weren't having sex and Quinn, to her surprise, was enjoying herself immensely. Ryan had dropped the dumb act -thank God, because he was starting to remind her of Finn- and proved himself to be a competent baker, although he let Quinn remain in control and only occasionally offered helpful hints. She was having fun -not dirty, sexy fun but pure, joyful fun- for the first time in a long time.

"So how much do you think we'll make?" Ryan asked, removing the last tray of cupcakes from the oven and placing it on the cooling rack.

"Not enough for Artie's bus, that's for sure. I know for a fact that none of the Cheerio's are going to buy any, they're all on Sue's master cleanse this week." If there was one thing Quinn didn't miss about being on the squad it was the insane pressure to keep her weight down. Now she could eat whatever she wanted without fear of retribution. And great, now thinking about food had made her hungry.

Without thinking, she ran her finger through the last remnants of cupcake batter that still clung to the mixing bowl and brought it to her mouth only for Ryan to grab her wrist before it could touch her lips.

"It's got raw eggs in it, it's bad for the baby," he reminded her, still not letting go of her wrist.

"Right," Quinn sighed. She knew that, she did, and she'd still been about to do it anyway. God, it was a good thing she was giving the baby away, she was obviously going to be a terrible mother. "I wasn't thinking." She frowned, now she had cupcake batter all over her finger and she couldn't suck it off herself...She couldn't suck it off. She held her finger up to Ryan's lips. "Here."

"Um." Ryan blinked in surprise. "Okay." He opened his mouth and gently closed his lips around Quinn's finger.

As soon as his lips touched Quinn's skin, it was like a switch inside her was flipped from 'Yay! I'm having fun with a boy I like!' to 'Holy God, I need him inside me right now!'. Her cheeks flushed, her pupils blew, her breath started coming in short pants and it was like someone had turned on a fire hose in her panties she was so wet. And judging by the way Ryan was looking at her, she wasn't the only one feeling the effects.

Ryan's tongue swirled around her finger and Quinn's other hand came up to tug desperately at his collar as she whimpered.

"Yo," Puck said loudly as he walked through the door causing the two to throw themselves away from one another. "Are the cupcakes ready yet? Schue says that the natives are getting restless, whatever that means."

Quinn, now standing at least five feet away from Ryan, cleared her throat before she spoke. "The ones on this end of the counter are ready to go. The next batch should be out in about ten minutes."

"Cool." Puck nodded and stuffed one of the iced cupcakes in his mouth before grabbing the two full trays and walking out again.

Well, this was awkward. Quinn let out a huge breath and clumsily gestured to the still un-iced cupcakes on the cooling rack. "We should..."

"Yeah," Ryan quickly agreed, grabbing the bowl of bright red icing. "So do you think we put enough food coloring in this?"

###

They'd been sitting there for thirty minutes now and they hadn't sold a single goddamn cupcake. It was a complete waste of Quinn's time. Time she could have been spending exercising out over a week's worth of sexual tension with Ryan.

"These cupcakes suck, that's why we're not selling any," Finn said, throwing one of the baked treats back down on the table.

How dare he. She and Ryan had worked hard on those and Quinn knew for a fact -she may have had half a dozen herself- that they tasted delicious. "It's not about the cupcakes, it's about us," she snapped at him. "Nobody wants to buy from losers. We're in glee club and in wheelchairs." Seriously, screw Schuester for doing this to her.

"She has a point," lamented Puck. "Six months ago we could have sold fifty of these things on fear alone."

And then along came Brittany with a special ed kid on her arm. This day just kept getting better and better. "Oh my god!" Quinn exclaimed. "What is she doing?"

"I actually think they're kind of friends," Finn informed them.

Puck could confirm that. "Brittany's always cheating off her test papers in math class."

"See, so many, and look how pretty they are, Becky," Brittany said to her new friend.

"Wow."

"Brittany, you're supposed to be in your wheelchair," Santana said, being the only one to notice that Brittany was walking when she was supposed to be rolling like the rest of them.

"I lost it."

Nobody thought to question it because it was Brittany, she would lose a wheelchair.

Quinn sat back and watched Brittany give a dollar to Becky so she could buy a cupcake. Great, now they had one whole dollar. Soon they'd be able to afford to buy a plane to fly Artie to Sectionals!

"So how much do we have now?" Brittany asked, looking proud of herself for drumming up some business.

"Well," Finn said, putting the bill into their cash box. "With this one dollar...we have one dollar."

Whose dumbass idea was it to sell them for a dollar each anyway. They were never going to sell six hundred cupcakes. "This is ridiculous," said Quinn.

"Well, maybe if we put a jellybean or something on top, we'd sell more," Finn suggested.

"Are you an idiot?" Quinn didn't even know why she bothered asking, she already knew the answer. "How am I supposed to trust you to take care of our baby when you can't even figure out how to sell a damn cupcake?"

It was just becoming clearer and clearer to Quinn that she had made a huge mistake choosing him to be the baby's father instead of Ryan. What Ryan lacked in status, he more than made up for in every other area.

"Stop attacking me, I'm sick of it."

"Get a job."

"I'm trying!" Finn stood up and kicked his wheelchair. It was like watching a wildly overgrown toddler in the midst of a temper tantrum. Yep, she'd definitely made a huge mistake.

###

The next day before school even started, Quinn found Ryan in the choir room, sitting at the piano and practicing his scales.

Without saying a word, she joined him on the bench and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his shoulder. "Sing me something," she ordered softly. She needed to see him in action, she needed to be reminded of his talent, she needed to be reminded of the reason she was doing all of this. Because now that being with Finn only caused her stress and aggravation and no longer offered her any protection, his quarterback status hadn't even cushioned her fall, she was so close to giving up and letting the truth come out.

"Any requests?" Ryan asked, setting his fingers on the black and white keys.

"Surprise me."

Ryan nodded and started playing, Quinn recognized the opening notes immediately.

"I've been alone with you inside my mind and in my dreams I've kissed you lips a thousand times," he crooned, holding Quinn's gaze. "I sometimes see you pass outside my door. Hello, is it me you're looking for?"

As he sang, Quinn was reminded that he had a future. A future outside of Lima, a future without a baby, a future without her. Her plan had worked perfectly.

But as with all her plans it seemed, this one had an unexpected consequence; because as he sang, she could see it in his eyes -his beautiful expressive eyes- that he truly meant every word that he was singing to her. He'd picked this song for a specific reason, he chose it because it said everything he wanted to say to her but she wouldn't let him.

"Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?" he belted the final chorus. "Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying...I love you."

Of course, he would declare his love for her through song. It was such a perfectly Ryan Berry thing to do it that made Quinn want to cry. She was powerless to stop the tears from welling in her eyes.

"I have something for you," he said, as soon as he'd finished playing the final note, not giving her a chance to react. He reached into his jacket and withdrew an envelope, handing it to her.

Quinn took it hesitantly, afraid of what she knew was inside and what it meant.

"It's for the baby, I overheard you yelling at Finn about the doctor's bills the other day."

Quinn opened the envelope and was shocked to find it was full of fifties. "There must be over a thousand dollars here," she gasped.

"Fifteen hundred and I can get more, whatever you need."

Quinn looked at him curiously. "How?"

"I have a job. I've been working since I was thirteen, singing at private functions; weddings, birthdays, corporate events, stuff like that. It pays quite well. I'm supposed to be saving the money for after I graduate, New York is an incredibly expensive place to live, but this is more important. I want you to have it."

Closing her eyes, Quinn felt the guilt wash over her. This is exactly what she didn't want to happen. "I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can," Ryan insisted with unexpected forcefulness. "I'm not going to have my child go without it's necessary prenatal care just because Finn Hudson is an incompetent buffoon."

"It's a girl," Quinn said quietly, realizing he didn't even know the sex of his own child. God, why did he have to be so sweet and perfect, it made it so much harder not to fall in love with him. No, it made it so much harder to pretend to not be in love with him. It made her want to keep the baby she knew she had to give away.

"A girl?" he whispered in awe, smiling brilliantly. He reached out and gently cupped her baby bump. "We're having a daughter."

"Don't," she whimpered, shying away from him.

"Quinn," Ryan sighed. He wrapped his arms around Quinn, who was now sobbing heavily, and pulled her against his chest. "I'd be a good father," he swore. "I'd take care of you and her."

"I know. I know that you would," Quinn said, burrowing in further against him. She was so close that she was almost in his lap. It was true, she didn't have a doubt that Ryan would be an amazing father; he'd be devoted and loving and focused on their child because, she knew, when Ryan Berry committed to something he always gave it 100%.

"So why won't you let me?"

Quinn didn't reply, she just cried harder. That was how Finn found them when he came wheeling into the room. "What the hell's going on?"

Panicking, Quinn looked up at Ryan pleadingly as she tucked the envelope he'd given her into the pocket of her cardigan.

Ryan immediately withdrew his arms from around her. "Your girlfriend's having a hormonal moment, Hudson," he sneered, standing up from the piano bench and getting into his wheelchair. "You might want to deal with that."

And with that Ryan was off, his departure slightly less dignified than he'd hoped, thanks to his stupid faulty wheelchair that refused to navigate through doorways without catching the frame at least once. It seemed that Schuester never missed an opportunity to sabotage him.

Hugging Quinn, Finn glared at him until he was out of sight. There certainly was no love lost between the duelling male leads. "Why are you crying? Was he mean to you?"

"No," Quinn denied, pulling away from her boyfriend and wiping the tears from her face. "He was really nice, actually."

"Nice? Berry?" Finn repeated in confusion. Ryan Berry was an arrogant ass, he was never _nice_. "If he was nice then why were you crying? You shouldn't lie to protect him."

"I'm not! He was nice to me and I started crying, you know that it doesn't take much to set me off lately since my hormones are so out of whack."

Finn nodded, it was true; Quinn's mood swings were powerful, unpredictable things. One minute they'd be kissing, then the next she'd be smacking him and yelling at him to get his hands off her. It was terrifying. "So I got job," he announced, finally remembering what he'd come to tell his girlfriend.

"You did?"

"Yeah, at the Ford dealership. Artie gave me the idea, I'll have to stay in the chair the whole time I'm there and the pay isn't that great-"

"It's okay," Quinn cut him off, forcing a smile. Finn was trying, in his own sweetly stupid way and for that she was grateful; it made it easier to resist all that Ryan had to offer her. "Thank you."

Finn grinned at her and patted his lap. "Can I give you a ride to homeroom?"

Quinn took a deep breath and closed her eyes, gathering up everything she felt for Ryan -all the longing and lust and love- and burying deep down inside. It wasn't going to happen, it couldn't happen. She'd made her bed and now she was going to lie in it. She opened her eyes and smiled down at Finn. "Sure."


	6. Chapter 6a

Quinn should've known that her resigned peace with Finn wouldn't last for long. Now he was constantly on her back to tell her parents about the baby. He just couldn't get it through his thick skull that they would not only not be happy about this latest development in their youngest daughter's life but that they'd probably send her off to a convent somewhere until she had the baby, where the nuns would take it away from her as soon as it was born and make sure it ended up in a 'good' Christian household like her own. Quinn couldn't imagine anything worse for her child.

And she had explained this, numerous times, but still Finn persisted. It seemed like the only time Quinn could get a moments peace was when she was with Ryan. At first it was a surprise to her, that someone who was usually so bossy and domineering could be so patient and submissive with her but she came to appreciate it greatly. He never pushed her to talk, he let her open up to him when and if she chose. He never tried to force her into telling the truth about the baby, even though he definitely had the right to. Even when she was giving him blowjobs -something that had become far more frequent in recent days, since the baby was now making her crave it's father's semen. Quinn tried not to think about how disturbing that was.- he was still as gentle and patient as that first time in the janitor's closet.

Being with Ryan was the only time she felt like she was in control of anything in her life anymore and she needed it. In a world where she was not even in control of her own body -now a slave to her cravings and hormones and seemingly constant need to urinate- she needed it more than ever.

It worried Quinn though that she could feel him becoming attached to their unborn child. Sometimes during their frenzied couplings, he'd put his hands on her now visible baby bump, caressing it until she batted them away. She couldn't let him get attached, not when she was going to give it away, it would only hurt him in the long run.

"Ballad," Mr. Schuesters voice brought her out of her thoughts. "From Middle English 'balade'. Who knows what this word means?"

Quinn rolled her eyes, this was glee club not AP English.

"It's a male duck," Brittany said instantly.

Schue just made a face, he'd given up on trying to correct Brittany a long time ago, and pointed to Kurt who had his hand raised. "Kurt."

"A ballad is a love song," Kurt explained, almost breathless with excitement.

"Sometimes, but they don't always express love. Ballads are stories set to music, so that's why they're the perfect storm of self-expression. Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way."

At this, Quinn perked up. She certainly had a lot of suppressed feelings that she needed to express. Finally it seemed like one of Schuester's assignments was actually going to benefit her.

"Now Sectionals are in a few weeks and there's a new rule this year. We have to perform a ballad," Schue announced.

"Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio Show Choir Committee finally paid off!" Ryan grinned at Quinn, who he was sitting next to, obviously excited by this new development.

Quinn couldn't stop herself from smiling back fondly. He was such an adorable nerd sometimes.

"Okay, so here's your assignment for the week, I'm going to pair you up and I want you to pick a ballad to sing to your partner," Schue said. He bent down so he was all up in Artie's personal space. "Look them right in the eye, find the emotion you want to express and make them _feel_ it."

"I pick Quinn," Finn said quickly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Quinn caught Ryan dramatically rolling his eyes and almost giggled.

"Oh no, no, no," said Schue. "Too easy, your partners will be chosen by fate."

A chorus of juvenile "Ooohs" sounded. Quinn just hoped she didn't get Santana...or Finn.

Their teacher picked up a top hat that was resting on the piano. "Oooh yeah. That's why I put all your names in this hat. Whoever you choose will be your partner."

"I bet the duck's in the hat," Brittany whispered conspiratorially to Santana.

"But Matt's out sick today," Santana said, rather than try to explain to her best friend that the lesson had nothing to do with ducks. "He had to go to the hospital cause he found a spider in his ear."

"I guess I'll just have to put my name in the hat for now," Mr. Schuester decided. "Who's up first?"

Puck was up and out of his seat before Mr. Schue had even finished speaking. He may have thought school was for suckers but, as a betting man, Puck knew a little something about odds and he knew that going first gave him the best chance of avoiding being paired up with Ryan Berry. He may have been a fellow Jew but the dude made Puck want to set himself on fire ninety percent of the time.

He reached into the hat and pulled out a name. "Mercedes." The girl in question just rolled her eyes in annoyance.

Artie went next. "Mr. Schue," he read out, smiling awkwardly. Well...that was certainly going to be interesting.

Then it was Finn's turn. "Kurt," he said, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Seeing the look on Kurt's face and the soft mocking laughs of their friends, Quinn didn't entirely blame him.

"Mr. Schue, I don't know if I can do this with another guy."

"The fates have spoken Finn," Schue said, making it clear that although Finn was his favorite, he still wasn't getting out of singing to Kurt.

Ryan was next and Quinn found herself sitting up straighter in her seat in anticipation. "Quinn." Fate indeed. She would have smiled if Ryan didn't look like someone had just shot his puppy. What was that about?

One by one the rest were paired off -Tina with Mike, who's name Mr. Schuester had written down as Other Asian in a stunning display of racial insensitivity, and Santana with Brittany.-

Artie raised his hand. "Would you mind clarifying what kinds of songs you want us to sing?"

Never one to miss an opportunity to perform, Ryan leapt to his feet. "Why don't you let me demonstrate? Ballads happen make up a large part of my very extensive repertoire," he said, moving to the piano, pushing Brad aside and taking his place. Before anyone could stop him, his fingers were moving deftly across the keys.

"She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes. She can ruin your faith with her casual lies and she only reveals what she wants you to see. She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me," he sang. "She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you. She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe. She'll take what you give her as long as it's free. Yeah, she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me."

Maybe it was the way that Ryan kept glancing in her direction or the fact that the lyrics seemed to describe her in an eerily accurate manner, but Quinn couldn't help but feel that his heartfelt rendition of Always A Woman To Me was directed solely at her. She didn't know whether to feel flattered or offended.

"She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel. She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool. And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you but she's always a woman to me."

A round of polite applause broke out as Ryan finished up the song. Frowning to herself, Quinn clapped along with them. Maybe things with Ryan weren't going smoothly as she'd originally thought.

###

Standing in front of a mirror in her dress for the Chastity Ball, Quinn had never felt more like a complete fraud. She could see it plain as day, her baby bump, the evidence that she had absolutely no business wearing that white dress, and if she could see it then other people would too.

"Sweetie, I am so proud of you," her mother said, rubbing her arm. "The Chastity Ball is so important to your father."

Quinn missed her Cheerios uniform, which managed to almost completely hide her sha...no, not shame. She was not ashamed of their baby. She didn't know when she'd stopped thinking of it as her baby and started thinking of it as theirs but she knew she had to stop. It was thinking like that, that lead to thinking about what it would be like to keep the baby with Ryan and that would only lead to places that Quinn couldn't allow herself to go.

Her mother moved behind her to zip the dress up, Quinn sucked in her stomach and silently prayed it would do all the way up.

But apparently God wasn't listening because the zipper stopped halfway up her back.

"Hmm, well that's odd, we had this custom made a month ago."

"I had a really big lunch today at school," Quinn scrambled to cover up the truth for just that little bit longer. "Really big tacos."

She could see it on her mother's face, reflected in the mirror, she didn't believe her. She knew. Oh God, her mom knew!

Quinn waited for the tearful acknowledgement of her situation; she braced herself for the anger, the words of disappointment. None of it ever came.

Judy Fabray plastered on a painfully fake smile -much like the one Quinn knew she wore herself whenever she told Finn that she loved him- and embraced her daughter from behind. "No worries, sweetie. I'll just take it down to the tailor tomorrow and we'll let it out a little bit," she said in an overly cheerful manner.

It was then that Quinn knew that the small, almost desperate, comforting touches Judy was giving her and her silence was all the support that she was ever going to get from her mother.

In some ways her mother's resolute denial was even worse than the anger Quinn had been expecting.

"The problem here is, honey, you know that I-I don't think you've been getting enough exercise ever since you quit the Cheerios, am I right?" Judy continued, looping the measuring tape around Quinn's waist.

Quinn briefly considered telling her that she got quite the daily workout having copious amounts of sex with the father of her child, just to see what her mother's reaction would be to that. "Yeah. Yeah, that's right," she agreed instead, consciously feeding her mother's self-delusion.

"I mean, you used to spend hours ever day doing backflips and high kicks. So now, I mean, now you spend all your free time sitting on a stool in the dark singing showtunes. Do you know how many calories you burn singing? Not very many."

Quinn looked at her mother with sad eyes, silently pleading with her to drop the act for just one second and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

"Judy!" Quinn heard her father call out. "Glenn Beck is on!"

Her mother's gleeful reaction kind of made Quinn want to cry. They were such a cliché; a family of blonde, bigoted conservative Christian Republicans that worshipped at the altar of Fox News.

"Oh wait, hold on, hold on," her father hammed it up, holding his hand over his eyes as he entered the room. "Oh, I don't want to see!"

"Daddy, it's not like we're getting married," Quinn said demurely. But one day, she knew, one day she was expected to marry a man just like her father.

Her father came up to her, peeking between his fingers before finally removing his hand from his face. Looking at her with pride, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek as her mother picked up her gin and tonic.

"Oh, look at you!" he said proudly. "Speaking of getting married, how's that boy you've been dating?"

It probably said something that Quinn's thoughts immediately went to Ryan, rather than Finn.

"Yeah, he's not pressuring you at all is he?" Judy asked with a hint of concern.

"No." At least not for sex. "No, he's a gentleman."

"I'm glad to hear that," Russell said, smiling approvingly. "That's why I'm inviting him over for dinner on Sunday."

No. That was not going to happen, Quinn couldn't let Finn anywhere near her parents. He'd probably inform them of her pregnancy through song or something idiotic and disrespectful to her wishes like that. She'd knock him out and tie him to a chair before letting him even breathe the same air as them.

"Oh! Wonderful!" Judy breathed in excitement.

"Refresher?" Russell asked, moving to take his wife's half-empty glass. His own glass of whiskey clutched in his hand. Her parents called themselves social drinkers, Quinn secretly called them functional alcoholics.

"Oh, I don't want you to have to lift a finger for me. I'm your wife," Judy said happily. Quinn watched them in dismay, knowing that was going to be her in twenty years time. She didn't want that. She didn't want a life where she mindlessly catered to her husband's every whim like a deranged Stepford wife, self-medicating with alcohol to the point where she'd never be able to feel anything more than numbness.

The worst part was that she knew she had a way out, she just wouldn't, couldn't, allow herself to take it.

###

"So that song you sang yesterday..." Quinn began tentatively, watching Ryan buckle his belt while she slid her underwear back up her legs. Finn was thankfully off practicing his ballad with Kurt, leaving her free to spend more time with Ryan, she would've been a fool not to take advantage of it. "Was it about me?"

"It didn't offend you, did it?" Ryan asked, suddenly looking worried.

"No. Not really..." She sighed, she knew that she shouldn't be talking about this with him. She should just leave well enough alone but she couldn't do that, not when she could feel Ryan pulling away from her. Not physically, they were having more sex than ever, but emotionally; ever since the day he sang Hello to her, he didn't even look at her when they made lo...had sex anymore. "Why did you sing it?"

"Because it's one of my favorite ballads and it suits my voice...and yes, given it's position on the playlist I made about you, perhaps it does remind me of you a little," Ryan admitted, looking anywhere but at Quinn. "But not in a bad way."

"You have a playlist about me?" Quinn asked, flattered. "How many songs are on it?"

"As of yesterday, fifty eight."

Quinn bit her lip as she smiled, her cheeks turning pink. She stepped closer to him, smoothing her hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked guilelessly, his hands automatically coming to rest on her hips.

"I know that this can't be easy for you but...you've been so good to me, really," Quinn said, gazing up into his doe-like brown eyes that were blazing with intensity as he looked at her. "I just...thank you for being so amazing."

The corner of Ryan's mouth twitched up and he bent his head so their foreheads were resting together. "I can be better, if you'd let me."

"I know." She leaned up and kissed him tenderly, hoping that even though she couldn't tell him how she felt, he'd feel it and know. "But I can't."

_You'll thank me for this one day, Ryan._

_###_

It was a Wednesday and Quinn's world was falling apart. As if things weren't bad enough with her own mother knowing, now Finn's mom did too. She'd caught him singing to a recording of the sonogram of the baby, which Quinn would've thought was incredibly sweet if she wasn't so furious.

Carole Hudson was a smart woman, if she started asking questions, if Finn told her the lie Quinn had fed him about the hot tub and that they'd never actually had sex, she'd realize that the baby wasn't his. And if she didn't, the poor woman thought that she was going be a grandmother...She was just another person that was going to get hurt when the truth came out.

"I can't believe you told your mom, what if she tells my mom?" Quinn hissed at Finn, if they were somewhere a little more private than the school hallway, she would've been screaming at him.

"She's not-"

"Half the school knows, your mom knows." _My mom knows._ "Who else do you want to tell, huh?"

"She's not going to tell anybody-"

"You're wrong, I'm right," Quinn cut him off, poking his chest. "I'm smart, you're dumb."

"Quinn, it's okay-"

"No, no, no!" She didn't want to hear it. Quinn was verging on the edge of hysteria, yet another thing had been taken out of her control, it was all slipping away too fast to save. She just needed everything to stop so she could catch her breath and think for one second. She needed Ryan.

"You're wrong, I'm right. I'm right!" she said loudly, walking away from Finn before she did something truly drastic.

"She's doesn't talk to other moms!" she heard him yell at her retreating back.

Shaking her head, Quinn made a beeline for Ryan's locker, hoping that he'd still be there. What she found when she rounded the corner horrified her.

Ryan was pressed back up against his locker, looking vaguely terrified, and being _molested_ by the school crazy, Suzy Pepper. Quinn barely managed to tamp down the part of her that felt like hitting her with a chair.

Holding her head up high and attempting to adopt the posture of Quinn Fabray, head cheerio and school tyrant, she marched over to the pair. "What's going on here?"

"I-I..." Ryan stuttered, looking at her pleadingly as Suzy practically wrapped her whole body around his arm.

"I was just admiring Ryan's arms," Suzy sighed dreamily. "Your biceps are so firm." She squeezed said bicep, sending Quinn into a possessive rage.

No. This was not happening. Not today. _Mine,_ the primal part of her brain growled, urging her to crush her rival. And that's what Suzy Pepper was, even if she was only mildly attractive and not so mildly insane, if she was interested in Ryan then she was Quinn's competition.

"Yes, they are," Quinn snarled, wrapping herself firmly around Ryan's other arm, clearly staking her claim. "And they're off limits, especially to you," she said in a tone that obviously meant _"Get your hands off my man, you crazy bitch."_ She reached up and hooked her fingers around Ryan's collar for extra emphasis.

Ryan's confused eyes darted back and forth between them, the poor boy had obviously never had two women fighting over him and didn't have a clue what was going on.

Suzy narrowed her eyes at Quinn, obviously trying to figure out why she was acting like an extremely jealous girlfriend, but eventually backed off.

"Come on, Ryan," Quinn said, tugging on his hand to drag him away. "We need to practice our ballads for Glee."

She held his hand as she pulled him down the hall. She knew that people were staring, she knew that word of it would get back to Finn, but for the moment Quinn honestly didn't care what people thought of her. They could all go to hell.


	7. Chapter 6b

"Quinn, are you alright?" Ryan inquired once Quinn had dragged him into the choir room and slammed the door shut behind them. "You seem upset."

Quinn ignored his question. "Why were you talking to her?" she asked urgently. She needed to know that Ryan had no interest in Suzy. Quinn needed to know that he still wanted her and only her.

"I wasn't really." His brow furrowed as he recalled the encounter. "She just came up to me in the hall and started touching me. It was deeply unsettling."

If Quinn had been in her right mind, his sincere assurance would have been enough. But Quinn was not in her right mind; she was stressed about Finn's mother finding out about the baby, she was furious at her own mother for ignoring the baby and she was currently consumed with jealously that Suzy freaking Pepper could feel Ryan up in the halls but she couldn't.

Seizing Ryan by the front of his sweater, she pushed him back against the piano and forced her lips against his in an impassioned kiss. She needed to remind Ryan that he belonged to her and she need to forget all the crap going on in her life. Two birds, one stone.

"Q-Quinn?" Ryan stuttered as soon she released his lips to suck roughly on his neck. She needed to mark him, claim him as her own so that the Suzy Peppers of the world would know to back the fuck off. "Are-"

"Don't. Don't ask me if I'm okay," she said harshly, gripping the back of his neck so tightly her nails dug into his skin. She was so far from okay it wasn't funny. "Just kiss me."

###

"So how's it going with Finn?" Mercedes asked Kurt as they roamed the halls together.

Kurt faltered for a moment, thinking his best friend was onto his plan to seduce the friendly giant right out from under Quinn Fabray's nose, before recovering. "Oh. Not so good, this whole thing with Quinn has him really messed up." After seeing all the stress and heartache that Finn was going through, Kurt had never been more relieved to be gay. At least he didn't have to worry about unwanted pregnancies.

Mercedes shook her head sympathetically and started searching through her bag for her phone, she needed to get an update from Tina. "I can't even imagine what they're going through. Quinn looked like she was completely freaking out about Finn's mom knowing. Damn," she said, her efforts to find her phone turning out to be fruitless. "I must've left my phone in the choir room. I'll have to go get it before chem."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You can't live without your phone for one period?"

Mercedes shot him a withering look. This coming from the boy who took his cell phone into the shower with him. "I can't afford to miss a single second of the hot damn mess that babygate's turning into."

As a fellow gossip monger, Kurt could understand that reasoning. "Well, you'll forgive me if I don't go with you. Ryan's got the choir room booked for now and you very well know that if you interrupt his practice time he will lecture you to death." Kurt shuddered at the thought.

It still traumatized him to think of the attempts Tina and Mercedes had made to set him up with Ryan Berry, when the glee club was still in it's infancy, despite Kurt's insistence that Ryan really was just a straight guy that happened to have a deep and abiding love of showtunes -Mercedes had claimed that such a thing did not exist-.

"I'll take my chances." Mercedes smirked, confident she'd be able to get in, grab her phone and get out without Ryan even noticing she was there. Ninja blood did run in her veins, after all.

Mercedes plan was simple. Ryan usually played the piano during his practice sessions, so she'd stealthily slip in through the door his back would be to, creep over to where she'd been sitting that morning, locate her phone and then hightail it out of there before Ryan spotted her. The last thing she needed was another lecture on the tackiness of inserting unnecessary vocal runs into songs just to show off her voice more.

So when Mercedes silently opened the door to the choir room to find Quinn Fabray perched atop the piano; head thrown back in ecstasy, one hand bracing herself on the shiny black surface, the other buried in the hair of Ryan Berry, who had his pants down around his ankles and was pumping his hips furiously between Quinn's spread legs, Mercedes was understandably shocked.

She may have been a virgin that had never even been kissed but Mercedes knew enough to know that they were definitely having sex. Quinn Fabray was having sex with Ryan Berry. On a piano. There was nothing about the scenario that made sense and yet Mercedes was watching it play out before her very eyes.

She didn't know how long she'd been standing there watching -having the shock of your life will really screw with your sense of time- but when Quinn started keening Ryan's name, the spell was effectively broken. Mercedes backed out of the doorway and closed the door just as quietly as she'd opened it.

Still wide eyed with shock, Mercedes walked to her next class, deaf and blind to everything around her. How could Quinn do that to Finn? She could understand that Quinn was under a lot of pressure at the moment, stressed out about the baby and her parents and then dealing with her wacky hormones on top of that. Ryan probably took advantage of her in vulnerable state and tricked her into having sex with him, Mercedes decided. Because while Ryan Berry's crush on Quinn was so glaringly obvious it could be seen from space, Quinn Fabray would not have touched him with a ten foot pole under normal circumstances. So yes, this was all Ryan's fault.

Now Mercedes knew two things for certain. One, she was going to have to give Ryan Berry a lecture of her own. And two, she would never be able to look at that piano the same way again.

###

When Mercedes had asked him to meet her in the astronomy room after glee practice that afternoon, Ryan had been wary -which was understandable, given the fact that whenever Mercedes had looked in the direction of the piano she'd uncontrollably burst into hysterical laughter, leading Ryan to ponder if she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown- but she'd mentioned needing help with a ballad so he couldn't very well refuse her.

He certainly wasn't expecting her to attack him the moment he walked through the classroom door.

"I know about you and Quinn."

Drawing upon his years of theater training, Ryan did his best to project an air of aloofness. "What about me and Quinn?"

"I know that you had sex with her. How could you do that Ryan?" Regardless of whether she actually liked him personally, Mercedes had always believed that Ryan was fundamentally a good person with strong morals. She'd expected better from him.

"Mercedes, seeing as we were in the same class for sex ed, I assumed you were aware of the mechanics of sexual intercourse."

Mercedes just glared at him. "I know how sex works, idiot. I want to know how you could think it was okay to take advantage of Quinn like that."

_Take advantage of?_ Ryan's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh really? Well let me tell you what I do know. I know that you've been crushing on Quinn since the eighth grade." Thanks to Kurt pointing it out. "I know that Quinn is going through hell right now and is all kinds of vulnerable and I know that Finn, _the father of her baby_," she stressed. "Would be devastated if he found out about this."

"Oh please, I'm more of a father to that baby than Finn will ever be." Ryan didn't mean to say it, not out loud, but he'd always had trouble not speaking his thoughts when angry.

"For how long, Ryan? We all know that the second you graduate you're taking off to New York and not looking back."

"I'd never abandon my child like that!" Ryan snapped defensively. "Besides, Quinn's not keeping it so really this whole conversation is moot," he continued quickly, hoping to distract Mercedes from the fact that he'd just inadvertently exposed his and Quinn's secret.

"Hold up. Your child?" Mercedes took a moment to ponder the idea before giggling. It was insane, it was completely insane. "No way. There's no way..." Then she noticed the pained heartbroken look on Ryan's face. Holy crap. "Quinn's having your baby?"

Ryan nodded once, sharply, knowing that Quinn was likely to kill him for this but it was too late to try and stuff the genie back into the bottle.

Mercedes closed her eyes and frowned, trying to make sense of this new twist that made babygate about a thousand times more dramatic. She couldn't wait to tell Kurt.

Finally her eyes snapped open and she started advancing on Ryan. "Okay, you know what, you may be the baby's daddy but Quinn _chose_ Finn to be it's father and you need to start respecting that."

"I do!" If he didn't he would've just told Finn the truth himself a long time ago. Quite frankly, Ryan felt like he'd been more than respectful of Quinn's wishes thus far.

"No, you don't. If you did you wouldn't be making Quinn cheat on Finn."

"I'm not making her do anything," Ryan said vehemently, standing his ground. "I love her, Mercedes."

"If you loved her as much as you claim to, you'd leave her alone," Mercedes said coldly. "You've messed up her life enough already, don't go wrecking her relationship with Finn too." Ryan hung his head. "Oh, and by the way, we're singing Lean On Me to Finn and Quinn on Monday, they need all the support they can get right now. You'll understand if we don't let you have the male lead."

###

"Say that again," Quinn commanded, because Ryan could not have just said what he thought he had. Mercedes could not know the truth. He could not have told her.

"Mercedes knows about us and that I'm the father," Ryan said, giving her the highlights of the ramble that had preceded her order.

When Ryan had sought her out after her English class, Quinn had known that something must be wrong but she wasn't prepared for this. She felt betrayed; Ryan was the one person she thought that she could count on when everyone else in her life let her down. She felt angry; How dare Mercedes butt into her personal life like that. She felt terrified; Mercedes was a notorious gossip, now that she knew it was only a matter of time before the others found out and this whole thing blew up in her face. And every single one of these emotions Quinn was feeling were amplified by her raging baby hormones. It was not a good mix.

"Then she warned me to leave you alone," Ryan revealed. "I believe that she's attempting to protect you, since she seems to be under the impression that I'm going to abandon you to go to New York as soon as we graduate."

"Aren't you?"

Ryan looked offended by the very suggestion. "Of course not, Quinn." Wrong answer. Now Quinn knew that she had to end it, for both their sakes.

When he moved to comfort her by taking her into his arms, Quinn just snapped.

"Don't touch me!" She lashed out, pushing him away from her and feeling her own heart break in the process. "This is all your fault, Ryan. Mercedes was right, I did choose Finn to be the father-"

"Quinn, I love you."

"Don't say that! You are not my boyfriend, you have no right to say that to me!" Quinn shrieked, on the verge of hyperventilating. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing.

"I think that you've lost sight of what this is about," Quinn said in a detached voice once she'd gotten a grip on herself. "I'm using you to take care of an itch that I need scratched. That's it. It means nothing, we are nothing. I'm not in love with you and I don't want to keep this baby with you and nothing you do is going to change that, do you understand?" She couldn't bring herself to look at him and face the damage that she was doing with her lies.

"You don't mean that."

"Of course I do," Quinn said resolutely, focusing on a spot on the wall. "I'm Quinn Fabray, remember? I'm a heartless bitch who uses people to get what I want, we both know that."

Ryan shook his head. "That's not true, you're not really like that." Even when she was breaking his heart, he still defended her.

_It's for the best,_ Quinn reminded herself. _It might be hurting him now but he'll thank me one day. I just have to do it quick, like pulling off a band aid. _

Quinn clamped down on her bottom lip with her teeth, struggling to remain in control of herself. "I really wish that was true." _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ryan. I never meant to hurt you like this. Please forgive me._ "Under the circumstances, I think it's best if we terminate our little arrangement. I'm sorry, Ryan, but it's over," she finished firmly, formally, like they were discussing a failed business venture. _I love you but..._ "We can't see each other anymore."


	8. Chapter 6c

She was hurting so many people.

How could her plan, that had seemed so simple in the beginning, go so wrong? It wasn't supposed to be like this. Nobody was supposed to get hurt.

Finn wasn't supposed to change from a sweet, easygoing boy to a stressed out young man that was quick to anger. His mother wasn't supposed to be getting excited about a grandchild that didn't exist.

And Mrs. Hudson certainly wasn't supposed to be presenting Quinn with baby clothes like she had the night before at dinner.

Taking advantage of the fact that it was Saturday, Quinn lay in bed rubbing her baby bump -the only thing that relaxed her anymore- and mulling over the day from hell that had been her Friday.

She already knew that the day was going to be a nightmare from the time she woke up with a headache, no doubt caused by the fact she'd been up almost all night sobbing into her pillow over her break up -Could it be called a break up if they were never dating?- with Ryan.

And it was all downhill from there.

They had glee first thing and as soon as Quinn walked into the room she could tell that they all knew -Santana's smirk, Puck's glare, the disapproving shake of Artie's head, it was so obvious- the only one still in the dark was Finn and Quinn knew that wouldn't last much longer at this rate, one of them would slip up and reveal the truth eventually. Damn Mercedes for not being able to keep her big mouth shut.

Then Ryan had walked in and promptly informed Mr. Schuester that he would like to perform his ballad to Quinn.

By that point, Quinn was giving serious consideration to just running out of the choir room, jumping on the next bus out of town and disappearing completely. But instead she dutifully made her way to the seat that Schue had set up, front and center, so Ryan could sing to her. She'd braced herself for Ryan to sing a maudlin ballad of lost love to her, so when started singing I Don't Do Sadness from Spring Awakening, Quinn was caught off guard. Obviously Ryan had taken Mr. Schuester's assignment seriously, because he looked her straight in the eye and made her feel _everything_ he was feeling; all the pain and misery and anger and helplessness that he'd been keeping hidden from her for so long.

By the end of the song, Quinn was a distraught, sobbing mess. She'd done that to him, she'd made him feel all those awful things, and she hadn't even known. She'd thought that he was okay, not happy, of course, but okay with their arrangement, he'd never said anything. If he was that miserable, then he should've said something. She couldn't have known, she tried to rationalize, Ryan was an expert at hiding his pain; looking at him, you'd never know that he started each morning with a slushie facial or that he was shoulder checked into lockers and tossed into dumpsters every other day. Ryan hid all his negative feelings behind a mask of overconfidence and relentless optimism, Quinn told herself, how could she have seen through it?

But Quinn couldn't fool herself anymore. She'd known, deep down she'd always known that she was hurting him by carrying on their casual affair when she knew that he wanted so much more. She was just too selfish to stop it.

Every attempt she made to try and communicate with Ryan for the rest of the day resulted in her getting nothing but a cold shoulder.

By the end of the day, Quinn had been beyond ready to go home, lock herself in her room and cry, so when Finn reminded her that they had an appointment with Dr. Wu in an hour, she was so tempted to cancel it. She didn't, of course, she knew these check ups were too important to miss and this was the last appointment she'd be able to afford from the money that Ryan had given her. She knew that if she asked Ryan for more he'd give it to her but given the circumstances that just seemed crass. Why the hell couldn't Finn have got a job that paid more than $9.50 an hour?

When Dr. Wu asked Quinn if she was under an unusual amount of stress, she'd laughed in his face. Then he told her that she had high blood pressure, she was bordering on being hypertensive and given that she fell into two high risk groups – being pregnant for the first time and in her early teens- for developing pre-eclampsia, which could be fatal for both her and the baby, that was most definitely not something they wanted to happen. Suddenly his question didn't seem so funny anymore. She'd sat stony faced as the doctor told her that she needed to drastically cut down on the stress in her life. Easier said than done.

On the way back to his house, Finn offered to start doing her homework for her so she wouldn't have to worry about it. Quinn had just glared at him. She should've told him to take her home then and there, she was in no mood for dinner with his mother, but Mrs. Hudson made awesome mac and cheese and Quinn was in dire need of comfort food.

She regretted letting her cravings get the better of her later when, after trading pregnancy war stories, Mrs Hudson started talking about how she was in Target the other day and just couldn't resist going into the baby section. She gushed about how cute all the little clothes were before presenting Quinn with a tiny pink t-shirt with a big gold star printed on the front.

Clutching the shirt to her chest, Quinn had started bawling in a most unladylike and embarrassing fashion; Mrs. Hudson thought it was because she was touched by the gift, Finn thought she was crying because she was having second thoughts about giving up the baby. Neither of them thought it was because the shirt reminded Quinn so much of Ryan -gold stars were his thing, after all-, they didn't know how perfect a gift it was for _his_ daughter.

Quinn left soon after that, thanking Mrs. Hudson profusely for dinner and the shirt. Then she'd spent the ride back to her house yelling at Finn for not telling his mother that they weren't keeping the baby.

She felt trapped, she was suffocating and being crushed under the weight of her lies, and every move she made just seemed to make the noose pull tighter.

The truth will set you free, wasn't that how that saying went? The truth...it would hurt so many people but, then again, those same people were already suffering anyway. It just didn't seem worth it anymore. She fallen as far as she was going to go and she'd dragged Finn down with her -not as far but he'd seen a definite drop in status-, he had no protection to offer her anymore. He had nothing to offer her at all. He'd be hurt, when she told him, he'd be angry but he'd get over it. Eventually he'd be thankful he dodged a bullet. Then later on, after high school when Finn found a nice girl who loved him for the sweet, simple dolt that he was, Mrs. Hudson would get the grandchild she was apparently longing for.

Quinn could break up with Finn, let the truth come out and just be with Ryan. It all sounded so deceptively easy. So why hadn't she done it yet?

Because Quinn knew that she was weak, she didn't trust herself to be with Ryan -to love him openly, give herself to him fully- and not want to keep the baby. She was being selfish again; the way things were now, as horrible and stressful as they were, it would be easy to hand her child over to Terri Schuester. It would be a relief.

But if she was with Ryan, she knew that she'd be happy, they'd be happy together, and she'd start getting all these _ideas_ about being a happy little family; her, Ryan and their daughter living in domestic bliss. And Quinn was afraid that she wouldn't be able to give their baby away. They'd keep it and be trapped in Lima forever and Ryan would become a dentist or an accountant or something equally as dull and responsible and light years away from the stardom he was destined for.

That was it. The one thing that was stopping her. It seemed so silly, so insignificant, really. _Be brave. The truth will set you free._ Before she could stop to think, before she could talk herself out of it, Quinn was reaching for the telephone.

She knew it was cowardly to do this over the phone but it was also a matter of self-preservation. Quinn was reluctant to admit it but Finn's temper scared her. If he was blowing up and kicking wheelchairs because she was on his back to get a job then she shuddered to think what his reaction would be to the bomb that she was going to drop on him.

"Hey, Quinn," Finn answered the phone, sounding distracted. From the muffled sounds of yelling, gunfire and explosions, Quinn could hear on his end of the line, she guessed he was playing a video game. Probably the new Call of Duty that she'd overheard him telling Puck that he'd bought the other day with the money that he was supposed to be saving for the baby. "Everything okay?"

"We need to talk," Quinn said seriously. She had no time for pleasantries, she needed to get this done before she chickened out.

"Okay."

She could still hear the sounds of the game in the background. "Can you turn the game off, Finn? This is important."

"But I'm not near a save point," he whined.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Fine, then pause it. I need your full attention."

Finally the sounds ceased. "There it's paused, what's so important?"

"We need to break up."

"What?"

"I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore, Finn. It's not fair to you. I'm sorry."

Quinn could practically hear the rusty cogs grinding in Finn's brain. "But I love you."

"No, you don't, Finn." Or at least he wouldn't by the end of this conversation. "And I don't love you either, that's the problem."

"But we're having a baby together."

Quinn closed her eyes, breathed deep and took the plunge. "No, we aren't."

"There's no baby?" he asked slowly, struggling to understand. "Because I'm pretty sure that the baby doctor said that there's a baby and he'd know, right?"

"There is a baby, Finn," Quinn said as gently as possible. "It's just not yours."

Silence. Quinn was starting to think he'd hung up on her until, "How can it not be mine? I'm your boyfriend."

"I cheated on you. I had sex with someone else, I'm sorry."

"But the hot tub-"

"I made it up," she confessed. "I made it up so that you'd think the baby was yours. Finn, I am so sorry, I didn't know what else to do."

"I don't understand."

Quinn sighed, of course Finn was going to need this spelled out in explicit detail for him. "I got drunk and had sex with somebody else, they got me pregnant and then I pretended the baby was yours."

Quinn heard a thud that sounded suspiciously like an Xbox controller hitting a wall. "How could you to this to me?"

"I was scared, Finn. I know it's not an excuse-"

"So you lied to me? Made me fall in love with a kid that isn't even mine because you were scared?"

"I'm sor-"

"So whose is it?" Finn cut her off, sounding angrier than she'd ever heard him. "Who's the real father then? Do you even know?"

Quinn flinched at his implication. "It doesn't matter who it is, only that it's not you."

She knew that Finn would find out on Monday or maybe even sooner but she was hoping that by then he'd have had enough time to cool down.

"It matters to me!" he shouted. "It had to be one of the guys on the football team, one of my friends. Was it Puck? Have you two been laughing at me behind my back this whole time?"

"It's not Puck," Quinn denied, calmly. It could have been Puck, if he'd kept feeding her wine coolers, if she hadn't found Ryan tied to that keg and taken him home. But it wasn't, thank God. "And I haven't been laughing at you, Finn."

"You're evil, Quinn," Finn said, his voice ugly and twisted with spite. "You know, I never really believed it when other people said that about you, but you are. You're an evil bitch."

"I know."

"Don't agree with me!" he screamed, apparently taking great offence to it. "I'm the victim here, Quinn, stop trying to make me feel bad!"

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

"Shut up! I'm done with you!" There was a loud crunch, loud enough to make Quinn cringe and move the phone away from her ear, then nothing. He must've thrown his phone at the wall and broken it, she concluded.

That was it. It was done. Quinn knew it was clichéd but she really did feel like a weight had been lifted, she could finally breathe again.

Revelling in her new found freedom, Quinn flopped back on her bed, her hands automatically going to cradle her stomach. Then she felt it, a tiny flutter under her fingertips that was one of the oddest sensations that Quinn had ever experienced. The baby was kicking.

"Hello," she cooed, gently tapping her finger back against the same spot. "Hey, baby, hi." She was laughing -and crying- with pure joy, grinning so hard her cheeks ached. "I'm guessing that you approve then, huh?" More flutters, stronger this time. "I'll take that as a yes."

Her baby was kicking for the first time, it was the happiest moment of Quinn's young life. The only thing spoiling it was that Ryan wasn't there to share in her joy. He should've been there. She wanted him to be there.

Quinn found herself reaching for her phone again.

###

Pausing in her pacing of the foyer, Quinn checked her hair in the mirror one more time. It was down in loose curls, just how Ryan liked it, and paired with her white babydoll dress it made her look almost angelic.

Ryan would be there any minute. After Quinn had text messaged him a plea for him to come over and the directions to her house, he'd texted back saying he'd be there in an hour. Which Quinn was grateful for, it gave her enough time to jump in the shower and make herself presentable.

She was so nervous that she almost jumped out of her skin when the doorbell rang, the sound of church bells echoing through the house.

Smoothing down her clothes, Quinn moved to answer the door. She'd been prepared for the usual onslaught of hormonal lust that happened whenever she saw Ryan. She was not prepared for the sight of Ryan Berry in a suit.

Now Ryan always took pride in his appearance, -wanting to look his best in case he should randomly be discovered by a casting director looking the next big thing-, the fact that he actually ironed his clothes rather than just pulling on whatever he could find on the floor after rolling out of bed, like most boys at their school, was unfathomably something he was teased for. But seeing him in the perfectly fitted grey suit and black tie just seemed to short circuit Quinn's brain and wipe all coherent thought from her mind. He looked delicious.

"Quinn?"

Quinn blinked. Ryan was talking, why was he here again? Oh right, she needed to tell him that she'd broken up with Finn and that he was the love of her life or something like that. "You're wearing a suit,"she uttered dumbly.

"Yes, I usually wear them when I'm working...unless it's a themed wedding, then I have to wear a costume the couple selects," he added, sounding a little disgusted. It being Lima, home of the tacky, Ryan sang at a lot of themed weddings. Just last week he'd been forced to wear a dayglo yellow spandex monstrosity for a WWE themed ceremony. Never again.

"You should wear them all the time," Quinn said, still in a lustful daze. "Like to school and everything."

"I'll take that under advisement," he said, frowning at her in concern. "Quinn, are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Then perhaps we should discuss the reason you've invited me over, rather than what I'm wearing."

Quinn shook her head, struggling to get her brain back into gear. "Right. Yes, we should." She grabbed his hand and dragged him inside her house.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you," she blurted out, closing the door and leaning her back against it. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it. I was just upset and crazy with my baby hormones and I lashed out at you and I'm sorry. I am so sorry that I hurt you, Ryan."

It was a far less eloquent apology than the one she had rehearsed and subsequently forgotten but it seemed to do the trick. Ryan nodded and moved closer to her.

"I told you that you didn't mean it," he reminded her with a soft smirk.

"I know," Quinn said softly and threw herself against him. Her body practically hummed with happiness when she felt his strong arms close around her. "Don't be smug."

Ryan grinned, nuzzling the top of her head. "I'm never smug. Occasionally conceited and arrogant but never smug."

Quinn giggled, beaming, she pressed her cheek against his chest and curled her hand around his tie. She'd missed him. She hadn't just missed the amazing sex, she'd missed him. She'd missed his voice, she'd missed his smile, she'd missed his ability to have intelligent conversations about things that weren't cake or football or video games, she'd missed the way he held her, she'd even missed the way he smelled. She'd missed everything about him.

"I broke up with Finn." She couldn't keep it in any longer. "I told him that he wasn't the father."

He drew back to look at her. "Why?" If Quinn wasn't already in love with Ryan, his expression of genuine bewilderment would've done it.

"Because I don't want to be with him," Quinn said, cupping his cheek and pressing her face against his. "I only want to be with you."

Ryan's mouth curled up into a cautious smile, like he was afraid to get his hopes up. "Really?"

"Yes, really," she chuckled, moving her hand up to rake through his hair. She just couldn't stop touching him. "God, you are so cute."

"Is that a good thing?" he asked uncertainly. It didn't seem very manly to be called cute.

"It's a very good thing," said Quinn, tugging him into a kiss by his tie. She moaned into his mouth as the kiss deepened before he pulled back abruptly.

"Does this mean that you're my girlfriend, like officially, I mean?" Ryan asked, blushing at his own inarticulateness.

"If you'll have me. But I should warn you that Finn's probably going to try to beat you up though."

Ryan pursed his lips, considering the possibility, before tossing his head back proudly. "I can deal with Hudson," he declared. "Especially if it means I get to be with you."

"I've missed you," Quinn softly confessed.

"It's only been two days."

"I know but I still missed you," she said, rubbing her nose against his while her hands toyed with his zipper. "I missed you so much."

Ryan moaned as she started to massage his cock through his pants. He managed to remain in control of his faculties long enough to still her hand and ask "Quinn, what about your parents?"

"They're out to brunch at the country club like good little WASPs," she rasped, pulling down his fly, taking his half-erect dick in hand and stroking him to full hardness. "They won't be back for hours."

"Oh."

Giggling, Quinn pressed her lips against his. Kissing was made difficult due to the fact that neither of them could stop smiling.

She needed him inside her now. But her bedroom was upstairs and too far away. She smirked at the wickedly sinful idea that entered her brain. One hand clutching Ryan's tie, the other still wrapped around his penis, Quinn led Ryan into the living room by the dick -literally- and he followed her like an obedient pet that was desperate to please.

Sucking his pouty lower lip into her mouth, Quinn bit it softly, raking her teeth against it before releasing it and pushing Ryan back to sprawl across the couch.

Quinn hated this couch -it was hard, ugly and uncomfortable, clearly purchased for appearance rather than functionality, exactly like everything else in the Fabray's home. Why have something that's comfortable when you could have something else that'll make you look richer?- and would take great pleasure in the defiling it.

Using one hand she tugged her panties down her legs, stepping out of them and kicking them off, uncaring of where they landed. Bracing herself on Ryan's broad chest, Quinn mounted him, shivering in anticipation when she felt his cock brushing against the insides of her thighs.

She couldn't believe that this was finally happening, she was going to make love to Ryan Berry, her boyfriend. Not her one night stand or her fuckbuddy, her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who was looking up at her with such unadulterated adoration it brought tears to her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, gently cupping her face with both hands and wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

"Because I'm happy, Ryan," she answered, nuzzling her face against his palm with a contented sigh. "You make me happy."

"I'm glad." Ryan still could barely believe it. He made Quinn Fabray happy. Him. Not Finn or Puck or any of the other popular kids. Him.

Hiking the bottom of her dress up around her waist, Quinn took Ryan's cock back in hand and guided the head to her entrance. She hissed as she lowered herself down, it didn't hurt like the first time -they'd done it too many times since for that- but she could still feel herself having to stretch around him.

Ryan bit his lip, screwing up his face as he concentrated on not coming at the feeling of being inside Quinn for the first time in two days.

"You okay?" Quinn laughed, smoothing her fingertips across the creases in his brow.

Ryan took a moment to get a hold of himself before nodding shakily for her to continue. "I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Uh-huh."

Quinn started to leisurely rock her hips back and forth, barely lifting herself of him. She wanted this time to be different to all their other rushed couplings.

Ryan groaned, taking hold of hips and helping her move. She leaned down to kiss him tenderly, feeling the slow burn start inside her. They kept their eyes locked as they moved together, neither one of them wanting to break the intense connection that had formed between them.

Eventually it all got too much for Ryan and he could feel that he was about to blow, but being the gentleman that he was, he wanted his lady to come first. He pressed his thumb against her clit -just like he had that first night- and Quinn came undone, the feel of her walls clenching down on him ensured that Ryan followed not long after. The feeling of his hot come spurting inside of her unexpectedly sent Quinn tumbling headlong into a second orgasm.

"You okay?" Ryan asked, cradling her trembling form against him as she recovered.

Quinn moaned softly and buried her face in his neck. "That was..."

"Intense?" he offered, stroking up and down her back.

Quinn nodded, resting her chin on his chest so she could look him in the eyes. God, she loved him.

"You are so beautiful, Quinn," he breathed, awestruck by the sight of her in that moment. "I love you." Ryan knew he probably shouldn't have said it, not after the way that she reacted last time but he just couldn't help himself.

"I-"

"What the hell is going on here!"

Quinn's spine stiffened at sound of her father's outraged bellow. No, this couldn't be happening, they were supposed to be at brunch, they never came home this early -or this sober- when they went for brunch.

The sheer panic Quinn felt in that moment was indescribable. Her parents were home. Ryan was still inside of her, her white cotton panties were hanging off the statue of Jesus on the coffee table, and her parents were not only home but standing in the doorway gaping at her. This had to be a nightmare.

"Daddy."


	9. Chapter 6d

It seemed so absurd that all Quinn could think about in that moment was that her panties that were blasphemously hanging off Jesus for the whole world to see. Maybe her parents hadn't seen them yet, maybe she could run over and grab them before they noticed, although doing so would just bring more attention to them and then they definitely would notice.

"Quinn?" Ryan squeezed her thigh, bring her attention back to him and the horrible situation they were in. He was looking up at her, clearly waiting for her to tell him what to do.

Swallowing hard, Quinn dismounted him rather ungracefully -Sue Sylvester would not have approved-. Squeezing her legs tightly together to try and keep Ryan's seed from dripping down her thighs -Quinn was certain that if she wasn't already pregnant, that load definitely would've done the trick- she did her best to shield him from her parents judgmental eyes as he tucked himself away and fastened his fly and belt.

When Ryan stood up next to her, Quinn immediately plastered herself to his side, locking her arm around his and intertwining their fingers together. "Mom, Dad, this is-"

"I know who he is," her father spat hatefully. Of course he knew who Ryan was; as the son of not only a gay couple but the only interracial couple in town, there were very few people in Lima who didn't know who Ryan Berry was.

"Ryan's my boyfriend," Quinn finished, trying to keep her head held high.

"Boyfriend?" her mother parroted. "What about that nice Finn boy that we were going to have over for dinner?"

"That hardly matter now, Judy," Russell snapped at his wife. Then he turned his attention back to his daughter. "You still haven't answered my question, young lady."

Quinn shrunk in on herself and clung to Ryan's arm, feeling like a child that had been caught with her hand in a cookie jar -although, she supposed, it was more like Ryan had been caught with his hand in her cookie jar...and by hand she meant penis.-

"We weren't doing anything wrong," she said in a soft but resolute voice. All her life, Quinn had been taught that sex was dirty and bad but being with Ryan had made her see that it was neither of those things, it wasn't something to be ashamed of. Sex was beautiful as long as it was with the right person and Ryan was definitely the right person for her.

"Not doing anything wrong," Russell repeated to himself, as if he couldn't believe those words had come out of his little girl's mouth. "You've broken your vow, Quinn! The Chastity Ball is only a few weeks away and you've let yourself be defiled and by a Jew, no less."

Quinn felt Ryan bristle at her father's comment and squeezed his hand, silently cautioning him against saying anything. Ryan may have been in amazing shape but he was still fairly small and her father was a big guy, she didn't even want to think about the damage he could do to her boyfriend if the confrontation turned physical.

Russell shook his head angrily. No, this would not do at all. They'd raised their daughter better than this. Quinn had morals, integrity, she never would've gone against everything that she believed in if that _boy_ hadn't made her.

"Judy, go and get me the telephone," he commanded. Quinn's mother, of course, obeyed without question, disappearing from the room to fetch the phone.

Quinn eyed him cautiously. "Daddy, who are you going to call?"

"The police," Russell said curtly. "Don't worry, sweetheart, we're not going to let this little heathen get away with forcing himself on you."

Ryan scoffed and rolled his eyes at the ridiculous accusation. Quinn was on top of him, how could her parents possibly think that he was forcing her to do anything, the very idea was preposterous and he was sure that the police would see it that way too.

He may not have been worried but Quinn was. She knew that her father had friends in high places, he played golf with the mayor and a bunch of judges every second Friday. If Russell Fabray wanted to make some bogus rape charges against Ryan, they'd stick no matter how untrue they were. "He wasn't forcing himself on me," she tried to deny.

But Russell didn't want to hear it. "How else do you explain what your mother and I walked in on? Quinnie, you're a good girl, I-" He'd rather his daughter be known as a rape victim than a common whore.

"We weren't doing anything wrong!" she reiterated, firmer and louder this time. Her mother should've been back with the phone by now, she realized in the back of her mind. She must've been stalling, trying to give Quinn enough time to change her father's mind, one small silent act of rebellion for the sake of her daughter.

But all rebellions must come to an end and Judy re-entered the room, looking at Quinn with apologetic eyes before handing the telephone to her husband and moving to the bar to fix them both a drink.

"Daddy, please, I love him!" Quinn tearfully pleaded as Russell prepared to dial. It had no effect, Russell pressed down the nine. Quinn knew that there was only one thing she could do. "We're having a baby!"

Russell paled, his arm falling limp against his side, the phone slipping from his fingers and clattering harmlessly against the carpet. He looked at her uncomprehendingly; she couldn't have just said what he'd thought he'd heard, not his little girl.

"What did you just say?" he demanded, advancing on them.

Quinn buried her face in Ryan's shoulder as her father approached them, unable to bear seeing the disappointment in his eyes.

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you," he ordered sternly.

Sniffling, Quinn did as she was told. "I'm pregnant," she confessed. "I'm having Ryan's baby."

Her father flinched, like the words were a physical blow. Suddenly, her daddy didn't look so big and scary anymore; he just looked sad and tired and so very old.

"Quinn, go up to your room."

"You're grounding me?" she squeaked.

Russell shook his head, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. "Go up to your room and pack your things, you have thirty minutes to get out of this house." He didn't even sound angry, just resigned. "I can't even bare to look at you."

"Why, because I'm not a little girl anymore?" Quinn cried. It wasn't like she hadn't seen this coming, she knew that once her father found out she'd be leaving the only home she'd ever known, one way or another. Him giving her time to pack her things was more than she'd been expecting but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

Her father looked up from his feet. "Who are you? I don't recognize you at all." This girl standing in front of him was not his daughter. This wasn't the little girl who fell asleep in his lap at the first baseball game he'd ever taken her to. This was a stranger.

Seeing the devastation on his girlfriend's face, Ryan couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer. "Mrs. Fabray," he addressed the woman who was sitting at the bar and nursing a gin and tonic, knowing that her husband was a lost cause. "I've never had a mother but I was under the impression that they were supposed to protect their children above all else. Are you really going to stand by and let this happen?"

"Don't bother, Ryan," Quinn said, looking resentfully at her mother. "If she wanted to do something she would've when she found out that I was pregnant."

Russell whirled around. "You knew?" he gasped. He couldn't believe this, betrayed by two of the most important women in his life.

"What? I...no," Judy stammered in denial. "She didn't tell me anything."

"But you knew," Quinn sobbed, her voice raw. "And I needed you, I needed my mom and you were so scared of what he would do when he found out that you just pushed it aside, like we do every bad feeling in this house. If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist."

"It doesn't matter now," Russell declared, wishing that they had never done the responsible thing and come home early from the country club before they were to drunk to drive. "It's done. I'm going to set the timer on the microwave. You've got thirty minutes, Quinn."

_Thirty minutes to pack up my entire life,_ Quinn thought as her father walked out of the room, her mother trailing obediently at his heel.

With as much dignity as she could muster, Quinn leaned forward and plucked her panties from Jesus' head and put them back on. Her father may not have snapped yet but she figured that leaving a trail of semen all over his pristine red carpet might just send him over the edge.

"Quinn, I-" Ryan began looking at her with big, sympathetic brown eyes.

"It's not your fault," she assured him, taking his hand again and tugging him towards the stairs. "Come help me pack."

###

_Thank God for Ryan's anal retentive attention to detail,_ Quinn thought, stuffing the last of her dresses into her already over filled Cheerios duffle bag. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have remembered half the things that she needed to take with her. He'd taken charge of collecting everything she needed for school -Quinn may have been pregnant, off the Cheerios and as of now homeless, but she'd be damned if she let her GPA slip- while she sorted out her wardrobe and he'd already stopped her from wasting space on clothes that weren't even going to fit her in a few weeks time and, mortifyingly, he had to remind her to pack her underwear. Not that it mattered so much about her bras, she knew that she was very soon going to need to buy new ones, she'd already gone up half a cup size.

"I think that's everything," Quinn sighed, pulling the zipper closed on her bag and taking one last look around the room that had been hers since the day she was born. It was hard to believe that she was never going to spend another night in her bed.

"This is probably a stupid question," Ryan said, taking her into his arms. "But are you okay?"

"I don't know," Quinn answered honestly, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Right now I just feel numb. How long have we got left?"

She felt him move his arm from her back to look at his watch. "Four minutes and twenty nine seconds."

Quinn chuckled silently at him and started playing with his tie. "I meant it, you know," she said softly.

"Meant what?"

"That I love you."

One of Ryan's hands came up to cradle the back of her head as he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. "I love you, too."

Curling her fingers into his shirt, Quinn pulled back. "We'd better get downstairs before my dad comes up to get us," she said, wiping away the single tear that had spilled down her cheek. She couldn't imagine how badly her father would react to finding her in Ryan's arms in her bedroom.

Quinn reached for the handle of her duffle bag but Ryan got to it first. "I've got it," he said, lifting it easily. He already had the backpack containing her laptop and school books slung over his shoulder, apparently he was determined not to let his pregnant girlfriend do any heavy lifting.

They were on the way out the door when Quinn realized that she was leaving behind something very important. "Wait."

She dashed over to her desk and started rifling through the drawers for disk she had hidden away. Ryan watched with raised eyebrows as her search became more frantic.

_Where is it? I know that it's in here, I put it back after I watched it last night._ When her hand closed around the disk that had been jammed up the back of the top drawer, Quinn almost fainted in relief. There was no way in hell that she was going to leave her copy of their baby's first sonogram behind.

"Have you got everything now?" Ryan asked, watching her closely.

Quinn nodded, taking his free hand to lead him downstairs. She knew it was rather pathetic but the only time she felt safe was when she was touching him.

Downstairs, Quinn's mother was nowhere to be found. Quinn wasn't surprised, her mom had never been good with goodbyes. She heard the sound of the tv coming from the den.

Her father was inside, watching the Indians game. Any other day, Quinn would just gone in and joined him, curling up next to him and talking stats and batting averages. But not today.

She froze in the doorway, shifting nervously from foot to foot, she was actually too afraid to cross the threshold. "Daddy, I'm going now."

Russell didn't even turn to look at her. "Leave your keys in the bowl by the door."

Quinn swallowed back a sob at how easily he dismissed her and pulled her keys out of the pocket of her cardigan. Her house keys, car keys; she knew that she couldn't keep them. Keys to the room they held Christ Crusader meetings in at church; if she didn't give them back, Quinn was fairly certain Father Thomas would send someone to pry them out of her hands once he found out about this. She briefly considered keeping her keychain -her mother had it specially made for her when she'd made head Cheerio, with two golden charms, a cross and pom poms, hanging off the ring- but she wasn't that girl anymore, she had no right to keep it.

She squeezed her fist closed around the keys, barely feeling the metal cutting into her skin. "Goodbye, Daddy."

This time she got no acknowledgement at all.

###

"This is the spare room," Ryan said, stopping outside the closed door next to his own bedroom.

"I'm not going to be staying in with you?" Quinn asked, she'd just assumed that she'd be sleeping in Ryan's bed.

"You can if you want to, you're welcome in my room at any time, Quinn," Ryan was quick to assure her. "But I thought that you'd like to have your own space. It's not easy to adjust to living with someone."

He pushed the door open and set her bags down on the end of the bed. As soon as his hands were free, Quinn hugged him, sagging against his chest. It had been such a long, life changing day, it was hard to believe it was only three in the afternoon.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"Relieved, mostly. I've been living with all these secrets for so long, so terrified of what would happen when everyone found out the truth. But now it's all out in the open, it's a relief. I mean, I'm scared about what's going to happen on Monday when we go back to school, how Finn and the other's are going to react but...I feel good. Better than I have in a long time actually," she admitted honestly. Free from the gilded cage that was her family's expectations for her for the first time, Quinn felt like she could do anything. She didn't have to follow the plan that her parents had set out for her since before she'd even been born. It was exhilarating and daunting.

"Do you want to talk about, you know, your dad?" Ryan offered awkwardly.

"Not particularly, not right now anyway." Quinn lifted her head from his chest and pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. She sighed and took in her surroundings, the room was nice, the only objects in the room were a double bed, a chest of drawers, a small closet and... "Is that a sword?"

"Oh yeah, it's a rapier, actually." Ryan released her to go and pick up the sword that had been propped up in the corner. "It's part of my costume for Renaissance Club."

"You're in the Renaissance Club?"

Ryan nodded proudly. "And the Chess Club, Student UN, Black Students Union, Horticulture Club. I'm the most involved student in the school." Well, almost, damn that Jacob Ben Israel. Ryan only needed one more extracurricular activity to beat him. "Of course I will be quitting them all after the yearbook pictures to spend more time with you."

Quinn shook her head, he was already doing enough for her, she didn't want him to give up anything else. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to," he said firmly. "I'm only in all those clubs because it'll look good on my college applications. The only one I really care about is Glee and I have no intention of quitting that. Anyway, I should go and put this away and get changed. Give you some time to settle in...unless you don't want to be alone?"

Quinn smiled fondly at him. "I think I can manage by myself for ten minutes."

"Right." Ryan blushed bashfully, kissing her on the cheek before running off to put his sword away.

Sighing, Quinn flopped down onto the bed. She moaned as she sunk into the soft mattress. Her father always insisted that she had a firm mattress, claiming that a soft mattress lead to a weak spine.

It was hard to believe that in one day she had lost a boyfriend, gained a boyfriend, been caught having sex with said boyfriend by her parents, told them that she was pregnant, been disowned and kicked out of the only home she'd ever known and, oh yeah, met her boyfriend's fathers who absolutely hated her.

Because Quinn apparently had the worst luck in the entire universe, both of Ryan's parents were home when their son had walked through the door, pregnant girl and her luggage in tow. They'd demanded an explanation and Ryan had given them one in his usual tactless way, leaving nothing out -not even the parts where Quinn had pretended that it was Finn's baby, which was rather mortifying-. After that both men looked at Quinn like she was the Devil incarnate and Ryan's very Jewish father, Hiram, kept calling her a Shiksa -Quinn didn't know what that meant but if she had to guess it was something along the lines of 'evil whore that's ruining my son's life'- as he ranted about how stupid and irresponsible they both were.

It was when Hiram started demanding they do a paternity test before they allowed Quinn to stay there, that Ryan put his foot down -seriously, he'd stamped his foot- and told his fathers that he understood that they weren't happy about the situation but he'd appreciate their support.

Then Leroy, Ryan's other father who'd be quiet up until that point, stood up and hugged his son -glaring at Quinn over Ryan's shoulder- while telling him that they'd always support him even if they didn't agree with the choices that he made and that of course Quinn could stay with them. Hiram had looked like he was about to argue but one look from his husband had him snapping his mouth shut.

Of course, then Leroy had started on the guilt trip, saying that they'd drilled into Ryan's head the importance of safe sex. Quinn had been about to own up to the fact that it was her fault but Ryan beat her to it, he lied to his fathers -probably for the first time ever- and told them that they'd used a condom but it broke, adding that he'd already written a strongly worded letter to the manufacturers.

Quinn didn't like that he was lying to his fathers because of her and she could already tell that it was going to be unbearably awkward living with them, but where else could she go? Obviously, Finn's was out of the question and she didn't even want to think about the nightmare that staying with Santana would be -they were barely able to make it through sleepovers without killing each other-. Brittany's was always a possibility but that would only ever be a temporary solution.

She glanced at her watch, five minutes had passed since Ryan had left, it wouldn't be pathetically clingy of her to go to him now, would it?

With some difficulty, Quinn struggled up into a sitting position. She envied her younger self for not understanding how lucky she was to have the ability to just spring up out of bed.

She padded down the hall to Ryan's room, finding that he'd already changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tight grey t-shirt. She wasn't going to lie, she was a little disappointed that he wasn't still wearing the suit that he was currently folding.

"Hey," he said when he looked up and noticed her in the doorway.

"Hey." As she moved to sit on the bed, a stack of baby books sitting on his bedside table caught her eye, all of them had multicolored post-its sticking out from the pages. He hadn't just been reading them, he'd been studying them.

"I like to be prepared," Ryan said sheepishly, once he realized what she was looking at.

Quinn didn't know how she ever could have thought she was doing the right thing by denying this boy his paternal rights. She grabbed his hand, pulling him down to lay next to her on the bed and cuddling up against his side. "You're so perfect."

Ryan scoffed. "No, I'm not."

"You are for me." He shouldn't have been, they both knew that. Finn should have been her perfect man, not Ryan. They shouldn't have worked but they did. "But I think I should find somewhere else to stay."

"You don't want to live with me?" Ryan asked, sounding hurt.

"No, I do," Quinn assured him, smoothing her hand up and down his stomach, feeling the soft bumps of his defined abs. She wondered if it would be insensitive of her to ask him to take his shirt off while they had this conversation. "It's just...your dad's hate me-"

Ryan cut her off, tightening his arm around her waist. "They don't hate you. They're just...caught off-guard by all this. I don't think that they'd ever imagined that they'd have to deal with this with me as their son."

"Still. I don't want to make them uncomfortable."

"They'll adjust. Besides, they're only here on the weekends, anyway," he said, like it was totally normal. "So-"

"Wait." Quinn lifted her head from his chest to look at him. "Why are they only here on the weekends? Where are they during the week?"

"Cincinnati, they have an apartment there."

"And why do they have an apartment there?" Quinn prompted when he didn't elaborate any further.

"Because that's where they work and it doesn't make sense for them both to be making five hour round trips every day when I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"But why don't they just get jobs in Lima?"

Ryan smiled sadly, Quinn had no idea of how intolerant Lima truly was. "Well, nobody in town would hire my father once they found out that he was gay. My dad tried to make it work here but after his store was burned down for the second time he decided it was best to cut his losses and relocate somewhere bigger, more accepting."

"They burned down his store?" Quinn couldn't believe it.

"I guess they got tired of throwing rocks through the windows and spray painting 'fag' on the door," Ryan said ruefully. Apparently the fact that his family was the target of this kind of bigotry was coming as a shock to his girlfriend. It was partly his fault, he supposed, he was always telling anyone who'd listen how great it was having two gay dads. And it wasn't like he was lying, his dads were great, they doted on him, spoiled him a lot more than they probably should, it was other people that were the problem. It was the hateful homophobes who felt the need to lash out against things that they didn't understand and, even worse than them, it was the ones with good intentions thinking that they were doing him a favor by calling Child Protective Services because he was a boy and his dad's were gay so they'd have to be molesting him. He had a penis after all, how could they resist? Thankfully, once he'd passed puberty, the calls to CPS had died off.

"I can't believe that people would do that."

Ryan didn't have the heart to tell Quinn that she probably knew some of the culprits from her church. From the way she felt him shrug beneath her, Quinn guessed that Ryan didn't want to talk about it any further and changed the topic.

"So during the week it's just going to be you and me? Alone?" she asked, marveling at the foreign concept. Her parents didn't trust her to stay home alone even when they only went away for a weekend; they either took her with them or forced her to stay with a friend.

"Yes."

Apparently the baby liked this idea just as much as Quinn did, because the flutters started up again. Quinn gasped sharply and grabbed Ryan's hand to place it flat against her belly.

"Quinn what's-" he began, alarmed, before he felt it too. His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to figure out what he was feeling. "Is that?" he whispered, awestruck.

"It's our daughter, Ryan."

He beamed at her, wider than she'd ever seen him smile before. "Our daughter," he repeated, moving down her body until his cheek was pressed against her stomach, where his hand had been.

Smiling softly, Quinn began raking her fingers through his hair as he caressed the spot that was seeing the most activity. She closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy the moment.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey," Ryan started singing quietly, bringing anguished tears to Quinn's eyes. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you-"

"You know that this doesn't change anything," she felt the need to remind him and herself. "We're still not keeping her."

Ryan sighed and looked up at her sadly. "I know. But that doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to love her...It doesn't mean that you aren't either."

Quinn smiled weakly. "I know." _Yes, it really does._


	10. Chapter 6e

The weekend had been a decidedly awkward affair with Quinn hiding away in Ryan's room for the majority of it in an effort to avoid his fathers and their judgemental looks.

It had gotten a little better when Leroy had taken her aside and told her that they didn't hate her -at least he didn't, Hiram would take a little more time to come around.- they were just understandably worried about how all this was going to affect Ryan's future. He'd been infinitely relieved when Quinn assured him that she complete agreed with their concerns and that they wouldn't be keeping the baby.

"Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this?" Ryan asked as they approached the main doors to McKinley High, hand in hand.

"I'm sure, just stay with me," Quinn replied, tightening her grip on his hand. It was Monday and they were about to face their final challenge; coming out as a couple to the entire school, and she didn't know if she had the strength to do it without him by her side.

The bewildered looks they got from the students they passed by as they walked to Quinn's locker to collect her books -which Ryan then dutifully carried for her, of course- were priceless and a far cry from the looks of scorn and disgust that Quinn had been expecting. To be honest it was a relief, but Quinn knew that they weren't out of the woods just yet and their friends would be having a much different reaction.

They were at Ryan's locker, he'd just opened it to get his things out when he spotted Karofsky and Azimio heading in their direction. He took a step away from Quinn, so she wouldn't get caught in the crossfire, and squeezed his eyes shut in expectation of his regular morning slushie facial. He was very confused when it never came.

"Relax, kid," he heard Azimio say. Ryan cautiously opened his eyes. "We ain't going to hurt you. We just wanted to shake the hand of the man that managed to get past Quinn Fabray's chastity belt."

"Yeah, we knew that Hudson wasn't man enough to knock her up," Karofsky added as they both extended their hands towards Ryan. "You must be cooler than we thought."

Ryan opened his mouth, intending to defend Quinn's honor, but quickly snapped it shut again when he felt Quinn's elbow dig into his ribs. He looked to her, frowning in confusion when she jerked her head towards the two jocks, clearly indicating that he should shake their hands.

So he did, trying to not grimace at the feel of their sweaty palms touching his. "Thank you?"

Azimio smirked and nodded at him, then turned to Quinn. "Listen, Fabray, sorry about the whole slushie shower thing," he apologized, looking genuinely contrite. "You know it was totally about Hudson and not you but still, we know it wasn't cool to slushie a pregnant chick. It won't happen again."

Karofsky nodded in agreement and Quinn realized that these guys weren't monsters, just assholes. "Thanks, I appreciate that."

"It's cool." Azimio shrugged, it wasn't that big of a deal. There were plenty of other losers in the school more deserving of their 'special attention' than Fabray and Berry. Speaking of which... "Anyways, we gotta go toss Hummel in a dumpster. Respect, Berry," he said, holding his fist out for Ryan to bump.

Ryan just stared at it in confusion until Quinn grabbed his hand, curled it into a fist and bumped it against Azimio's and then Karofsky's.

"What was that about?" Ryan asked, dumbfounded, once his former tormentors had departed.

Quinn looked around the hall, a smirk appearing on her face as she surveyed the now cautiously approving looks on their peers' faces. As their former ruler, she had developed a highly tuned ability to read public opinion that being dethroned hadn't diminished.

Finn had been the star quarterback, the most popular boy in school, getting Quinn pregnant had changed that, dragging him down the social totem pole; even being the captain of the football team hadn't stopped him from falling below the puckheads on the hockey team. But now it seemed to be having the opposite effect on Ryan. It made a sick sort of sense, she supposed. In their eyes, someone they all considered to be one of the biggest geeks in the school had not only managed to steal the head cheerleader away from her equally popular boyfriend but got her to betray her vow of chastity and get her pregnant; that's got to have them all reassessing their view of him.

"I'm not sure yet," she said slowly, not wanting to get Ryan's hopes up. "But I have a feeling that today is going to be very interesting."

###

"Jesus, Q, you're eating for two, not six," Santana sneered as she cut in next to Quinn in the lunch line, ignoring the disgruntled complaints for the teenagers behind her.

Quinn just sighed and continued to pile tater tots onto her plate. She'd been doing so well at avoiding her fellow glee clubbers all day and it just had to be her luck that Ryan had disappeared, claiming that there was something really important that he had to take care of, only minutes earlier leaving her to fend for herself against Santana.

Paying for her lunch, Quinn headed for the nearest empty table, hoping that Santana would take the hint that she did not feel like talking to her and leave her alone.

Unfortunately, Santana had never had much consideration for Quinn's feelings and followed her to her seat. "So Berry's packing, right?" she asked casually, as though she was asking if the sky was blue.

Quinn nearly dropped her tray. "Excuse me?"

"Is he hung?" Santana said slowly, drawing out each word. "Britt and I have a bet going on about it. She thinks he's just small all over because he's so short but I've seen that boy's feet and hands, they're huge."

Quinn just gaped at her. "I am not going to talk to you about my boyfriend's _thing_," she hissed, the tips of her ears turning red.

"Thing?" Santana chuckled, she'd always found Quinn's prudishness so amusing. The only reason she ever went to those stupid Christ Crusader meetings was to laugh at her and her ridiculously old fashioned beliefs. "It's a penis. A dick. A cock. A -"

"Santana, shut up!" Quinn growled. Did she not realize that other people could hear her right now? By now Quinn's red ears had turned into a full body blush. "I know what it is, alright. For God's sake."

Santana smirked. "Oh, I'm sure you're very familiar with it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you aren't fooling anyone with your little innocent, blushing, almost a virgin act. Not when you're coming into class every day with JBF hair and blowjob lips."

"JBF hair?"

"Really, Q, are you Amish or something? Just Been Fucked hair," she explained, impatiently. "Now back to Berry's _thing_, how big is it when he's hard?"

"I don't know," said Quinn, shifting uncomfortably in her seat and giving serious thought to just abandoning her lunch and making a run for it. She may have loved having sex but that didn't mean that she liked to talk about it. "Big."

"Yeah, okay, Virgin Mary, sorry if I don't take your word for it. I need specifics. Is it five inches? Six?"

"How would I know?" Quinn grimaced. "It's not like we've measured it."

"Maybe you haven't," Santana mumbled to herself. Ryan Berry may have been a total freak but she knew for a fact that there wasn't a teenage boy alive that hadn't held his dick up against a ruler at least once. _Time to break out the visual aids,_ she thought, snatching the plastic knife from Quinn's tray and holding it up to establish a precedent. "Is it this long?"

"Longer," Quinn muttered, realizing that the only way to get Santana to go away was to give her what she wanted.

Santana raised an eyebrow. "How much longer?"

Blushing furiously, Quinn grabbed the knife back from her former squad mate and used her hands to indicate Ryan's length.

"Seven inches," Santana estimated, sounding impressed. "Nice. And he's Jewish so I'm assuming it's cut. What about girth? He doesn't have one of those skinny pencil dicks, does he? Because those are gross, Billy Myer has one and-"

Quinn slammed her palms down on the table. "Go away, Santana! I've told you everything you need to know."

Santana rolled her eyes again -she was glad that she didn't have to spend much time with Quinn anymore now that she wasn't on the Cheerios, otherwise she might develop permanent eye strain or something.- and stood up, poaching a tot from Quinn's plate as she did. She popped it in her mouth and grinned at Quinn's look of murderous outrage.

"I just want to say, for the record, I'm glad that your spawn isn't Finn's. Otherwise you'd be pregnant forever since that kid would be too dumb to even find it's way outta your uterus. At least Berry's got brains."

Coming from Santana, Quinn knew that it was the closest she was ever going to get to her seal of approval.

###

That afternoon Quinn and Ryan approached the choir room with trepidation. They'd managed to successfully avoid Finn for the entire day, Quinn had even skipped Spanish to escape a confrontation with him but in Glee there'd be no way to avoid it. A fight would be inevitable.

"Maybe it would be better if we skipped Glee today," Quinn suggested, tugging Ryan to a stop. "I mean, it's not like we're going to miss anything important."

Ryan smiled gently, settling his hands on her hips and resting his forehead against hers. "Quinn, ignoring the problem isn't going to make it go away," he all but whispered. "We need to confront this head on."

That was easy for him to say, he didn't know that after Quinn had broken up with him, Finn had gone around to Puck's house and punched him in the face, still believing him to be the baby's father. Now Puck was sporting a wicked black eye and if Finn could do that to his _best friend_, she was terrified by what he would do to Ryan.

"Come on," Ryan urged, sliding his arm around her waist to guide her towards their fate. "This is it, the one last thing we need to do before we can move past all this."

He was right. Facing up to the glee club and Finn was their final hurdle, after that they'd be free. "Yeah, no point in waiting, I guess." If it didn't happen today, it would happen tomorrow.

They were ten minutes early to practice -Ryan always liked to be the first one there so he could warm up properly- so they'd been expecting the choir room to be empty. They certainly hadn't anticipated that they'd be the last ones to arrive.

A hush fell over the entire glee club, obviously they'd been talking about them. Kurt and Mercedes immediately moved closer together and began munching on a bag of popcorn Mercedes had apparently produced out of thin air, while Santana and Brittany whipped their phones out, determined not to let Sue Sylvester down by not recording a second of the drama that was sure to follow.

"Him!" Finn shouted, springing up from his seat and kicking the chair away. "Out of all the guys in the school that you could have cheated on me with you chose this loser?"

"He's not a loser!" Quinn spat back defensively. She made sure to position herself in between Ryan and Finn's overgrown body. Finn may have been in a rage but she was about seventy percent sure that he wouldn't try to push past a pregnant girl.

"Quinn, it's Ryan Berry!"

"I know who he is! And my boyfriend is not a loser, he's ten times the man that you'll ever be."

"He broke the bro code!" Finn yelled petulantly, tears welling in his eyes. "You were mine and he stole you from me."

"While I disagree with the way that you are acting as though Quinn is nothing but a piece of property, incapable of controlling her own actions and making her own decisions," Ryan said calmly, stepping around Quinn until he was standing nose to nose -or well, more like nose to chin- with Finn. "I do understand that I committed a grievous social error, or as you refer to it broke the bro code, by conducting an affair with her behind your back and for that I apologize. As retribution you may, if you wish, hit me. If you could please just try to avoid my nose."

Of course, Finn being the mature, level headed, rational young adult that he was, he immediately pulled his fist back and popped Ryan straight in the nose.

"Finn!" Quinn shrieked, launching herself at him and pounding her fists against the manchild's chest as hard as she could. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Quinn, that's enough!" Mr Schuester said firmly, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her her off his golden boy who was cowering pathetically under her wrath.

"Enough? Now it's enough? It wasn't enough before Finn punched Ryan in the nose?" Quinn raged, violently shrugging her useless teachers hands off her. She glared at him for a moment before turning around and going to check on Ryan who was leaning back against the piano, his head tilted back as he cupped his nose to try and stop the blood that was dribbling down his chin.

"Oh baby," she cooed, gingerly caressing his face. "Look what he did to you."

Kurt, Mercedes, Artie and Tina all turned to each other and mouthed "Baby?" in unison. This was not the Quinn Fabray that they all knew and lo...well, knew.

"Quinn, maybe you should take Ryan to see the nurse," Schuester suggested, hugging a sobbing Finn.

Quinn just rolled her eyes at the display. _Really? REALLY!_ "That's probably the most useful idea you've had all day."

###

Quinn still couldn't believe that Finn had actually hit Ryan in the nose when Ryan had specifically asked him not to. She knew that he was hurting and all but that was just plain childish.

They were in the nurses office -not that she'd been much help, she'd just stuffed cotton balls up Ryan's nose to keep it from bleeding everywhere and told them to put some ice on it before disappearing- and Quinn was perched precariously on Ryan's knee, his arm around her waist held her steady as she held an ice pack to his face. Quinn sighed and pulled back the ice pack to inspect his injured nose.

"Am I horribly disfigured?" Ryan asked, looking up at her with sad puppy eyes.

_How could anybody want to hit him? Finn is such an ass._ "Not anymore than you were before," she teased, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand, careful to avoid the more tender areas of his face. "I think that it's okay, only a little swollen, definitely not broken."

Ryan sniffed as pulled the cotton plugs from his nostrils and gave his nose an experimental wiggle. Quinn couldn't help but giggle at the adorable sight. He looked like Samantha from Bewitched.

"Good," he announced, pleased with the result. There'd only been a minor twinge of pain, he imagined if there was any serious damage it would've hurt a lot more. "I'd hate for this to ruin our plans for this evening. Still, I think I should schedule an appointment with Dr. Zammet for tomorrow just in case; he's my ear, nose and throat specialist."

"Wait, we have plans for tonight?" Quinn asked. This was the first she was hearing of them.

"Yes, I thought that if since we're going to be living together I really should take you out on at least one date. But only if you feel up to it, this has been a very stressful day for you. I'll understand if-"

"Shhh, I'm not the one that got punched in the face," she reminded him. "Is this why you disappeared during lunch? You were setting up our date?"

Ryan nodded and looked away bashfully. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

Quinn smiled lovingly at him and leaned in to gently peck him on the lips. "Like I said, you're perfect."

"So that's a yes to the date then?"

"Yes, that's a yes."


	11. Chapter 6f

Once Quinn was satisfied that Ryan's nose wasn't going to swell up anymore, they decided it would probably be best if they skipped the rest of Glee -to give Finn some time to cool down and for the rest of them to get over themselves- and just head home early.

Ryan was determined that their first date be as traditional as possible given the circumstances, so when they arrived back at the Berry house they both retired to their separate bedrooms to get ready.

Quinn couldn't remember ever being so excited and nervous about a date before. There was a small part of her that was worried that they may not be compatible as a couple and, without the added excitement of sneaking around behind Finn's back, their relationship might fizzle out before it really began which was the last thing she wanted to happen, and this date would be the first test of that.

At 5pm on the dot, Ryan appeared in Quinn's doorway -looking so ridiculously handsome in his black suit and tie that Quinn was tempted to just say screw the date and throw him down on the bed instead- and holding a single red rose.

They hadn't even left the house and it was already better than any date Finn had ever taken her on. Not that that bar was set particularly high.

"Um, Ryan, aren't you going the wrong way?" Quinn asked as they drove passed the street that they would've needed to turn into to get into the Breadstix parking lot.

"Nope," Ryan said with a mysterious smile.

"We aren't going to Breadstix?"

Ryan briefly took his eyes off the road to look at her with an incredulous expression on his face. "Do you really think I'm the kind of guy that would take you to Breadstix on a first date?"

"No. You really aren't, are you," Quinn replied with a fond smile. She didn't know what she'd been thinking, Ryan wasn't like Finn or Puck or any of the other stupid boys in their high school who all seemed to think that Breadstix was the height of high class romantic dining. He was Ryan Berry; dramatic, romantic, completely over the top, Ryan Berry. Of course he'd be taking her somewhere better than freaking Breadstix on their first official date.

"So where are we going? The Olive Garden?" It wasn't like Lima was overflowing with restaurant choices. It really only had Breadstix, the Olive Garden, a Chinese place called The Golden Dragon, a McDonalds and a Pizza Hut. They didn't even have a KFC, for crying out loud.

"It's a surprise. Trust me, you'll love it."

#

And trust him she did, not even questioning him as they left Lima completely and ended up travelling up the I-75 into Toledo.

As soon as the car was parked, Ryan was out and opening Quinn's door for her before she'd even had a chance to undo her seatbelt. He helped her out of the car and escorted her across the parking lot to a rather nondescript looking building.

There was a brass plaque near the door that said The Red Room. Obviously this was a real hole in the wall kind of place and Quinn wondered how on Earth Ryan had even found it.

They descended the short staircase that lead to the restaurant. The well stocked bar was the first thing that caught Quinn's eye, then the small stage up the back, past the dining area. The walls were painted a deep red -hence the name, Quinn supposed- and tastefully covered in what looked like assorted musical memorabilia. The atmosphere was cozy but classy, Quinn immediately decided that she liked it and she hadn't even tasted the food yet.

An older, sharply dressed, African American gentleman who was sitting at the bar and nursing a glass of what looked like scotch looked up and, when he noticed them standing in the doorway, his face lit up in recognition.

"Ryan!"

"Uncle Jim," Ryan greeted the man warmly as he was pulled into a hug.

_Uncle Jim? _Quinn couldn't believe that her boyfriend hadn't warned her that he was going to be introducing her to his extended family and given her a chance to prepare. It was bad enough that she'd completely blown her first meeting with his parents.

"Have you gotten taller?" Jim teased, patting the top of Ryan's head.

Ryan swatted his hands away and rolled his eyes in mock annoyance as he fixed his hair. "Yes, I have grown exactly one quarter of an inch since I saw you last."

"Give it time, kid, a few more growth spurts and soon you'll be as tall as your dads."

"I highly doubt that." Ryan pouted, it wasn't that he was dissatisfied with his current -perfectly average!- height, it's just that it could get a little tedious being towered over by his fathers, who were both over -by four inches in Hiram's case- six feet tall. If he wasn't absolutely sure that his fathers would never take that kind of gamble with the genetic lottery, he'd have to wonder if his birth mother was in fact some kind of dwarf.

Jim chuckled and shook his head in amusement then turned his attention to Quinn. "And you must be the girl Ryan was telling me about. Now let me tell you, he gushed about you, but you're even more beautiful than he described."

Quinn could feel herself blush furiously. "Thank you," she said, shyly. "I'm Quinn, it's nice to meet you." Even if she was completely unprepared for it.

Jim took the hand she was offering and kissed the back of it. "The pleasure is all mine. The name's James, James Wallace but you can call me Jim, and this is my fine establishment. Now follow me and I'll show you to your table."

"You're here early," he said, as he led them through the sea of empty tables to the one near the stage that Ryan had specifically requested. "We usually don't get busy 'til just before eight, that's when the band comes on."

When they reached their table, Ryan was quick to pull Quinn's chair out for her.

"Marry her," Jim mouthed at him, over the top of Quinn's head.

Ryan smirked at him and shook his head in amusement, as if he needed any encouragement.

"Alright, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone now. A waitress will be with you any minute," Jim said, once they were both seated. "And if you need anything, I'll be at the bar."

"Thanks, Uncle Jim."

"For future reference, a little heads up before meeting any more members of your family would be nice," Quinn said, not unkindly, once she was sure that the older man was out of earshot.

"Oh, he's not really my uncle. He's my dad's best friend, they were in a moderately successful four piece jazz band together during the eighties."

"Leroy was in a band?"

"No, Hiram, he played guitar and sang and Uncle Jim played the double bass. They called themselves The Fourtunes," he explained, rolling his eyes at the terrible pun. "They put out some albums and toured around the country, just playing at jazz venues and college campuses, nothing huge. But that's actually how my dad's met."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Leroy was doing his postgrad degree at Yale when The Fourtunes played there, he ended up skipping a whole week of classes to follow them around Connecticut. He'd been to four of their shows before Hiram finally noticed him and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Wow, so Leroy was a groupie?" Out of all the ways Quinn could've imagined that Ryan's parents met, that certainly wasn't one that would've sprang to mind.

Ryan chuckled. "Pretty much, although he prefers hopeless romantic."

"And Yale, huh? That's pretty impressive."

"Yeah, and Dad went to Dartmouth. They're bitterly disappointed that I will not be continuing their Ivy League legacy although they try not to show it."

Personally, Ryan couldn't be more relieved. Although his parents weren't the biggest sports fans in general, they always made time for their former alma maters and whenever the Big Green played the Bulldogs, the rivalry that went down in the Berry household was epic. He couldn't imagine the fights they'd get into if it came down to him having to chose which of the two colleges he'd be matriculating at.

They were interrupted by the waitress, who gave them their menus and took their drink orders.

"My parents met at church," Quinn said casually, picking up her menu. "I think that their parents must have set them up."

Ryan wasn't sure how to react to that, it was the first time Quinn had mentioned her parents since the day they kicked her out. The last thing he wanted to do was press the issue and make her cry on their first date, so he decided to change the subject entirely.

"Quinn?"

"Hmmm?" Quinn looked from her menu, devoting her attention to her serious sounding boyfriend.

"I know that this isn't exactly an appropriate topic of conversation for a first date but I feel like it's something that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later."

Okay, now Quinn was starting to worry and Ryan must've picked up on it because he immediately became apologetic.

"Oh, no, it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing," he assured her, reaching across the table to take her hand. "It's just that I know that money has been a considerable source of stress for you these past couple of months and I just wanted to make sure that you knew that you don't have to worry about it anymore. If you need money for anything; food, clothes, books, vitamins, doctor's bills, whatever, just let me know, okay? It'll be taken care of."

"Ryan, that's sweet, but I can't let you waste all your savings on me-"

"It's for you and our baby, it wouldn't be a waste," he insisted. "Besides it wouldn't be my savings that I'm spending. I've already talked to my dads and they're willing to pay for everything and they're looking into getting you covered on our health insurance, so that'll help cut down on costs."

He held up a hand when it looked like Quinn was about to protest. "They can more than afford it and they want to help. Quinn, please, just let us take care of you."

Quinn could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She'd spent so much time taking care of herself that she'd never been good at accepting help from others when it was offered to her, which admittedly wasn't all that often, but she knew that this time she had to swallow her pride and accept it. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for wanting to take care of you, Quinn. I love you."

"I love you, too." She sniffled, using her free hand to wipe the happy tears from the corners of her eyes.

Ryan grinned at her and picked up his own menu. "Now feel free to order what ever you want, Uncle Jim has already assured me that our meal will be on the house."

#

Quinn was relieved to quickly discover that whatever concerns she may have had about their compatibility had been completely unfounded. Their date had gone splendidly, the food had been to die for, they had easily conversed about a multitude of topics and, once the house band had started up, they'd actually gotten up and slow danced and Ryan hadn't once stepped on her toes.

But the highlight of the evening had undoubtedly been when Ryan had made Quinn the envy of every woman in the room when he'd joined the band up on stage and serenaded her with a mash-up he'd created of Frankie Valli and The Four Season's _My Eyes Adored You_ and _I Can't Take My Eyes Off You_.

As far as Quinn was concerned there was only one thing that could possibly make the night any better.

Ryan, being the old fashioned gentleman that he was, insisted on ending the night by walking her to 'her' door.

"I had a really good time tonight," said Quinn, playing along as they paused outside the door to her bedroom.

"Me too. It was definitely the best date I've ever been on."

"Have you ever been on any other dates?" Quinn wasn't asking to be mean, she was genuinely curious to know how many other girls had dated her boyfriend.

"Yes. One," he admitted. "With Esther Hirschfeld."

"Doesn't she have a unibrow?" Quinn knew that looks weren't everything but she just couldn't imagine what he may have seen in her.

Ryan nodded. "Our parents set us up, I took her to the carnival and she ate so many corn dogs that she ended up vomiting into my lap on the ferris wheel."

Quinn shuddered in disgust at the thought. "Oh, I'm so glad I managed to rank above that experience."

"Well, barely," he teased with a wide smile. Quinn laughed and smacked him on the arm. He caught her hand and pulled her close. He cupped her cheek and leaned into to tenderly kiss her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she whispered back, making the logical conclusion that they would be moving the party into Ryan's bedroom. She certainly wasn't expecting him to smile, give her a wink and a final peck on her lips, then turn to leave. "Wait, that's it?"

Ryan stopped and turned back to her, his lips curled into a playful smirk that let her know he was only teasing. "Well, Quinn, I just didn't think you were the kind of girl to do anything more than kiss on the first date. I mean, you were the president of the celibacy club, after all."

Quinn bit her lip in amusement, deciding to play along. "I'm not," she said, laying her hands on his chest and subtly urging him back towards the open door to his bedroom. "But in your case I think I can make an exception."

"I guess that makes me lucky then, doesn't it," said Ryan, allowing himself to be pushed along. He automatically reached out and hit the light switch as they moved through the doorway.

"It does."

"I am, you know," Ryan said, suddenly serious. "Lucky to have you."

Quinn found herself speechless, she wanted to say that she was the lucky one by the words just wouldn't come out. Instead she grabbed him around the back of his neck and attacked him with her lips.

She undressed him quickly after that, pushing his jacket back off his shoulders then tugged his shirt open sending buttons flying. Ryan took a much slower approach as he eased her blue cardigan down her arms.

As she fumbled with unbuckling his belt, Quinn couldn't help but feel that this was how their first time should have happened; after a romantic date when they were in love, not a drunken one night stand. But if it hadn't have been for that drunken one night stand then none of this would be happening; she'd still be faking happiness with Finn, while secretly and reluctantly crushing on Ryan Berry, and their baby wouldn't exist.

Quickly undoing his fly, Quinn dropped to her knees as she pulled his pants down, she mouthed at his straining cock through the soft fabric of his boxer briefs leaving wet patches on the grey material before tugging them down too.

She had been planning on doing more than that but Ryan had other ideas. He pulled her back up and kicked off his pants as he urged her to lay back on the bed.

He made a quick pitstop to remove his socks, because really wearing socks and nothing else while having sex was creepy, and then made his way up the bed, grabbing the hem of Quinn's dress, intending on bringing it up with him.

"Wait." Quinn covered Ryan's hands that were pushing her dress up her thighs with her own.

"What's wrong?" he asked, instantly concerned.

"It's just that, I-I...I don't look like I used to anymore. I'm fat and my breasts are bigger and there's stretch marks and I just...maybe we could just leave it on?" Quinn finished, her eyes darting around the room, resting on anything but her boyfriend, and her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She knew that she was being slightly ridiculous; she was pregnant, not fat, and what kind of guy would be turned off by bigger boobs? But she had never been secure about her body and it didn't really help that the only time they had ever been naked together was that first night back when she still had killer abs.

Ryan abandoned his position kneeling at her feet and moved up over her body to cup her cheek. He was careful to make sure that he was resting all of his weight on his other arm so as not to put any undue pressure on their unborn child. "Quinn...you really have no idea how beautiful you really are, do you," he whispered reverently, looking so deeply into her eyes that it felt like he was looking directly into her soul. "I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you because you, Quinn Fabray, are absolutely glorious."

Tears forming in her eyes, Quinn snorted disbelievingly. Who was he trying to kid, she was a whale.

"It's true," Ryan insisted. "You just...God, Quinn, you glow. You have this radiant beauty that makes it hard to look at you without having to wonder how you could possibly be real."

If this was coming from any other boy, Quinn would've just thought it was just a play to get into her pants. But this was Ryan and she knew that he meant every word.

"You are magnificent." He kissed her forehead. "Sexy." He kissed her cheek. "Stunning." He kissed the bridge of her nose. "Gorgeous." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Ridiculously, unfathomably, beautiful," he finished with a kiss to her lips. By now Quinn's tears were flowing uncontrollably. "And I would really, really like to see you naked. We can turn off the light if you're still uncomfortable," he assured her.

"But what if you don't find me attractive anymore?" she asked in a small voice. She couldn't lose him, not now, not ever.

"Impossible." He shifted his hips and let the head of his painfully hard erection rub against her thigh to prove to her just how ridiculously attractive she was to him. "I love you, Quinn. I love all of you. Every single part, inside and out. And nothing's going to change that," he swore.

Quinn hesitated, biting her lip. It wasn't like she didn't want to. She did, so badly. It's just that all those old insecurities were still there in the back of her mind. "Okay," she finally whispered.

"Okay?"

"Okay," she repeated in a stronger voice.

He kissed her and then pulled back helping her to sit up so he could pull her dress all the way up and over her head. He hesitated, unsure of what to do with it.

Quinn laughed at him, grabbing the dress out of his hands and tossing it onto the floor.

Bemused, Ryan shook his head at himself then lowered Quinn back to the bed. He kissed her neck, finding the sweet spot behind her ear that always made her shiver and moan.

But when he tenderly cupped her breast through her bra she let out a hiss that definitely wasn't from pleasure. "Are you okay?" he asked, frozen in place.

Quinn cringed in embarrassment and gently pulled his hand away from her chest. "Sorry, they're just kind of...sore," she said, blushing and mentally berating herself for ruining the mood. "The joys of pregnancy, I guess."

"Quinn, it's alright," he said, softly. "You don't need to be ashamed of the way your body is changing."

It was easy for him to say, he still had his rock hard abs. "I know." But that didn't exactly make it any easier.

Desperate to get things back on track, Quinn grabbed him by the back of his neck and started kissing him fiercely. Ryan got the message loud and clear and went to unhook her bra and failed.

Quinn let him fruitlessly grope around her back for a few moments before putting out of his misery. "It's a front clasp."

"Oh."

"Why is this so awkward?" Quinn exclaimed, letting out a self-deprecating laugh as she flopped back down once Ryan had successfully divested her of her bra. "We've done it so many times before."

"Well this is our first time in a bed since...you know, our first time."

Quinn supposed it made sense, even though their first time hadn't really been awkward at all. At least, not for her, mostly because Ryan had been so drunk that she hadn't been worried about him noticing all her physical flaws but now there were so many more of them to be worried about.

He shuffled down the bed, pulling her panties off down her legs and throwing them in the same general direction that her dress and bra had gone.

But instead of making his way back up her body like Quinn was expecting him to, he started kissing up her inner thighs and then lowered his head to-

"What are you doing?" Quinn yelped, gripping the hair on the back of his head and pulling him back.

"Well, I was planning to perform oral sex on you, Quinn," Ryan said, very matter of factly, seemingly unfazed by the sudden interruption.

Quinn wrinkled her nose up in disgust. "Why would you want to put your mouth there? That's gross."

Ryan smirked. "You do it to me all the time."

"That's different."

"How?" he asked, cocking his head to the side like a curious puppy.

"Because," Quinn began, squirming in discomfort. "You're a guy." Girls were supposed to go down on their boyfriends, it's just the way it was.

Apparently, Ryan found that rather amusing. "So?" he asked, chuckling.

"So...I just...I like doing that to you," she admitted, blushing. "And, as it turns out, it's actually really good for the baby."

Concerned about the possible implications of the baby making her crave it's fathers semen, Quinn had gone searching online for answers and was relieved to find out that not only was it a common craving amongst pregnant women but it was also a scientific fact that constant exposure to the biological father's semen, particularly through ingesting it, had a strong protective effect against miscarriage and pre-eclampsia.

"Really?" Ryan asked, palming her baby bump and rubbing his thumb across it.

"Yeah."

It was the kind of information that she never would've revealed to a guy like Puck or even Finn because they would've taken advantage of it but she knew Ryan wasn't like that. She trusted him more than she'd ever trusted anyone else in her life, so much that it scared her.

A look of what Quinn could only describe as pure love passed over Ryan's face and he leaned down to tenderly press his lips against her stomach.

The action caused unexpected tears began to well in Quinn's eyes. "Come up here," she instructed in a husky voice, cupping the back of his neck and urging him up towards her until they were eye to eye.

"If you really want to do _that_-" Though Quinn couldn't imagine why he would. "We can try it some other time but tonight I just really need you inside of me."

Ryan nodded and went to roll them so that Quinn would be on top, as she had been during all their previous encounters, but she stopped him before he could.

"No, like this."

"Are you sure?"

The truth was the idea of completely giving up control kind of terrified her but wanted this and she wanted to prove to Ryan that she trusted him. "Yes."

To show him how sure she was, she reached down and guided the head of his hardened cock to her dripping entrance.

"Do you want me to use a condom?" he asked. "You know, for authenticity's sake." Never let it be said that Ryan Berry ever gave an inauthentic performance.

Having only ever experienced sex without one, Quinn didn't think she could stand having any kind of barrier between them now. "No. I think we should take advantage of the fact that we don't have to use them while we can."

"Okay."

Quinn let out a small whimper of pain as he pushed into her but knew from experience that it would quickly fade as she adjusted to the intrusion. The pleasure was more than worth a little pain.

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, Ryan stilled, letting her adjust to his size, until Quinn gave him to the go ahead to start moving.

They kissed, slowly and deeply, as they leisurely made love. It was such a stark comparison to their frenzied hook ups during lunch periods and in between classes. It was so much better.

They kept up the slow pace until they couldn't stand it any longer. Ryan hit the precipice first, though Quinn could tell that he was holding back for her sake.

"It's okay," she murmured before biting down on his neck hard enough to leave a mark. The sensation of his cum filling her was enough to trigger her own orgasm.

Breathing heavily, they collapsed into each other, sweaty and sated. They lay like that for a long moment until Ryan finally got himself together enough to roll off Quinn and pull her overheated body into his side.

"That was good, right?" Quinn couldn't help but ask breathlessly as she buried her face into the crook of Ryan's neck. "I mean, I was okay?"

Ryan's arms tightened their hold around her and his lips found her temple. "It was better than good, it was amazing," he assured her, nuzzling the top of her head. "You were amazing."

"You're amazing," she whispered back. Quinn could feel her eyelids growing heavy but knew that there was no way she could let herself go to sleep yet, not matter how romantic the idea of them falling asleep in each others arms after making love was. She knew that if she didn't wash her make up off, she'd end up looking like a hideous mess in the morning and probably end up scarring poor Ryan for life. Not to mention the godawful morning breath she'd have from not brushing her teeth...but she was so comfortable, she didn't want to move.

"What's wrong?" Ryan asked after hearing Quinn's frustrated groan.

"I know that I have to get up and clean my teeth and wash my face before we go to sleep but all I want to do is lay here and cuddle."

"Mmmm, me too." Ryan knew exactly what she meant. Unfortunately, he also knew that if he missed even one night of his stringent exfoliation and moisturizing routine there'd be hell to pay with his skin.

Then Quinn was jostled from her very comfortable position as Ryan sat up, reaching for his alarm clock. He set it to go off in an hour and settled back down. "We can nap for an hour and then get up and have shower."

She lazily raised an eyebrow. "Hoping for an repeat performance?"

"Well, you know how much I love a good encore."

Quinn chuckled, cuddling against him. "I love you."

"I love you too. Both of you."

She let out a happy sigh as she felt herself sinking deeper into sleep, a contented smile on her lips.

This was something that she could definitely get used to.


	12. Chapter 7a

_Happiness is such a strange feeling,_ Quinn mused, while she waited for Mr. Schuester to arrive so Glee Club could start. _Especially when you know that it's never going to last._

She'd been living with Ryan for just over two weeks now and she could honestly say that she had never been happier in her whole life.

Ryan absolutely doted on her, caring for her in a way that nobody ever had before. He cooked for her, made her snacks to take to school every day -making sure that she was eating all the right foods that the baby books he'd been reading suggested for a healthy pregnancy- and always complied when she asked him to rub her aching feet or back at the end of a long day at school.

She loved spending time with him whether it was watching him rehearse new songs on the stage in the Berry's basement or curling up together to watch old movies on the couch. Even doing such mundane and domestic things as doing dishes or going shopping for groceries or maternity clothes was enjoyable when she was with him and not just because he bought her everything she wanted either.

He was going to be an amazing husband to some lucky girl one day, Quinn just wished that it could be her. She wasn't an idiot, she knew that their relationship had an expiry date; one that would coincide with the birth of their daughter. She knew that Ryan would never want to be with her after she gave their baby away and she was okay with that.

She could live with that as long as it meant that he'd be free to pursue his lifelong dream, that there'd be nothing holding him back from New York and Broadway, which had been his one true love long before Quinn had entered the picture.

So she was determined to enjoy their relationship while it lasted and just hoped that in the future, when he'd achieved that all that he wanted to achieve, all that he was destined to achieve, he'd be able to look back and remember her fondly.

"Where's Ryan?" Kurt asked, dumping a pile of old yearbooks on top of the piano and startling Quinn out of her rather depressing internal musings.

"He's not here yet," she said as she reluctantly joined the rest of the group that had gathered around the instrument. The last time she'd seen her boyfriend he'd been rushing off to the library to try and find a way to overturn Figgins' decision to leave the glee club out of this years edition of the Thunderclap.

"Perfect. Glee club stands on a delicate precipice," Kurt went on to say. "We have all felt the cold humiliation of a Slushie to the face. But as of right now our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution - swirlies, patriotic wedgies."

Quinn would've liked to know what Kurt was smoking if he thought that the glee club was in anyway anonymous. After they had performed Push It in front of the entire student body they had become the fourth most recognized club in the school -ranking behind only the hockey and football teams and the Cheerios- and for all the wrong reasons.

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" asked Mercedes.

Quinn rolled her eyes as Finn jumped in, quick to explain that it was when they hoisted you up the flag pole by your undies. He'd know, it was only a few months ago when he was leading the football team in giving one to Artie every other week.

"Strangely, it did make me feel more American," Artie added.

"Based on my investigation," Kurt continued. "I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-Glee club terror. I've done a little library research," he breathlessly informed them and opened up one of the yearbooks to the glee clubs section.

"Peter Geller," he said, pointing to a boy who's face had been entirely scratched out in the group photo. "Glee club, second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler moustache and a rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Geller had a nervous breakdown. He's now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."

"Patches?" Quinn exclaimed. At first she thought that Kurt had been being entirely too overdramatic about this whole yearbook thing but now she was starting to think that he might have a point.

"Patches," he confirmed, solemnly.

"He barks at my mom," Brittany revealed.

"Exhibit B, Tawny Peterson. Glee club class of 2000. Seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head in a macabre tableau that in four years would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling."

Quinn was torn, she knew how much the yearbook photo meant to Ryan but she wasn't particularly relishing the idea of either of their pictures being vandalized.

"Oh, hey guys," Mr. Schue greeted them as he walked into the choir room, sending Kurt scrambling to try and cover up what they'd been doing. "Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?"

"It was really unsettling."

"And totally unfair," Mr. Schue agreed, completely oblivious to the fear in Artie's voice.

"Hey, can I borrow one of these? You know what? This year's Thunderclap is going to have a Glee Club photo with every one of your smiling faces," he promised them all. "You have my word on it."

Fantastic.

#

"You know, now that I've joined the Zombie Survival Club, I'm officially the most involved student in this school," Ryan proudly informed Quinn as they made their way to their seats in the choir room.

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Zombie Survival Club?"

"Well, I like to be prepared for any eventuality." And he'd like to be able to do his very best to protect Quinn and their unborn child in the event of a zombie apocalypse. "So this afternoon the Black Student Union and Muslim Students Club are having our pictures done so I'll be running a little late, do you want to wait for me or get a ride home with Santana and Brittany?"

"Wait, you're in the Muslim Students Club? I thought you were Jewish." The Black Student Union, Quinn could understand, but Muslim students club? She was under the impression that Jews and Muslims were kind of mortal enemies.

"I am."

"So why-"

Quinn was quickly cut off by their teachers overly enthusiastic voice. "Hey, guys, great news! Glee Club gets a photo in the Thunderclap!"

Quinn's shoulders slumped in disappointment and it seemed like everyone else felt the same way. Everyone but Ryan, who was so happy that he was practically bouncing in his seat next to her.

"It's going to show everyone at the school that Glee club is on it's way up. When we win Regionals those 'Claps are going to be collectors items."

_Obviously he's been huffing the same fumes of delusion as Kurt,_Quinn thought with a frown.

"All of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs."

At this, Ryan perked up even more, if that were possible. All the hours he'd spent practicing his signature would finally pay off!

"But I had to compromise to do it. Um, we only get a quarter page in back, which means we have to pick two teams captains to appear in the photo. So tomorrow we're gonna put it to a vote. Exciting, huh? All right!" Mr. Schue concluded punctuating his words with a ridiculous fist pump.

Well, there really was only one way that this was going to end.

#

The bell rang and they all sat in impatient silence until Mercedes finally broke it. "Well, we're all here, I guess we should vote."

Ryan took that as his cue to jump to his feet and address the club. "With your permission, I have prepared a few words," he said with a big smile, ready to give the speech that he had spent over three hours writing even though Quinn had assured him that it was entirely unnecessary.

"I nominate Ryan," Mercedes said flatly and Kurt quickly seconded her motion. Ryan grinned, he could hardly believe this was happening, he obviously needed to listen to Quinn's advice more often.

"All right, let's vote up in this piece," Puck said as he started handing out slips of paper. "I gotta go to the gym and load up the guns of Puckerone for the football picture."

Quinn wrinkled her nose up in disgust and latched onto Ryan's -far superior, in her opinion- arm as he retook his seat beside her.

They all quickly scrawled Ryan's name down on their slips of paper and deposited them in the hat of fate that Mr. Schue passed around. Then they waited anxiously as Mr. Schuester took the hat into his office to count the votes in private.

Needless to say, it was probably the fastest vote count in history, even though Mr. Schuester counted the votes three times just to make sure.

"Looks like everyone voted for Ryan," Mr. Schue announced, not sounding very pleased. "Including Ryan."

"Congratulations, baby," Quinn said and kissed her proudly beaming boyfriend's cheek.

"But we need two captains guys."

"Why two?" Finn spoke up. "We're fine with having Berry represent us in the Thunderclap by himself." And if that meant that Berry's newfound and completely undeserved popularity would take a hit and he'd find himself being hoisted up the school flagpole by his underpants every day then so be it. That was the least he deserved in Finn's opinion.

Kurt immediately backed him up. "We'd actually prefer it."

#

"You wanted to see me Mr. Schue?" Ryan asked as he apprehensively entered the choir room. He wouldn't be surprised if the teacher had called him there to strip his captaincy from him and give it to Finn Hudson instead.

"Oh, hey there, Ryan," Mr. Schue's unusually cheerful tone gave Ryan pause. Now he was even more concerned that something weird was going on. "Sit down."

Ryan eyed him suspiciously as he made his way towards the seat by the piano.

"So how's the new captaincy going?"

"I think that my unanimous election gave me a very strong mandate to shake things up."

"Great, well, I have a job for you Captain."

Ryan raised an eyebrow, he'd learned from watching Quinn that a well timed eyebrow raise could be very intimidating.

It certainly seemed to have the intended effect on Schuester, who chuckled nervously and started rubbing the back of his neck.

"We need a co-captain."

Ryan's eyes narrowed at him. "If this is some feeble attempt to get me to split my captaincy with Finn Hudson-"

"No, no," Will said, placatingly. "It doesn't have to be Finn. You just have so many great ideas, there's no reason you shouldn't have some help pushing them through."

"I could use a trusty lieutenant," Ryan said thoughtfully. "I do have over sixty five proposals."

Will's eyes widened as his heart filled with dread. Oh god, he'd created a monster. "So...can I count on you?"

"I'm on it."

#

That night, Quinn was laying on Ryan's bed reading a book while classical music played through the headphones that she had pressed against her swollen belly.

It was Ryan's idea. He said that when his birth mother was pregnant with him, his fathers would play Vivaldi into her womb and that's why he turned out to be so smart and talented. Quinn wanted that for their baby; she wanted their daughter to be the smartest, prettiest, most talented child of her generation.

She looked up from her book when Ryan entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Quinn set her copy of _Breakfast at Tiffany's_aside and sat up. "You look pleased with yourself," she observed, noticing the semi-manic gleam in his eyes.

"I am," he confirmed, taking her hands in his. "Quinn, I have a proposal for you."

_Holy crap, is he going to ask me to marry him?_ Quinn thought, gaping at him. _Shouldn't I be freaking out about this?_

"Quinn Fabray, will you do me the honor..."

_Oh my god!_

"...of being my glee club co-captain?"

_Wait, that's it?_Quinn couldn't help feeling oddly disappointed. "You want me to captain the glee club?"

Ryan nodded, looking beyond pleased with himself. "It's the obvious solution. Given your time as captain of the Cheerios, you have experience and clearly excellent leadership skills and it goes without saying that we work well together."

"And we'd have our picture in the yearbook," Quinn continued apprehensively.

"Yes. And I don't know if you've realized this but, given our contrasting features, we make a very aesthetically pleasing couple," he boasted before doubt took over. He released her hands and pulled back. "Unless you don't want to have your picture taken with me."

"No, it's not that," Quinn said, stroking her fingers through his silky dark hair. "It's just that people are going to draw on them."

"So?"

Quinn sighed, he just didn't get it. "So Kurt showed us some old yearbooks where the glee club's pictures had been vandalized and this one girl ended up being murdered and they drew a rice paddy hat on this other guy's head and now he's Patches!"

Ryan looked at her uncomprehendingly. "Who's Patches?"

"He's the crazy homeless guy that hangs around outside the library and barks at people. I just don't want to end up like them, Ryan." She already had enough problems to deal with.

"I see. Well, firstly I'd like to point out that this Patches' misfortune probably had a lot more to do with an underlying mental illness than having his yearbook pictures defiled by juvenile delinquents. And secondly did Kurt happen to mention what happened to the all other members in the glee picture?"

"No."

"So isn't it entirely likely that they all went on to lead happy and successful lives?"

"Okay, I get your point. But...I..." Quinn trailed off, frowning, unsure of how to put her feelings into words to make Ryan understand.

"You what?" Ryan prompted gently.

"Last year, I would have been one of those juvenile delinquents vandalizing the glee club's picture," she admitted with no small amount of shame. "And now..."

"Well I like to think that you've shown a tremendous amount of personal growth."

Quinn smiled weakly. "Does it count if it's forced? I mean, if this-" She gestured to her growing belly. "-hadn't happened, I'd still be doing it. But now I'll just be one of the losers getting the buck teeth and Hitler moustache treatment." Registering what she'd just said, Quinn cringed. "Sorry. No offence."

Ryan just shrugged. "Why would I be offended? I really don't care what people do to my picture in their yearbooks and I don't care if other people call me a loser because I know that I'm not." He brought his hands up to cup her cheeks. "And you're not either. Quinn, you are so much better than you know."

He made it all sound so simple. So easy. But for Quinn it was anything but.

She chuckled bitterly and looked away. Pregnant at sixteen, disowned by her family, destined to be stuck in Lima for the rest of her life; she was the very definition of a loser.

"Quinn," Ryan said softly, sensing his girlfriend's internal struggle. "You can't let yourself be defined by what other people might think of you. Being in Glee club makes you happy. You should see yourself when we're performing, you look so happy and free and you love it, I know you do. You shouldn't let what other people might think of you make you feel ashamed of something that you love."

She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily. He was right, she knew that he was right. "Okay."

"Okay you'll be in the yearbook picture with me?"

"Yes, I'll be in the yearbook picture with you, on one condition."

"And what's that?"

"That I get to choose our outfits." If they were going to do this, Quinn wanted to make sure that they looked their absolute best, so that when the cool kids came across the picture in their yearbooks, they might just stop for a second and think 'Hey, cute couple!' before defacing it.

"Done."

* * *

A/N: If you have any questions or want more information about this story, the link to my tumblr is in my profile.


	13. Chapter 7b

"You have such male model hair," Quinn teased, smoothing a rogue lock of Ryan's hair back off his face and then loosening his tie so he didn't look so uptight.

She hadn't been able to convince him to wear one of his suits for the photo but had managed to talk him into wearing a navy and silver striped tie with a white button up under a midnight blue v-necked sweater. Overall, it was a very preppy hipster look that was currently in fashion everywhere that wasn't Lima, which seemed to permanently be at least two years behind the rest of the developed world when it came to style trends. The number of teenagers still walking around the town proudly wearing Ed Hardy and trucker hats was truly alarming.

Of course, Ryan's outfit complimented her own dark blue babydoll dress and cream colored cardigan quite nicely without looking like they were trying to hard to match each other, which was exactly what Quinn had been going for.

The photographer checked his watch then looked over to the couple who had been primping and preening in front of the mirror for the past ten minutes. He cleared his throat impatiently to hurry them up. "Anytime you're ready."

Ryan checked his hair one last time as Quinn finished with her final application of lipgloss.

"Before we begin," Ryan said as they moved in front of the screen that had been set up. "I must insist on only being shot from my left side."

The photographer stared back blankly. Usually these kids couldn't wait to just have their picture taken and leave but these two seemed acting like they were getting ready for a full-blown photoshoot or something. "Okay."

Satisfied with his answer, Ryan took his position behind Quinn, looping his arms around her waist and clasping his fingers together across her stomach. They'd figured out the night before, when they'd spent over an hour practicing different poses and smiles in front of the mirror -they'd even done a few test shots with Ryan's dads' camera-, that it was the best way to minimize Quinn's still relatively small baby bump in the pictures.

Pleased that they were finally getting on with it, the photographer started snapping away. Anticipating that these were the types of kids that would complain if he didn't, he even took a few more shots than he usually would. "Okay, that's great. I think we're done here."

"Wait, that's it?" Ryan yelped. "But we practiced over eighteen different poses for this shoot."

"Sorry, kids," the photographer said, already packing his equipment away. "But I gotta blow, I have somewhere I need to be."

Quinn turned around and placed a hand on Ryan's chest before he could protest anymore. "It's okay, we have to get ready for our doctor's appointment, anyway."

"Yes, of course. We're having a baby and it's our eighteen week check up this afternoon," Ryan proudly informed the photographer.

The photographer looked up from his camera bag and raised a skeptical eyebrow at the unlikely couple."Mazel Tov."

Ryan grinned, so thrilled that someone was speaking his language that he completely missed the sarcasm in his tone. "Thank you!"

#

"Are you nervous?" Quinn asked, watching Ryan's knee bounce as they waited for the doctor to join them.

"No, I'm excited."

Quinn smoothed her hands down the paper gown she'd had to change into and smiled at him. She couldn't believe how different this was from the last doctor's appointment she'd attended with Finn.  
She was so much more relaxed for one thing; partly because Ryan's dads had somehow managed to get her covered on their health insurance so she wasn't freaking out about how they were going to pay the bill and partly simply because Ryan was there with her.

Still she felt her nerves jump as she heard the door to the room open.

"Finn not with you today?" Dr. Wu observed as he entered the examination room and found the tall teenage boy, he'd become accustomed to seeing, to be missing.

"Ah, no," Quinn said, tugging on Ryan's wrist to pull him closer to her. "This is Ryan Berry...he's the baby's father."

"Oh." Dr. Wu couldn't disguise his shock but recovered admirably. "Okay, then. Quinn, why don't we start by taking your blood pressure."

Quinn quietly started to panic. Sure, she'd been feeling a lot less stressed since the truth had come out but what if it wasn't enough. What if her blood pressure was still too high and it was hurting their baby?

She tried to force herself to relax as Dr. Wu wrapped the cuff around her arm but the tension only drained from her body when she felt Ryan's fingers intertwine with her own.

"Excellent," Dr. Wu said with a satisfied smile, after a few moments. "That's much better, Quinn."

He pulled the cuff off her arm and set it off to the side. "Now, lay back and roll up your gown up for me," the doctor instructed as he got up and rolled the cart with the ultrasound machine over next to the examination table.

"Have you been taking your prenatal vitamins?" he asked, squeezing a generous dollop of lubricating gel onto Quinn's exposed abdomen.

"Uh-huh," Quinn answered, tilting her head to look adoringly at her boyfriend. "This one won't let me forget."

Dr. Wu laughed at the way Ryan preened proudly at the comment, he already liked this boy more than Finn Hudson, who seemed to have a permanent look of terror on his face and constantly looked like he was about to pass out or throw up or throw up and then pass out. "That's good and how have you been feeling in general?"

"Really good, except for being more tired than usual," Quinn said as the doctor started spreading the cold blue gel around with the probe. "But I hardly get any morning sickness anymore."

"Well, that's normal now that you're in your second trimester," the doctor said, moving the probe around until finally settling it in one spot. "And there's your baby."

"Wow," Ryan breathed out in wonder as he stared at the image on the monitor. Quinn echoed his sentiments. This wasn't like the previous scans where even when the doctor pointed out the barely discernible blob it was hard to believe it was supposed to be a baby. This time the image moving on the screen actually looked like a tiny person with a head and legs and arms and fingers and toes. For the first time it all seemed real.

The three shared a chuckled when the baby appeared to stick it's thumb in it's mouth.

"That won't affect the development of her teeth will it?" Ryan worried. He was sure that he'd heard somewhere that thumb suckers often grew up to have buck teeth.

"No, not at all."

Dr. Wu pressed a button and the steady thump of the baby's strong heartbeat filled the room. Quinn tore her eyes away from the monitor to look at Ryan who had honest to god tears in his eyes. She reached up and wiped them away from his face and he unconsciously did the same for her without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Everything looks good from here," the doctor was pleased to inform them. He indulged the teen parents, letting them watch their child move about on the monitor for a little longer than was necessary before pulling the probe back and saving the video file. "I assume you'll be wanting a copy?" he asked, handing Quinn some tissues to wipe the remaining gel on her belly away.

"Yes, please," said Ryan. "Actually, can we have two? I know that my dads are going to want one of their own."

"We can do that," Dr. Wu said, not looking up from the file he was making the necessary alterations to. "Now, Ryan, you're Jewish, correct?"

Quinn tensed. "What does that have to do with anything?" She really hoped Dr. Wu wasn't anti-Semitic, it'd suck having to find another obstetrician this far into the pregnancy.

"It just means that we'll have to run a few more genetic tests, that's all."

"Actually, that won't be necessary," Ryan piped up.

"Excuse me?" Exactly who was the supposed to be the doctor here?

"Last year, my cousin Leon and his wife got pregnant and then they found out that he was a carrier for Tay-Sachs," Ryan explained. "The baby was fine but it was a scary couple of months and it prompted my whole family into undergoing genetic counselling in order to hopefully avoid such scares in the future. I had a full genetic test panel run on me and as it turns out my DNA is flawless, I'm not a carrier for a single genetic disease."

Once word of his being prime breeding stock had gotten around at Temple, Ryan had suddenly found himself fending off many mothers who wanted to set him up with their teenage daughters. That's how he'd ended up on that dreadful date with Esther Hirschfeld.

"I can bring the results with me to our next appointment if you'd like to see for yourself," he offered.

"If you could, I need to add it to the file." The doctor finished up the notes he'd been writing and set the manilla folder to the side before leaning down and fishing something out of a drawer.

"Alright, Quinn, on last thing and we're done," he said, setting the plastic receptacle down on the table next to her.

"Pee in a cup time?" she asked.

Dr. Wu nodded. "Pee in a cup time."

"Oh, joy."

#

Thankfully the mandatory urine tests didn't turn up anything to be concerned about and according to Dr. Wu, Quinn and the baby were in perfect health. He was happy with the way everything was progressing and didn't need to see them for another few weeks.

Quinn could feel Janet, the receptionist's eyes on her the second they stepped out of the exam room and she didn't exactly relish the thought of feeling that burning, lazer focused judgemental gaze up close either.

"Ry," she said, tugging on her boyfriend's arm. "I need to go to the bathroom, can you take care of the bill and set up the next appointment?"

"Sure," Ryan easily agreed.

Quinn leaned up to kiss his cheek before ducking off into the ladies bathroom, leaving him to deal with that bitch Janet. She knew that Ryan could handle it better than she would. If the whole yearbook photo episode had proved anything, it was that Ryan didn't care what other people thought about him and had no problem saying so, and even though Quinn had made some progress in that area, it still wasn't enough to completely shake off the years of having 'what other people think of you is the only thing that matters' drilled into her head.

Stopping at the sink to wash her hands, Quinn looked up into the mirror and almost didn't recognize the girl staring back at her. Who was this beautiful, glowing creature with the warm, sparkling hazel eyes and unconsciously contented smile?

Her phone started to ring and, still marvelling at her reflection, Quinn fished around in her pocket for it.

Joan C., the caller id read. It was Quinn's code name for Mrs. Schuester. _What the hell does she want now?_ she thought accepting the call. _I swear, if she's calling to remind me not to eat carrots because they'll turn the baby into a ginger, again..._

"Hello?"

"Will knows."

"What?"

"He found out that I'm not really pregnant," Terri whimpered tearfully on the other end of the line. "He's leaving me."

Quinn didn't know what to say. This was sad and all but why was Terri calling her? Surely, she'd be better off calling her crazy sister. "I'm...sorry?"

"You know what this means, don't you? It means that I don't need your baby anymore."

The realization hit Quinn like a ton of bricks. "But you promised! You said that you'd take her!"

"I can't, not without Will. I wouldn't know what to do with a baby on my own," Terri whined. "I don't know if you've noticed this but I'm not exactly the maternal type."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now?" Quinn hissed angrily, tears pricking at her eyes. Just when everything seemed to be going right, she'd had the rug pulled out from underneath her.

"That's really not my problem, Quinn. I'm sorry but don't ever call me again."

A click and then silence. The soon to be ex-Mrs. Schuester had hung up on her.

"Bitch!" Quinn spat, pressing her hand against her belly as she tired to rein in her anger. She couldn't let Ryan see her like this. He'd want to know what was wrong and she sure as hell couldn't tell him the truth. Ryan could never know that she'd been planning on giving their baby to Mr. Schuester and his mentally unstable wife, he'd never forgive her.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Quinn had one hand clenching around the edge of the sink and the other rubbing her baby bump as she tried to take deep breaths and calm herself down.

She could feel the flutters of the baby kicking wildly against her palm, as if it was trying to tell her "Hey mom, you're really freaking me out!"

"Sorry, baby," she whispered, as if her daughter could hear her. "Mommy's just being silly. Everything's going to be fine, you'll see."

She was smart, resourceful, and still had five months left to figure out a way to fix this. Yep, everything was going to be just fine.

#

Even though they'd only been living together for two weeks, Quinn and Ryan had fallen very easily into a nightly routine. After they cooked and eaten dinner together, providing the had no pressing assignments due, they'd curl up on the couch together and watch a movie; usually of the old and musical variety which Quinn enjoyed vastly more than the brainless action films that Finn always used to make her watch with him.

Quinn was sure that his taste in movies was one of the reasons most people just assumed that her boyfriend was gay, not that Ryan cared what they thought and she liked that about him. He was secure enough in himself that he wasn't like Finn, who threw a fit whenever his manliness or sexuality was questioned. Not that she thought that her ex was intentionally homophobic but she had witnessed him saying more than a few questionable things; like the time Kurt joined the football team and Finn whined to her for an hour about having to wear shorts and a t-shirt when he showered in the locker room because he didn't want Kurt to see him naked and get so overcome by lust that he'd try to make out with him.

Tonight they were watching Carousel, not that Quinn could bring herself to concentrate on anything that was happening on the screen. That idiotic shrew, Terri Schuester, had ruined everything. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Where was she supposed to find another couple that she trusted to secretly adopt their baby without Ryan finding out?

If he ever discovered that she'd been planning on giving their baby to the Schuesters...Quinn couldn't even bear thinking about it.

She should've expected something like this would happen; things had been going too well, she'd been too happy, she should've known that the other shoe was about to drop.

Ryan frowned, massaging his girlfriend's tense shoulders as she lay back against his chest. Quinn had been distant ever since they'd left the doctors office. At first he'd thought that she'd been mad at him for not telling her about the possibility of complications with the baby thanks to his ethnicity but when he brought it up she told him that she wasn't; she said that she knew that he would never do anything to endanger their child and that she was sure if he hadn't already had the genetic tests done he would've informed her, which she was absolutely right about. If he'd thought that there was any risk to their child, he certainly wouldn't have allowed Quinn to continue the charade of Finn being the baby's father for so long.

The only other thing he could think of that could be upsetting her was that perhaps she was having second thoughts about not keeping the baby? It couldn't hurt to ask.

On the television, Billy Bigelow, who'd just discovered that he was going to be a father sang, _"You can have fun with a son but you've gotta be a father to a girl."_ Ryan chose to take it as a sign that he was about to do the right thing.

"Quinn?"

"Hmmm?"

"I know that you said that you have everything already arranged but I really think that we should talk about the adoption."

Quinn tensed. Her boyfriend really did have a great sense of dramatic timing, he really couldn't have picked a worse time to bring this up.

"I don't," she said stiffly. _Just drop it, Ryan, please._ "I told you, you don't have to worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it?" he asked, frowning. "This is my baby too."

Ryan thought that he'd been more than accommodating about the issue thus far. But seeing their baby on that ultrasound monitor, it just made it so much more real. They were having a baby, he was going to be a father and if he had to give his daughter up then he needed to know that she was going to go to a good home.

"I know that," Quinn sighed, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. "But can we please not talk about this now? It's been a really long day."

"Why not now?"

Oh God. Why couldn't he be more like Finn? Finn never asked questions about the adoption, he'd just been relieved that she'd taken on all the responsibility of organizing it.

She need to make Ryan drop this. She needed to scare him away from the topic once and for all. She needed to introduce him to the being that Finn referred to as Scary Quinn.

She turned her head to level an icy glare at her boyfriend. "Because I don't want to," she snarled at him through gritted teeth. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to even think about that? And for you to bring it up after today is just cruel."

Ryan stared at her, his mouth hanging open, confused by the sudden change in Quinn's demeanor. "I'm not trying to be cruel-"

"Yes, you are! You're trying to force me into talking about something that you know hurts me!" she shouted hysterically, hauling herself up from the couch in preparation for her dramatic exit. "God, Ryan, I had no idea you could be so insensitive to my feelings! You're worse than Finn!"

"What?"

"You heard me!" she yelled over her shoulder as she stormed out of the room, leaving a shell-shocked Ryan Berry still half laying on the couch. "Worse than Finn!"

Ryan just laid there, wide-eyed, trying to make sense of the last two minutes. "What the hell just happened?"

#

Yelling at Finn had always been a cathartic experience and Quinn always felt better afterwards, usually because Finn had done something stupid and deserved it, but yelling at Ryan just made Quinn feel awful and guilty, especially since he'd really done nothing to deserve it, he was just once again proving how much he cared about their child.

An hour, that's how much time Quinn decided to make herself wait before going to apologize to Ryan. Hopefully by then he'd feel too afraid or too guilty about upsetting her to ever bring the topic up again.

She lay on her bed in the guest room, tapping her fingers against her stomach and smiling when she occasionally felt the baby kick back as she counted down the minutes. She'd already tried reading to pass the time but hadn't been able to focus and ended up reading the same page three times before she'd realized she was doing it and ended up tossing the hard cover copy of _White Fang_, that had been a gift from her grandfather, aside in annoyance.

She checked the time and found that only forty five minutes had passed. Oh well, close enough.

With only a slight struggle, she managed to get off the bed and immediately went to Ryan's room, only to find it to be conspicuously empty. Strange, Ryan should've been at least half way into his pre-bedtime ritual by now.

Even though she knew that the idea was absurd, Quinn felt a pang of irrational fear that she'd pushed him too far and he'd walked out on her.

Concerned, she headed downstairs in search of her missing boyfriend.

"What are you doing?" she blurted out when she wandered into the living room and found him making up a bed on the couch.

"Making up my bed for the night."

"Why?" It wasn't like he didn't have a perfectly good bed upstairs.

Ryan set down the pillow he'd been fluffing. "Well, I was under the impression that when one is in the doghouse with their significant other, it is customary for them to sleep on the couch."

"You don't have to do that," Quinn said, rounding the couch and taking his hands in hers. "Listen, I'm sorry for being so harsh with you before."

"It's okay-"

"No, it's not." Quinn sighed and sat down on the couch, tugging Ryan down with her. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. But I meant what I said, I don't want to talk about it, Ryan, I can't. It hurts too much."

Ryan bit his lip, feeling conflicted. The last thing he ever wanted to do was cause Quinn any pain, especially when she'd already been through so much. "I'm sorry, but-"

"I'm not saying that we're never going to talk about it, I...I'm just not ready to talk about it right now, okay?" she said, looking at him pleadingly. _Please, God, please just let him let this go._

"Okay," Ryan finally relented reluctantly. "But we are going to have to have that discussion eventually, Quinn."

Quinn swallowed down the lump in her throat. "I know. But for now can we just go to bed? I'm exhausted." And she simply could not wait this hellish day to be over.

"Sure, we can do that."

Quinn let out a surprised squeal as she found herself unexpectedly swept up into Ryan's arms as he stood up.

"What?" he laughed at her reaction. "You said you were exhausted."

"Ryan, put me down, I'm too heavy," Quinn protested, half-heartedly.

"Oh please, I have to lift Shelly Marsden in my ballet class all the time and she has at least fifteen pounds on you. Now shush, I'm trying to be chivalrous here."

Quinn just laughed and let herself be carried away. It may have only been borrowed time but right now she'd take what she could get.


	14. Chapter 8a

"Alright, guys, listen up! Sectionals are this Saturday which means that we need to start working on our set list. We need to choose three songs that'll show the judges exactly what New Directions is all about."

Quinn smirked as Ryan grumbled beside her. He'd been on at Mr. Schuester about finalizing a setlist for weeks and frequently complained to her about their show choir director's complete lack of preparation for the upcoming competition. Quinn had to agree with him; she knew that their teacher had a lot going on in his life lately what with finding out that his crazy wife was faking her pregnancy and all, but Mr. Schue had really dropped the ball on this one.

"Well, we have to do Proud Mary in wheelchairs. That's in," Artie said immediately, to which Mr. Schue nodded acceptingly.

Meanwhile, Ryan actually physically facepalmed. Did none of them understand what a logistical nightmare it would be? It had taken them two days to set up the ramps in their own auditorium for that number and he highly doubted that they'd be allowed to make such considerable alterations to the stage at Sectionals which meant that all the choreography would have to be changed and then relearned.

But, in the interest of keeping the peace, he held his tongue for now. He and Quinn would just approach Mr. Schuester later in private, in their capacity as captains, and make him see sense. Quinn had impressed on him the need to be diplomatic about these things; it would be far better to make Mr. Schuester look like the bad guy than to pick a fight, one that he probably wouldn't win anyway, with Artie in front of everyone.

"And Don't Stop Believing for sure," said Finn, which was surprisingly a suggestion that Ryan actually approved of, even if Mr. Schue had given away his part in the song to Santana Lopez because he decided that it sounded better with two opposite sex leads. At least, that's what the teacher claimed but Ryan had a sneaking suspicion he'd done it to punish him for the brief time he'd quit the glee club to pursue a lead role in Mr Ryerson's ill fated production of Chicago.

"What about the ballad?" Tina asked.

Finally it was Ryan's time to shine. "I would be thrilled to contribute a ballad from my repertoire," he announced, his confidence buoyed by Quinn's encouraging smile.

"Actually, Ryan, I was thinking that we would hold auditions for the ballad," Mr. Schue immediately shot him down.

Ryan's jaw clenched and Quinn's grip on his hand tightened. "Auditions?"

"Yeah, your assignment the other week really opened my eyes to the fact that we have plenty of talented balladeers in this room. It's only fair that they all get a chance to try out for the solo."

"I see," Ryan said, tersely. "And who would be judging these auditions? You?"

"No. I thought I'd leave it up to you guys, that way everyone gets a say," Mr. Schue said with an oblivious smile. "So those of you who are thinking of auditioning, take the time tonight to prepare your ballads, auditions will be first thing tomorrow. Now, our Don't Stop is a little rusty so we'll start rehearsing that first."

Quinn sighed and snuggled up to her fuming boyfriend who was slumped down in his chair. They both knew that he'd already lost, Mr. Schuester had guaranteed that by turning the competition into a popularity contest and leaving the decision up to their peers rather than an impartial third party. It didn't matter what he sang or how good he was, their teammates would never vote for him, some of them -namely Finn- purely out of spite.

But that didn't mean he was just going give up. Ryan Berry did not just roll over and accept defeat. Tomorrow he was going to get up there and he was going to give the performance of his life because that's just who he was.

#

"Alright, guys," Mr Schuester said as he entered the room, full of enthusiasm. "It's sing off time! Now who's got something prepared for us?"

It was no surprise when Ryan's hand shot up, although it did come as a bit of a shock when Finn also raised his hand. However, what surprised Will the most was that out of the twelve kids they were the only two volunteering.

"Kurt, Mercedes, do you guys need some more time to prepare?" he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion and concern. Kurt and Mercedes were undoubtedly the most vocal in expressing their feelings that they didn't get to sing enough but here he was, offering them the chance at a solo, in a competition no less, and they weren't even going to bother trying to audition for it? Something wasn't right.

"No, Mr Schue, we've talked about it and we've decided that we're not going to audition," Mercedes explained.

"Although, if I may add," Kurt interjected, holding up his finger. "My rendition of Defying Gravity would blow all of you out of the water."

Will chuckled, amused by Kurt's hubris. "So why don't you get on up here and show us what you've got?"

"Because we don't want to risk splitting the vote."

Quinn felt Ryan's grip on her hand tighten and she knew that they shared the same suspicions of what was happening. She saw the crushingly disheartened look on his face that he instantly transformed into an overconfident smile the second he realized she was looking at him.

Will was a little confused by Mercedes reasoning but if that was their choice then he'd respect it. "Okay, well if that's what you guys really want. I guess it's just down to Ryan and Finn. Ryan, why don't you go first?" he said, stepping to the side and letting the boy take the floor.

Ryan took a deep breath and squared his shoulders before plastering a wide smile on his face as he began to address his teammates. "Today I will be singing 'What I Did For Love' from the legendary Broadway musical A Chorus Line. Now I know what you're thinking and yes, it is a song traditionally sung by a female, however it has been covered many a time by male performers and-"

"Get on with it!" Puck yelled, already bored.

Ryan's smile faltered only for a moment. "You're absolutely right, Noah, I should simply let my outstanding performance speak for itself," he said boastfully but Quinn could see right through her boyfriend's bravado and knew that his confidence had been shaken, she just hoped that he wouldn't let it affect his performance.

But she needn't have been worried. From the opening low notes to the final soaring high ones that never failed to send shivers down Quinn's spine, it was a trademark pitch perfect Ryan Berry gold star worthy performance that Finn could never even dream of coming close to matching on his best day.

Quinn's enthusiastic clapping stood out amongst the others decidedly lacklustre applause.

"That was great, Ryan, thank you," Mr Schuester said, sending him back to his seat where he was rewarded with a kiss from Quinn. "Finn, you're up."

Finn lumbered to his feet and turned to address the group. "Before I start singing I just want to say something, if that's okay. It's no secret that I've been having a pretty tough time lately and I just really wanted to thank everybody who's been supporting me through it all. Now I don't know if the song that I've chosen is technically a ballad but Mr. Schue said that ballads are supposed to be an expression of what you're feeling inside and I think that this song really sums up what I've been feeling these past couple of weeks."

He nodded to the band and they started to play. Santana's eyes widened as she instantly recognized the opening piano riff that Finn was trying to tap his foot along to in an awkward, jerky motion. She leaned down in between Ryan and Quinn and said, "Isn't this-"

Quinn's eyebrows shot up in disbelief as she too realized what song it was. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

"_You're as cold as ice!_" Finn sang, his arm shooting out to point an accusatory finger at Quinn. "_You're willing to sacrifice our love._"

Ryan covered his mouth to try and stifle a laugh. There was no way Finn could beat him now, not with that song. The others may have been biased but they would have to be insane to vote for him if they wanted to win at Sectionals.

Quinn couldn't even bring herself to be angry as her ex-boyfriend aggressively sang about her being an unfeeling gold digger. She was more bemused than anything and a little guilty that Finn still seemed to be taking it all so hard.

Finn was red-faced and breathing hard by the time he finished his song to raucous applause.

"That was fantastic, Finn! Well done," Mr. Schuester said, proudly clapping his protege on the shoulder and sending him back to his seat. "Alright, this is going to be a tough choice, we have two great ballads to choose from. Now I want you guys to take this seriously and vote for the song that you think will win us Sectionals, okay?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Schue," Puck said with a smirk.

"Alright, now raise your hand if you think that Ryan should perform the ballad at Sectionals."

Ryan, Quinn, Brittany and Santana's hands all shot up. They were the only ones.

"And now if you think Finn should take it."

The remaining club members hands all went up. Mike and Tina's were raised more hesitantly than the others; they liked Finn and felt bad for him after what Quinn and Ryan had put him through but there was no denying that Ryan's performance was a hundred times better. But they had made an agreement with their friends to vote for Finn no matter what and they felt like they had to honor that.

Not that their votes would have made a difference, even if they had voted for Ryan it only would've tied things up and Mr Schue's vote would be the tiebreaker and everybody knew where his loyalties lay.

Ryan hung his head in defeat, seething internally. How could he have lost? He was better. His voice, his song choice, his stage presence, all better than Finn's. He should have won. That solo was his and he wasn't not going to let it go without a fight.

"Okay." Mr. Schuester clapped his hands together. "By a margin of eight votes to four, Finn wins! Congratulations!"

"This is ridiculous!" Ryan protested loudly, shrugging off Quinn's comforting hand and shooting up from his chair. "He was terrible, did you even hear the way his voice cracked on that high note? There is no way we can win at Sectionals with him singing that song, surely even _you_ can see that."

Mr. Schuester sighed in frustration. Obviously it was too much to ask for Ryan Berry to let this go without complaint. "Look, Ryan, I'm sorry that you're upset but you need to accept your teammates decision here."

"But it's the wrong one! They only voted for him because they like him better than me. I never stood a chance, you made sure of that when you turned this into a popularity contest," he argued, advancing on the show choir director who was getting more and more fed up with him by the second.

"That's enough!" Mr. Schuester shouted, the sudden surge of anger startling his students. "I've had it up to here with you and your attitude, Ryan, I really have. Now you need to accept that this is a democracy, not a dictatorship, and you don't have to like your teammates decision but you will respect it! And if you can't do that, then you can leave, because there's no place for you here."

Ryan jaw clenched as he held Schuester's glare. "Fine. Good luck winning without me. I'm done trying to save this sinking ship," he snarled, before storming out of the room.

Quinn calmly stood from her seat, gathering her things and the bag that Ryan had left behind.

She glared at the people she had once, fleetingly, called friends. "Well, I hope you're all pleased with yourselves," she said, glaring accusingly at them -Only a few of them had the decency to look guilty for the part that they'd played in what had just happened- before following in her boyfriend's footsteps out the door.

#

It wasn't exactly hard to figure out where Ryan would go to lick his wounds after his storm out.

"I thought I'd find you here," Quinn said as she ascended the steps onto the stage in the auditorium where Ryan was sitting at the piano, listlessly pressing down keys random keys.

"Are you saying that I'm predictable?"

"Only to me," she teased gently as she dropped their bags next to the bench and sat down next to her boyfriend, letting her head against his shoulder. "Did you mean what you said? Are you really quitting Glee for good?"

Ryan's face hardened. "I did, Quinn. You know, everyone in Glee is getting something out of being there. Everyone except for me. So why should I continue to waste my talents where they're so clearly not appreciated?"

Being part of something special was supposed to make him feel special but lately being in Glee club was doing exactly the opposite. He just couldn't take being passed over in favor of Finn Hudson -who sang and danced like a zombie that had to poop- anymore, it hurt too much.

He could have dealt with losing to Mercedes or even Kurt -at least they were marginally near his level of talent- but losing to _Finn_? No. It was a travesty. It was a humiliation of the highest order and Ryan wasn't going to stand for it any longer.

"You know that without you, we're not going to have enough members to compete."

"I'm sure that Mr. Schue will be able to find someone to take my place swaying in the background," he scoffed bitterly. But Quinn could see right through him and knew that he was more hurt than angry. "I'd recommend one of the band members, they already know the songs and most of the choreography from watching us perform. You should suggest that to him."

"I will...You know, I kind of feel like this is my fault," she admitted.

"Why?"

"If I hadn't hurt Finn like I did-"

"No," Ryan cut her off, not wanting her to feel guilty for something that wasn't her fault. "This isn't about you, it's me...People just don't like me."

Quinn tightened her grip around his arm and sighed, he was right -people didn't like him- and she wasn't about to patronize him by lying about it. "I like you," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder.

The corners of Ryan's mouth quirked up and he rested his forehead against Quinn's. "I like you too," he said softly.

They sat that way in silence for a few moments until Ryan pulled back.

"You know, if it wasn't for me the New Directions wouldn't even exist. If I hadn't gotten rid of that despicable closet case Sandy Ryerson then Tina, Mercedes and Kurt would still be stuck languishing in Rhythm Explosion, watching Hank Saunders get all the solos because he occasionally let Ryerson feel him up-"

"So the rumors were true, you did get Mr. Ryerson fired!" Quinn exclaimed, gleefully. He was so good to her that she often forgot that Ryan was quite capable of being even more ruthless and underhanded than she was, when it came to getting something he wanted. It was actually kind of a turn on.

Ryan smirked at her. "Schuester's lucky I don't do the same to him. With the way he behaves, it probably wouldn't be hard to get Figgins to believe that he was carrying on an affair with Hudson."

Quinn chuckled, amused. "I think it might look a little suspicious if you accuse both show choir directors who denied you solos of sleeping with their students, babe."

"You could do it," Ryan suggested, his eyes lighting up. "Or maybe Coach Sylvester, I know she's dying for an excuse to get rid of him-"

"Ry, you know I love a good evil scheme as much as the next girl but we are not getting Mr. Schuester fired, it'd ruin his life," Quinn said in serious tone, shutting him down before the idea had time to really take hold.

Ryan pouted but he guessed Quinn was right. By all accounts, Schuester's life was already in shambles, getting him fired from the one good thing he had left in his life would've just been cruel, not to mention possibly a slight overreaction on his part.

"Just give it some time," Quinn urged him, stroking her hand through his silky hair. "We'll work something out."

#

The Saturday morning of the competition, Ryan drove Quinn to the school to meet up with the others but that was as far as he was willing to go.

He'd already explained several times to Quinn that he did not want to subject himself to the other's snide remarks or Mr Schuester's attempts to guilt him into rejoining the group just so that he could stand in the background and watch as Finn torpedoed their chances of winning.

And on the one hand, Quinn could understand where he was coming from but on the other, she just wished that her boyfriend would stop being so stubborn and come to support her.

So they sat in silence in Ryan's car, watching as their fellow glee clubbers arrived in dribs and drabs, slowly filing into the yellow school bus. Finn and Puck were the first to arrive, then the shaggy haired bass player from the Jazz Band that they'd recruited to replace Ryan, and then Kurt and Mercedes had rolled up in Kurt's Escalade. Quinn would rather chew her own arm off than be forced to share a confined space with four out of five of those people so she was waiting until Santana and Brittany arrived to join them.

Sighing, she turned to Ryan and tried one last time to try and convince him to join them. "Are you sure that you won't come with us?"

Ryan grimaced. He felt awful about making Quinn do this on her own but if he backed down now, he knew that he'd never be taken seriously by the others. No, he had to stand firm on this. "I am. Quinn...I'm sorry, I know that I'm disappointing you."

"You're not disappointing me, Ry." Qkay, that was kind of a lie but she knew how guilty he was already feeling about this. "It'd just be nice if you were there to support us." _Support me._ "That's all."

He bowed his head. "I really wish it didn't have to be like this."

"So do I."

"If you need anything at all-"

"I'll call you." And he'd come running, Quinn had no doubt about that. She spotted Santana's black Mustang pulling into the parking lot and undid her seatbelt.

"Good luck," Ryan said, surprising her. "Usually I'd say 'break a leg' but, considering your rather delicate condition, I felt like that may be considered tempting fate."

Quinn chuckled and leaned across to kiss him goodbye. "Thank you." She kissed him again. "Bye."

"Bye," Ryan echoed, regretfully watching his girlfriend get out off his car and head towards the bus to Sectionals without him.

#

Quinn was surprised when she rounded the bus to find, not the sweater vested Spanish teacher she'd been expecting, but a ginger haired guidance counsellor instead.

"Ms. Pillsbury? Where's Mr. Schue?" she asked the woman who was nervously watching Artie strapping himself into the wheelchair lift.

"Oh, Quinn, I'm afraid that Mr. Schuester had a family emergency and he couldn't make it, so I'll be chaperoning you today," Ms. Pillsbury explained, anxiously wringing her hands together. "But not to worry. I mean, you kids have been rehearsing all week, you know what you're doing. I'll just be there for moral support, really. It'll be fine."

"I'm sure it will be," Quinn agreed, taking pity on the poor woman who looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack. She offered Ms. Pillsbury what she hoped was a reassuring smile then boarded the bus.

She kept her head down to avoid making eye contact as she passed Finn and the others and joined Brittany and Santana up the back of the bus.

"Loverboy still sulking?" Santana remarked, causing Quinn to glare at her as she slid into the empty seat in front of them. "Hey, don't look at me like that, Q, we're not the ones who voted for the not so jolly green giant."

"Finn isn't green," said Brittany, peering over Quinn's head to look at Finn, just to make sure.

"Metaphorically, he is," Santana explained. "He's green with envy that Berry's able to get into Quinn's not so pure white panties whenever he feels like it when his tubby ass was never allowed to get past first base."

"Oh." Brittany didn't get what any of that had to do with meteors but she nodded understandingly anyway. "Totally."

Quinn just rolled her eyes, wondering, not for the first time, how she ever became friends with the two of them. "Do either of you know what happened to Mr. Schue?"

Santana smirked at the sudden change in topic. "As a matter of fact, I do. You see, my cousin Javier lives on the same block as Mr. Schue's folks and I heard from him that last night they went on this huge bender after finding out that Mr. Schue's crazy wife was faking being pregnant and ended up burning their house down."

"Oh my God!" Quinn gasped. "Are they alright?"

"They're fine, just a little smoke inhalation, they didn't even have to go to hospital. But Javi said that their house was totally gutted and believe it or not but this is actually the second time this has happened. Anyway, I guess that Schuester's going to be stuck with them for a while."

"That's terrible," Quinn muttered, racked with guilt for the part she'd played in Terri Scuester's deception.

"But without Ryan or Mr. Schue how are we going to win at Sectionals?" Brittany pondered out loud.

"Don't worry about it, Britts, we're up against a bunch of deaf kids and lady criminals. This is going to be a freaking cakewalk."

Famous last words.


	15. Chapter 8b

They were screwed. No, they were beyond screwed. The Jane Addams girls singing Cold As Ice and then doing Proud Mary in wheelchairs could have been written off as a coincidence – a very, very unlikely coincidence, but when the Haverbrook kids started singing Don't Stop Believing it became very clear that the other teams had somehow stolen their setlist and now the New Directions were falling apart at the seams.

They'd walked out in the middle of Haverbrook's set and gathered in the green room to wallow in self pity; Finn had seemingly entered a catatonic state and Artie kept ramming his wheelchair into the wall. Ms Pillsbury was off somewhere placing a frantic SOS call to Mr Schuester while Quinn had retreated to a corner to do the same thing to Ryan.

Taking advantage of the fact that the one captain they had left was distracted, the group started squabbling amongst themselves.

"You leaked the setlist," Kurt accused Brittany and Santana. "You don't want to be here. You're just Sue Sylvester's little moles."

"Look, we may still be Cheeerios but neither of us ever gave Sue the set list," Santana said, defensively.

"Well, I-I did but I didn't know what she was going to do with it," confessed Brittany.

A collective groan echoed throughout the room. How could she be so stupid?

Santana shook her head in disgust at them. "Okay, look, believe what you want but noone's forcing me to be here and, if you ever tell anyone this I'll deny it, but I like being in Glee Club, okay? It's the best part of my day. Besides, you morons are doing a good enough job of sabotaging yourselves without our help."

"What are you even talking about?" Mercedes questioned.

"I'm talking about you idiots giving the solo to Finn instead of Berry because you felt bad that his feelings got hurt, even though anyone with the common sense God gave a goose could tell that he sucked. Even if this hadn't of happened, we still would have lost if Lumps had sang that song."

Kurt, Puck and Mercedes all rolled their eyes, unwilling to accept any of the blame but deep down they knew that she was right.

"Ryan's on his way," Quinn announced, sliding her phone shut as she rejoined the group.

"Fat lot of good that's going to do," Puck sneered.

"Yeah, we're on in an hour, he'll never make it here in time," said Mike.

"Sorry I took so long. I had to get the sheet music out of my car."

Jaws dropped as Ryan Berry came nonchalantly striding into the green room, not even looking up from the papers he had in his hands.

He barely had time to prepare before he found himself with his arms full of blonde former cheerleader.

"You came to support us?" Quinn asked, looking up at him in awe. She couldn't believe that he was actually there. When they'd spoken on the phone he hadn't given her any indication that he wasn't at home in Lima.

"I came to support you."

Quinn let out an ecstatic and very out of character -she'd later blame the pregnancy hormones- squeal and pulled her boyfriend into a fierce kiss.

"Alright, alright, break it up you two," Santana said loudly when it didn't look like they were going to stop making out anytime soon. "We have work to do."

The loved up couple sheepishly pulled away from each other. Quinn buried her blushing face against Ryan's neck. Ryan needed significantly less time to compose himself, he drew himself up to his full height and began to address the group.

"Quite right, Santana," he said, getting straight down to business. "Now, Finn, I assume that you have no objections to giving up the ballad?"

Finn roused from his shell-shocked state enough to shake his head. "No."

Mr. Schue had been giving him private lessons every day after school to perfect his performance of Cold As Ice, there was no way that he was going to be able to get up there in front of all those people and sing something else on the fly and have it been anywhere near as good.

"Let me guess," Mercedes spoke up. "You're going to take it."

Though visibly annoyed, Ryan took the criticism rather gracefully. "Actually, Mercedes, there's nothing in the rules that state that the ballad has to be a solo. I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days and I realized that Mr. Schuester was right, everyone in this club is talented. Some far, _far_ more than others." He couldn't resist momentarily looking pointedly in Finn's direction.

"And I think it's only right that if we're going to win we should do it by showcasing that. So, I thought that the ballad should be a group number with Kurt, Artie, Tina, Mercedes and myself. The original members of New Directions."

It would have been easy to take the ballad himself, to come in and single handedly save the day but he knew that would do nothing to improve his standing within the group and as much as he hated to admit it, he did want to be liked and accepted by these people. He also wasn't so self-involved that he'd missed the subtle hints Quinn had been dropping about respect being a two-way street since Monday. If he wanted to be a strong leader then he needed to have the respect of his team and to get that he needed to show them the same in return.

"W-What song did y-you have in mind, Ryan?" Tina asked apprehensively.

"The Impossible Dream from Man of La Mancha," Ryan said, handing out the sheet music to them.

"It is fitting, I suppose," Artie said as he read the lyrics.

"My thoughts exactly, Artie." Ryan grinned, pleased that his input was not being met with the usual resistance. "I thought that we could divide the verses between us so we all get our time in the spotlight then we harmonize from the second chorus and have the others come in behind us at the end. Any objections?"

For once, there wasn't a single one.

"But that's just the ballad, we still need two more songs," Finn pointed out.

"We can close with Somebody to Love, it's a real crowd pleaser," Quinn was quick to suggest, stepping up beside her co-captain who smiled in approval at her.

"That's perfect," Ryan said, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Yeah, that and a can of soup will guarantee us third place. We still need one more song," Puck said with a hint of anger in his voice. He couldn't stand seeing those two together; not so much because Quinn had cheated on his best friend but because she had chosen to do so with Ryan Berry instead of him. He'd always had a sneaking suspicion that Quinn was a little loopy -that much sexual repression was not good for the mind or the soul- and that had just confirmed it for him.

"I've thought of that too," Ryan said, although he wasn't as confident in this song selection as he had been in the first.

"We're due on stage in approximately fifty minutes and we're going to need at least twenty minutes of that to get dressed and do hair and make up so, in the interest of saving time, I propose that we do a number that we've already mastered," he rambled, stalling.

"Which one?" Kurt asked.

"Keep Holding On," he answered, grimacing slightly. "I know that it might be slightly awkward for some of us." Now that was an understatement. "But we already know the lyrics and choreography."

Quinn squirmed uneasily as they waited for Finn to react. For a second, when he bowed his head and his face screwed up and his cheeks went red, it looked like he was going to throw another one of his temper tantrums but instead he surprised her by displaying a maturity that she wasn't aware that he possessed.

"Yeah, no, that makes sense. We should do that," he said, not looking anyone in the eye. The truth was that he hated the idea of singing that song, that song that had once held so much meaning to him, with _them_. It made him feel sick to his stomach. But he hated the idea of being the reason that they lost slightly more.

Ryan acknowledged Finn's sacrifice with a nod of his head. "Great, so we have a new setlist," he said. "Now Mike, Matt, Brittany, Santana, you're our best dancers." Not including himself, of course. "Do you guys think you could come up with some choreography for the new number?"

"It won't be anything fancy," Mike warned, uncertain if they'd be able to get anything together and then be able to teach it to the others in time.

"It doesn't have to be. Just as long as we look like we know what we're doing and aren't going to be running into each other up there. I'm sure that whatever you guys can come up with will be fine."

"Don't worry, we got this," Santana said, being the first of the four dancers to rise from their seat. She lead them to an empty corner of the room where they could spread out a little and get to work.

"Excellent." Ryan checked his watch and saw that there were only forty five minutes left until showtime. "There's not long to go now so I suggest that anyone who isn't featured in the ballad or working on the choreography go and get changed into their costumes."

Finn, Puck and Quinn were just about to do that when Ms. Pillsbury came bursting into the room, her phone still clutched in her hand. "Kids, I just got off the phone with Mr. Schuester," she announced, breathlessly. "He said that everyone should just listen to Finn and do what he says."

Everyone, even Finn, looked at her like she'd just spontaneously grown a second head.

"Well, you can tell Mr. Schuester that I already have the situation under control," Ryan said smoothly. "But thank him for the input."

Ms. Pillsbury very nearly collapsed in relief. "Good! Yes, that's wonderful initiative taking there, Ryan. I'll just go and give Will the good news. Carry on, children!"

They all shook their heads in disbelief as the guidance counsellor exited the room.

Then the shaggy haired bassist, that they'd all kind of forgotten was there, finally spoke up. "Um, so does this mean that I don't have to sing?"

#

Somehow, against all odds and probably several laws of nature, they'd managed to pull off the new set list without a hitch.

And now there was nothing left for them to do but wait anxiously for the results. They had tried to eavesdrop at the door of the room where the judges were deliberating but had no luck hearing what was going on inside, not even when Artie tried pressing a drinking glass to the wood and listening through that.

And so there they were on stage with the rest of the teams, waiting to hear the words that would determine their very future as a club.

Quinn squeezed Ryan's hand, she knew he was nervous, she could feel his pulse racing through the grip she had on his wrist. "You were amazing," she assured him. "We've got this."

He knew that she was right, he had been amazing, and the others hadn't been too bad either. But what if it wasn't enough? Had he made a mistake by choosing to not do the ballad as a solo?

They all held their breath as Rod Remington, WHON News Anchor and Ohio broadcasting legend, took to the stage to announce the results.

"The 2009 Sectionals runners-up are the kids from Haverbrook School for The Deaf," he said, flashing the deaf teenagers a thumbs up as Candace Dystra, who was the fifth runner up for Miss Ohio in 2006, handed them a small trophy. "Shine on you crazy diamonds."

"And now your 2009 Sectional Show Choir champions are...the New Directions from William McKinley High Schoool!"

It took a second for his words to register before pandemonium broke out. Quinn found herself being hoisted into the air by Ryan and soundly kissed before being set down firmly on her feet as Ryan turned to collect the trophy, that was almost as tall as Tina, from Candace Dystra.

The second that he released her, Quinn found herself engulfed by her ecstatic teammates, ending up as the meat in a Mercedes-Santana sandwich. She laughed when she saw that Puck had pulled Ryan into what looked like a hug slash headlock and was playfully messing up his hair. For once the New Directions looked like the family that they claimed to be.

Finally, it seemed like things were looking up, the only question was for how long?


	16. Chapter 9a

After their triumph at Sectionals, the months seemed to fly by. That's not to say that they were completely drama free, because God knows they weren't.

The biggest disruption came in the form of Jesse St James, Vocal Adrenaline's shining star, who had staged a brief attempt at infiltrating the New Directions to sow the seeds of discord. Luckily, he was unsuccessful and had only managed to bring the original twelve members closer together. Faced with choosing the lesser evil between the two male divas, the group -Finn included- whole heartedly threw their support behind Ryan and ultimately that had gone a long way in making them a stronger and more cohesive unit, as well as greatly improving Ryan's relations with the rest of the club.

The Glee club had placed their trust in Ryan to lead them to victory and there was nothing he wouldn't do to prove to them that that trust had not been misplaced, which was why they were currently sneaking into the auditorium at Carmel High to spy on their bitter rival's practice session.

"If we get caught are we going to go to jail," Quinn whispered, as they moved stealthily -well as stealthily as Quinn was capable of- through the empty seats on the balcony.

At thirty five weeks pregnant, Quinn's baby bump was less of a bump and more like a beach ball she had strapped to her midsection. With every day that passed, Quinn could feel Ryan and herself becoming more and more attached to the baby growing inside her. In fact the only thing that was developing more rapidly than their affection for their unborn child was Quinn's determination not to keep it. The more time she spent with Ryan, the more she came to believe that he was destined for great things. No, not just great. Amazing, incredible things. He was going to be a star and the last thing he needed was a baby getting in the way of that.

"No, well maybe, but probably not," Ryan whispered back as they hunkered down in the front row with an excellent view of the stage. "Stealing their ideas is not a crime."

"Damn," he swore under his breath, watching the red lace clad dancers go through their routine. "They're doing Gaga, she's the perfect fit for them. They must know that theatricality is the easiest way to beat us."

He shook his head in disgust at himself for not thinking of it first.

"They look amazing," Quinn commented. VA's costume budget must've been twenty times that of the New Directions and it showed. But it wasn't just their costumes that were impressive, it was the way they moved in perfect unison, like they were an army and Shelby Corcoran was their drill sergeant.

Apparently, amazing wasn't good enough for Shelby because she called them all to a halt.

"You guys aren't getting it. You're letting the costumes do all the work. Theatricality isn't about crazy outfits. It's not enough to douse yourself in gasoline, you have to set yourselves on fire to make it work!"

"God, she's good," Ryan muttered. It was easy to see why Vocal Adrenaline had won six consecutive National Show Choir Championships under Shelby's tutelage. Although Mr Schuester was admittedly improving in his handling of the club, Ryan could only imagine the heights the New Direction would soar to under Shelby Corcoran's leadership.

"Being theatrical doesn't mean you have to be a nuclear explosion. It can be like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion, express what's deep inside you. That's what theatricality is truly about."

Shelby could see that her students weren't getting it and shooed them off the stage so she could demonstrate. "Funny Girl, B Flat," she instructed the musicians.

"Barbra," Ryan whispered to Quinn, clearly impressed, as Shelby launched into the ballad. "Perfect song choice."

Quinn was entranced by Shelby's performance and she was sure Ryan would be too but when she managed to tear her eyes away from the woman onstage to look at him, she found he had his head tilted to one side and sporting what Quinn privately referred to as his inquisitive puppy look.

"What is it?" she leaned in and whispered against the shell of his ear.

"I'm not exactly sure." Ryan frowned, looking conflicted. "She just sounds so...familiar."

"Well, maybe it's just the song. I mean you have seen Funny Girl about a million times."

Ryan sighed heavily. Quinn's explanation was simple and logical and most likely correct but it still didn't feel that way. He had heard Shelby Corcoran's singing voice before, he was sure of it.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed. "It's just the song."

#

On the drive back to Lima, Ryan found that he just couldn't stop talking about Shelby Corcoran.

"And it's not even just her voice, which is magnificent. Although, of course, it's no match for Barbra's. It's her stage presence. I mean, the way that she just commanded that stage, it was...mesmerizing," he gushed excitedly.

"You know, if you keep talking like that, I might start thinking that you have a crush on this lady," Quinn teased.

"Don't be absurd, Quinn," Ryan scoffed at the ridiculousness of his girlfriend's suggestion. "I simply appreciate her as a fellow performer. Besides, she's old enough to be my mother."

Quinn smothered a giggle behind her hand, not having the heart to tell her boyfriend that age wasn't really a factor when it came to most teenage boys and their crushes.

"I just happen to think that she's wasting her talents coaching a show choir in Ohio, even one as prestigious as Vocal Adrenaline, when she could be on stage on Broadway," Ryan continued.

Quinn bit her lip to keep herself from pointing out that being talented didn't automatically mean being successful, and that perhaps Ms. Corcoran had tried to make it in New York and simply failed. Those were not the kind of ideas that she wanted to be planting in Ryan's head, especially not with her due date closing in fast.

"I think we should try and woo her at Regionals," Ryan announced.

"Woo her?" Quinn giggled. "Seriously, Ry?"

Ryan just rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's good-natured teasing. "Can you imagine what we could achieve if Ms. Corcoran were to run the New Directions? No disrespect to Mr. Schue but he's a wannabe. Worse than a has-been, he's a never was. But it's obvious that Ms. Corcoran gets it, you know, she's lived the life of an artist; performing is in her blood as much as it is in mine."

Quinn decided to indulge her boyfriend. "Okay, you're right, she's a better show choir director than Mr. Schue. So why would she ditch Vocal Adrenaline for us?"

Obviously, Ryan did not see this as a problem. "After we win at Regionals and she sees that I have more talent in my pinkie finger than that despicable Jesse St. James has in his entire body, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to jump off the sinking ship known as Vocal Adrenaline and take her rightful position guiding me-err, I mean, us to success."

Quinn smiled adoringly at him and reached across to ruffle his hair. "You're right, I'm sure she will. How could she possibly resist you?"

"Right?"

#

It was supposed to be a celebration, not a pity party. Regionals were fast approaching and they were supposed to be brainstorming ideas for their set list but the mood was so sombre that nobody felt much like talking. It was hard to get excited when their hopes of winning had just gone down the drain.

"No one wants any pizza?" Mr. Schue asked, trying to bring some life to the listless group of teens that were assembled in his living room. He failed and the stack of pizzas remained untouched. "All right, well let's get started. Thank you for coming to the first annual New Directions Set List Nominations Party."

"What's the point, Mr. Schue?" Artie wondered morosely. "Coach Sylvester's one of the judges. She's going to crush us."

"Artie, you don't know that."

"Yes, we do," said Santana, moving to sit beside Brittany. "She told us at Cheerios practice."

"Yeah," her blonde counterpart confirmed. "She said 'I'm going to crush Glee Club'."

"The whole freaking year, all that hard work for nothing," Puck lamented angrily.

Tina couldn't hold her feelings in any longer and started sobbing. "I'm sorry. I just really love you guys. Do you know how many facebook friends I had before I joined Glee Club? Two. My parents. Ryan was right, being part of something special makes you special. I just can't believe it's going to be over in a week."

"Wait, who says that it's going to be over?" He may have been reluctant about the idea at first but now Finn couldn't imagine life without Mr. Schue, who had become like a second father to him, and Glee.

"Please," said Mercedes. "Do you really think Puck and Santana are even going to acknowledge my existence once we're not in Glee Club together?"

"She has a point," Puck stated, matter of factly.

Quinn couldn't believe what she was hearing, that everyone was just so willing to give up now, after everything they'd already been through. Worst of all, their defeatist attitude had rubbed off on her normally optimistic and iron willed boyfriend, who was sitting next to her looking like a lost puppy and, as cute as it was, it wasn't exactly helping their situation.

Well then, as co-captain, it looked like it was going to fall on her shoulders to bring them out of this funk.

"I can't believe you guys. You do realize that you're playing right into Coach Sylvester's hands, don't you? She's playing mind games with us. This is exactly what she wants. She wants us to feel demoralized and defeated, she uses the same tactics on our opposition before Cheerios competitions."

"Q's not wrong," Santana confirmed.

"Yeah, but she wasn't judging those competitions," Artie said. "We all know that it doesn't matter how good we are, she'll still put us in last place."

"So what?"

With Ryan's help, Quinn managed to struggle to her feet and strike the familiar intimidating, and hopefully inspiring, pose of the head cheerleader she used to be; hands on hips, back rigid, her chin lifted defiantly. Of course, her hugely pregnant belly slightly softened the effect.

"Are you all forgetting that there are three other judges on that panel? All we have to do is impress them enough to put us either first or second on their ballots and we'll place, at the very least, and that's all we really need to do to keep the club going, isn't it, Mr. Schue?"

Will, surprised at being included, nodded. "Yeah, that's absolutely right."

Quinn smirked and turned her head to address the group again. "Look, if you guys think it's hopeless and you'd rather just roll over and let Coach Sylvester get away with screwing us then fine. We may as well just pull out of the competition and hand Vocal Adrenaline that trophy right now. But if you really love this club as much as you all claim to then fight for it; stop moping around and start suggesting songs that'll help us crush the competition as Regionals."

The group stared at her in a stunned silence, their mouths hanging open.

"God, I love that woman," Ryan whispered to himself, in awe.

Tentatively, Mike raised his hand. "Maybe we could do something by Jack Johnson," he meekly suggested.

"No way, we need to do something epic," Ryan immediately dismissed the idea. "Considering the success we had with them at Sectionals, I think we should do some showtunes."

Mercedes rolled her eyes at him. "Of course you do. Well _I_ think we should do something we haven't really done before...R'n'B!" She held up a finger before anyone could get a word in. "And, Berry, I swear if you say that this is Glee Club, not Crunk Club again, I will cut you."

"Screw that, if we really want to do something different we should do some rockabilly," Puck said, grabbing three slices of pizza folding them into a sandwich and taking an obscenely large bite.

Santana's nose wrinkled up in disgust at him. "What the hell is a rockabilly?"

And, just like that, they came to life, grabbing food and drinks and talking over each other. William Schuester watched them squabble good naturedly over songs with tears of pride stinging his eyes. All twelve of them had grown so much, the girl standing beside him most of all, and he felt so grateful and proud to have played a part in that.

"Quinn, thank you," he said quietly, sincerely.

Quinn just smiled. "No problem, Mr Schue, just doing my captainly duty," she said, before going to join her boyfriend, who's attention immediately shifted from the debate he was engaged in with Artie to her.

Although he'd had his misgivings about the couple in the beginning, Will had to admit that Quinn and Ryan really did seem to bring out the very best in each other. He just hoped it was going to be enough for them to win.

#

They had killed it. Not their chances of winning -hopefully- but their performance. Quinn had thought Mr. Schuester was insane when he suggested that she and Ryan open their set with a duet of Journey's 'Faithfully' but Ryan had managed to talk her around to the idea. He and Mr. Schue had even actually managed to work together to arrange the song so that Ryan was doing all of the heavy vocal lifting and the emotional resonance of having a heavily pregnant teen singing to the father of her child about how the road was no place to start a family seemed to have the intended effect on the audience. Quinn could've sworn that she saw tears in the eyes of the people sitting in the front row.

Of course, how their Journey medley managed to stack up against Vocal Adrenaline's admittedly epic version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody still remained to be seen as the judges were still locked away somewhere deliberating their decision.

Neither Quinn nor her bladder could take the anxious wait for the results and she had to excuse herself from the group to go to the bathroom.

She was just washing her hands when Shelby Corcoran exited a stall and joined her at the sinks.

Quinn smiled politely at her when their eyes met in the mirror and moved to dry her hands.

"How far along are you?"

"Almost thirty eight weeks," Quinn said, wiping her hands on a paper towel then tossing it into the trash.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"A girl," Quinn said, affectionately touching her swollen belly.

"A girl," Shelby repeated, smiling. She'd always wanted a baby girl. "Have you decided what you're going to do after she's born? Are you going to keep her?"

Quinn frowned. It wasn't unusual to get questions from strangers about the baby's sex or when it was due but that's usually where most people knew to draw the line. "No. We're going to put her up for adoption."

"That's probably for the best," Shelby said, nodding. "The two of you are so young and you both have such bright futures ahead of you. Have you considered a private adoption?" she asked, a little too eagerly for Quinn's liking.

"Okay, I don't mean to be rude, but that really isn't any of your business," Quinn snapped, her hackles raised.

Shelby was taken aback for a moment before becoming apologetic. "You're right, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just that I can't help being concerned about my grandchild's future."

Quinn's head whipped up so fast she was surprised that her neck didn't break. "Excuse me?" she hissed.

"I'm Ryan's biological mother. He's my son. You know, I always knew he'd be a performer, he used to kick like crazy whenever I sang to him," Shelby reminisced fondly, her hands unconsciously going to her own abdomen where her child had once resided.

Quinn could do nothing but gape at her in disbelief as Shelby went on to explain.

"When I was nineteen, I answered an ad in the paper. Nine months work here would make me enough money to live in New York for two years. His dads seemed like nice guys so I went for it." Shelby paused, tears gathering in her eyes. "I never got to hold him and I only saw him for a second when they were cleaning him off. It was through a bunch of nurses but he turned his little head and he looked at me. That's the image I've had of him in my head for all these years. I never forgot about him, not even for a second."

Quinn stared at the older woman. She believed her, maybe she shouldn't have, but every instinct she had was telling her that Shelby was telling her the truth. She just didn't know why. "I don't understand why you're telling me this and not him."

"Because I can't. You see it was part of the contract I had with his fathers, I can't contact him until he's eighteen. Besides, Ryan's not that little boy anymore. He's all grown up, with a baby of his own on the way, he doesn't need me," Shelby said, her voice thick with melancholy.

"I can't have any more children," she confessed. "I put it off for so long and then I had some health issues a few years back, I had to have surgery and that was that. Ryan doesn't need a mother anymore, Quinn, but that baby you're having does."

Quinn's back stiffened as she immediately went back on the defensive. "So that's what this is about, you want me to give you our baby?"

"You said that you're going to give her away anyway. Surely you can see that she'd be better off with a relative. A blood relative."

"Ryan's mother or not, you are still a stranger."

"I'm no more a stranger to you than any other person that would end up with her," Shelby reasoned. "Look, Quinn, seeing Ryan again has made me realize how much I've missed out on. This is my last year with Vocal Adrenaline, I'm tired of coaching Glee Club, I need some balance in my life. I want a house and a garden, I want a family. I'll be able to dedicate all my time to being a mother to that little girl and you and Ryan will be able to enjoy what's left of your childhood."

"I'm even willing to let you see her if you wanted, how many other prospective parents you're looking at can say the same?" Shelby offered, knowing from experience that Quinn would want to. She could see that she was already getting through to the girl her son had chosen to impregnate but thought it couldn't hurt to sweeten the pot that little bit more.

Quinn just clenched her jaw and averted her eyes. None. Because there were no other prospective parents.

Ryan had brought it up more than a few times now but thankfully she'd always managed to distract him away from the topic. It wasn't like she hadn't tried to look but it was hard with Ryan always around. She'd managed to do some research but all the legitimate adoption agencies would want to meet with them and there was all this paperwork they'd need to fill out. How was she supposed to explain to Ryan that when she told him that she'd already had everything taken care, she meant that she'd arranged what was probably an illegal private adoption with Mr. Schuester's insane wife?

"I don't mean to pressure you about this, I know what a big decision it is. Could you just take some time to really think about it and then let me know?"

The look on Shelby's face was such a pathetic combination of hopeful and desperate that Quinn had to take pity on her and accept the business card she offered.

"I will."

"What's he like?" Shelby couldn't stop herself from asking.

Before Quinn could respond, there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Quinn?" It was Ryan.

Shelby looked at Quinn, silently pleading with her not to say anything. Quinn just nodded and tucked the card she'd been given away into her cleavage, just as the door opened and Ryan stepped inside. "Hey, are you okay? You've been gone a while, I was starting to worry."

"I'm fine," Quinn said, curling into him the best she could as his arms automatically went around her. "Sorry, we just got to talking and must've lost track of time."

Ryan had been so focused on Quinn that he hadn't even noticed that there was somebody else in the room. "Miss Corcoran?"

Quinn tightened her grip on her boyfriend and watched as mother and son met for the first time, even if only one of them knew it.

Shelby managed to smile at him. "Ryan Berry."

"Y-you know who I am?" Ryan stammered.

"Of course I do," Shelby chuckled at the starstruck expression on his face. "I make it a point to get to know my competition. You're extraordinarily talented, your parents must be very proud of you." _ I'm so very proud of you._

"They are."

"Good. That's...good. Anyway, I should be getting back, the results should be in any time now," Shelby said, excusing herself before the tears she could feel developing had a chance to fall.

"I hope there'll be no hard feelings when we beat you."

Shelby paused and shook her head, smiling. Her son certainly wasn't lacking in confidence.

"I admire your confidence, and I have to admit that you guys were good, but I just don't think this is your year, kid. Maybe next time." She tentatively reached out and allowed herself the first physical contact she'd had with her son since the day he was born, a fleetingly touch to his shoulder as she passed by on her way out.

"So what were you two talking about?" Ryan asked Quinn once Shelby had exited the bathroom.

"Oh, we were just trading pregnancy war stories," she lied.

"Oh." He frowned. "I wasn't aware that Ms. Corcoran had any children."

"Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are."

Now wasn't that just the understatement of the century.

#

They'd lost. They hadn't even placed. Glee club was over. That should have been what Quinn was thinking about as they lay in bed that night but instead she couldn't get Shelby Corcoran and her oh so tempting offer out of her mind.

"Hey, Ry?"

There was a soft grunt of acknowledgement from behind her and his arm tightened around her waist, pressing his palm against her swollen belly. She had to smile when she felt the baby kick back against it.

"Do you ever think about your mom?"

He was quiet for a long moment, Quinn almost thought he'd fallen asleep, before speaking. "Um, not so much anymore," he answered honestly. "But I did when I was little."

"Do you miss her?"

She felt Ryan shifting behind her as he propped himself up on his elbow and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Well, I've never met her."

_Yes, you have,_ Quinn thought sadly.

"And you can't really miss what you've never had. If anything, I guess I missed the idea of her? Like on my birthday or when we all used to have to make Mother's Day cards at school or when I'd see the other kids getting picked up by their moms at the end of the day, I used to get upset that I didn't have one. I don't really know if that's the same as _missing_ her, though."

Quinn sighed and snuggled back against him. She wondered if someday their daughter would be having a conversation like this with her partner or if she'd ever even know that she was adopted.

"Have you ever thought about what it would be like to meet her?"

"Well, yeah. Of course I always imagined that it would all be very dramatic, like our eyes would meet across a crowded room and we'd just somehow know and then run towards each other in slow motion." He laughed at himself. "But that's just a fantasy. In reality, I know that I could've already passed by her in the street a hundred times without even knowing."

"Do you love her?"

Ryan was quiet again, obviously putting a lot of thought into his answer. "I'm...I'm grateful for her," he said carefully. "I'm grateful to her for bringing me into this world and giving me the chance to be raised by two amazing parents."

"But you don't love her."

"No, I don't think I do," he admitted, settling back down against the mattress and nuzzling his face against the back of her neck. "I'm sorry, I know that's probably not the answer that you wanted to hear."

"It's okay, you're just being honest." She slid her hand down his arm to lace their fingers together. "She loves you though."

"You think so?" Ryan sounded surprised.

"Of course she does," Quinn answered, remembering the way Shelby spoke about him, with such regret and longing, and the pained look on her face when she told Quinn of how Ryan didn't need a mother anymore. "How could she not? You're the most loveable person I know."


	17. Chapter 9b

It was officially spring break and Quinn was officially two days past her due date. And while there may have been a time when she'd idly wished that nothing had to change and that she could just stay pregnant and in limbo forever, that time had passed and now all she wanted to do was to get this baby out of her.

She hadn't been able to see her feet in just under three months, her back and feet and stomach ached constantly from the strain of carrying around a tiny person inside her, she had to pee practically every five minutes, doing even the simplest tasks left her feeling exhausted and she was as big as a whale. Simply put, she felt disgusting. Sometimes she felt so repulsive that she didn't even want Ryan look at her.

Dr. Wu had issued them an ultimatum, if the baby didn't come naturally within the next two days past then they'd be forced to chemically induce the labor. Something that nobody involved wanted. So as soon as they'd gotten home from the doctor's office, Ryan was on the internet searching for ways to naturally induce labor.

Google turned up plenty of suggestions like taking long walks or eating spicy food. But the most recommended method by far was to have sex; not only could orgasms jump start the birthing process but semen softens the cervix which could make labor easier and less painful.

Eating an extra hot curry vs. having Ryan fuck her brains out? It was a no-brainer for Quinn.

Of course, her being a giant, easily exhausted, pregnant whale rather limited their options when it came to positions to do so in, which was why she was currently laying on her side with Ryan leisurely thrusting into her from behind, which was all very lovely and pleasurable but it really wasn't going to get the job done.

"Honey," Quinn panted, reaching back and gripping the back of Ryan's neck. "You know that I love it when you make love to me, but right now I just really need to you to _fuck_ this baby out of me. Can you do that?"

She knew that once Ryan Berry was set a goal, he would not stop until he accomplished it.

She grunted in pleasure as he suddenly picked up the pace.

"I think I can manage it."

#

Three hours and a total of five orgasms later and still nothing. Quinn felt Ryan collapse against the pillows behind her and his arm tighten around her waist as his deflating cock slipped out of her.

"Ry?"

"Jus' give me a minute," he managed to mumble, his voice muffled by the pillow he didn't have the strength to lift his face from. "Maybe five."

Quinn winced in sympathy, realizing that she had worked him to the brink of exhaustion and that she wasn't far behind him. "It's okay, Ry, go to sleep. We both need to rest for a while."

Her boyfriend's reply was an unintelligible garble, indicating that he was already more than half-asleep anyway.

Quinn let herself relax into his embrace, wiggling around until she was finally comfortable, or rather as comfortable as it was possible for her to get given her current condition. Her eyelids had grown heavy and she was just on the verge of drifting off when she was overcome with the sudden, overwhelming and now all too familiar need to pee.

_Damn it all to Hell._

She tried to disentangle herself from her boyfriend's arms but they instinctively tightened around her.

"Stay."

"I just have to go to the bathroom," she assured him. "I'll be right back."

With a reluctant groan, Ryan released her and Quinn managed to struggle up off the bed and waddle off to the bathroom to answer the call of nature.

#

She was washing her hands in the sink when her water broke.

It wasn't like what happened in movies or tv shows, where all of a sudden it came gushing out all over the floor between a pregnant woman's legs. It actually started rather mildly with a trickle of slimy fluid oozing it's way down her inner thigh. It was only after a brief second of confusion that Quinn realized that oh, her waters were breaking.

Then, as if that realization had opened the metaphorical floodgate, amniotic fluid began gushing down her legs to splash against the tiled -Thank God! Quinn couldn't imagine the embarrassment she'd be feeling if she'd inadvertently ruined the Berry's carpet- floor.

This was it. Their baby was coming, there was no stopping it now.

But Quinn wasn't feeling any of the panic she had been expecting, instead there was a strange sense of calm that washed over her instead. She was ready, they were ready for this.

Ryan being Ryan, he had insisted on being completely prepared and they'd had a bag packed full of everything they needed take to the hospital -and Shelby Corcoran's business card burning a hole in the side pocket- that had taken up permanent residence in the trunk of Ryan's car since three weeks before Quinn's actual due date. And the birthing and ante-natal classes that Quinn had initially been reluctant about but Ryan had insisted that they attend had prepared her well for this moment.

Thanks to those classes, she knew that there was no reason to make a mad dash to the hospital the minute her waters broke like she probably would have done otherwise. Now she knew better. She knew that labor, especially for first time mothers, could last for hours and hours -the midwife running the class had described her own experience of being in labor for a whopping forty six hours with her first child, something that Quinn was absolutely not hoping to experience for herself.- and that the best thing to do was to relax at home and wait until her contractions were around seven minutes apart before heading to the hospital.

_Right._ Quinn thought to herself. _First things first._ She reeked of sex, her hair was all matted with sweat and her lower half was covered in disgusting baby juice. It was definitely time for a shower.

#

Quinn was in the middle of washing her hair when her next contraction hit -eighteen minutes after the first, she'd timed- it was a little more intense than the last but still not that bad, she'd had period cramps that hurt worse. She knew that they were just going to get worse so she was thankful that they were starting out so mildly.

One of the second time mothers in their birthing class had described the pain of her first contraction as "It felt like someone had punched their hand up my vagina and was trying to rip my insides out" and then went on to say that they kept getting worse from there.

Once she was dressed in one of her least favorite elastic waisted maternity skirts and one of Ryan's button up shirts that she liked to sleep in and had put her hair up into a perfect high pony to keep it from getting in her face later, she decided it was time to wake Ryan up from his nap.

"Ry," she cooed, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking her hand through his hair. "Honey, wake up."

"Do you want to go again?" he slurred, barely stirring.

"No need."

This time Ryan squinted up at her. "Wha?"

Quinn couldn't help but giggle at his adorably dazed and confused expression. He was so cute. If the baby took even a fraction after her father then she would be too adorable for words. Quinn guessed they would be finding that out soon enough. Wow. They were really having a baby. "It worked. The baby's coming."

Ryan blinked owlishly up at her, a proud smile spreading across his face as his sleepy brain processed the news. "I did it?"

"Yeah," Quinn chuckled. "You did it, babe."

Ryan's smile abruptly dropped as he realized what that meant. He snapped from half-asleep to fully awake in the space of half a second as adrenaline flooded his body. "You're having the baby!" he exclaimed, bolting upright. "Have your waters broken? Do you think we need to go to the hospital now? I think we should go to the hospital-"

Quinn quickly covered his mouth with her hand to put a stop to his panicked ramblings. She was the one who was going to be pushing something roughly the size of a small watermelon out of her vagina, if anyone was going to panic it was her and she wasn't so he didn't get to either. It made sense in her crazy pregnant lady head.

"Shhh. Yes, my waters have broken but my contractions are still nearly twenty minutes apart so there's no need to go to the hospital yet," she said in a calm voice. "But I really need to you not to freak out, okay? Because if you freak out then I'll start freaking out and I need to not do that. So can you do that for me?"

Ryan mutely nodded until Quinn removed her hand from his mouth. "I can do that."

"Good. Now you should probably put some clothes on."

#

They were on the landing at the top of the stairs when Quinn's next contraction hit. She had the bannister in a white-knuckled grip as Ryan hovered nervously next to her, ready to jump into action and catch her if there was even the slightest indication that she was about to fall.

"Do you want me to carry you down?" he offered, once the pain had passed.

Quinn smiled softly at his sweetness. "Honey, please don't take this as a slight against your physical prowess," she said, pressing her palm against his strong chest. "But God no."

Thankfully, Ryan didn't take any offence and instead let her grip his hands tightly as they negotiated their way down the stairs.

"Are you going to call your dads?" Quinn asked as he got her settled on the couch.

Ryan frowned indecisively as he consulted the clock hanging on the wall and found it to be well past one in the morning. "No, I don't want to wake them up and have them driving back here while sleep deprived. Especially when we have no idea how long this is going to take," he decided. "I'll text them before we leave for the hospital. What about you...do you want to inform your parents?"

Quinn didn't even have to think about it. "No. I don't want them to know." The last thing she needed to worry about was her parents showing up and making a scene.

"Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind." He bent down of the tv and popped a dvd in; _The Princess Bride_, he knew it was one of Quinn's all time favorites.

"I'll go and get you some ice chips to suck on," he said, kissing the top of Quinn's head on his way past to the kitchen.

Quinn sighed deeply as she massaged her swollen belly. She was going to miss this so much but losing it was all but inevitable now.

#

They were about three quarters of the way through _The Princess Bride_ when Quinn couldn't take sitting still anymore and, with some assistance from Ryan, got up and started pacing the room.

As the contractions became more frequent, they also increased in strength and now Quinn was coming to truly understand what those mothers from their birthing class were talking about.

She braced her hands against the sideboard as yet another contraction hit, the urge to bare down becoming more apparent. Ryan had dutifully taken up position behind her and began massaging her tremendously sore lower back. But if both his hands were on her back, then what was that pressing into her behind?

"Ryan!" she shrieked, whipping her head around to glare at him. "Oh my God, do you seriously have a hard on right now?"

He shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry! It's just that usually when we're in this position and you're moaning like that we're having intercourse."

"What is wrong with you?" Here she was preparing to push his baby out of her vagina and he was aroused? Unbelievable.

"Nothing, I'm a teenage boy with an active sex drive. Getting erections at inappropriate times is completely normal."

Quinn let out a growl and reached back, grabbing his wrist and bringing it forward so she could check his watch. Her contractions were barley even seven minutes apart now. "Can you at least drive like that?"

He leaned over her to grab his keys from the bowl in front of them. "Hospital time?"

"I think so," Quinn confirmed with a nod.

Ryan took a moment, squeezing his eyes shut and forcing himself to imagine the most unsexy things he could think of; dead puppies, dead kittens, Barbra's voice being irreparably damaged after a botched throat operation...Yep, that did it. "Okay, I'm good to go."

He took her hand, intending to lead her out only to find himself being pulled back to her.

"I love you," Quinn forcefully declared, knowing that it may be the last time she'd ever get to say that to him and have the sentiments returned.

"I love you too," Ryan responded easily, gathering her into his arms and kissing her forehead. "Everything's going to be okay, Quinn, it's all going to work out for the best. I promise."

She wished she could believe him.

#

When they arrived at the hospital and checked in, Quinn was quickly ushered into a wheelchair by a nurse despite her vehement protests. She was pregnant, not an invalid, and was perfectly capable of walking by herself, thank you very much.

While Ryan had to stay behind at the reception desk to fill out some paperwork, the nurse pushed Quinn's wheelchair down the hall towards the birthing suite. As they wheeled along the woman had put a comforting hand on Quinn's shoulder and asked her if she'd like her to contact her family so they could be there for her. Quinn had looked back over her shoulder at Ryan and simply replied that they already were.

Even though Quinn would go on to be in labor for another five hours, everything seemed to happen incredibly quickly from that point on. And before she knew it, Ryan was cutting an umbilical cord and a tiny, slimy, squirming baby girl was being placed on her chest for her to hold for what felt like only a few seconds before she was whisked away again to be checked by a doctor. Those few seconds were the happiest of her young life so far.

By the time the whole ordeal was over, Quinn was so drained that she couldn't keep her eyes open for another second and drifted off into an exhausted slumber.

#

Quinn let out a quiet, sleepy groan as she emerged from her deep sleep. For the first few seconds after waking up, it was like the events of the last few hours had all been a dream. Then the itchiness of the pillowcase and dull ache of her lower body and the feeling of emptiness in her belly all started to register.

She forced herself to keep her eyes closed, as if to delay her inevitable return to the real world for just a little bit longer.

She could hear Ryan's voice as he spoke in hushed tones. She assumed that he was speaking on the phone to his parents until she heard the unmistakable gurgles of a newly born infant.

Quinn's eyes snapped open and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Ryan -rumpled and disheveled, unshaven and hair sticking up in several different directions- illuminated by the morning sunlight that was streaming in through the window beside him, carefully cradling a bundle that was unmistakably their newborn daughter in his arms.

As if sensing her eyes on him, Ryan managed to peel his eyes away from his little girl to focus on her mother. "Hey," he said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," Quinn replied automatically. Her hands found her way to her now achingly empty belly. She was already acutely feeling the loss of their child even while the baby was still in the same room.

She sighed and gave a more honest answer. "Tired. Sore. But okay. How long have I been asleep?"

"A few hours. My dads got here a little while ago. They're downstairs getting breakfast in the cafeteria," Ryan informed her, moving to stand beside the bed.

Quinn forced herself to keep her eyes on his face. She wouldn't look at the wriggling bundle in his arms. She couldn't.

"Hey, look what we made," he said with the proudest smile on his face as he presented their daughter to her.

As soon as she laid her eyes on their child, Quinn's eyes started welling up with tears, she never wanted to look away again. Their baby was perfect.

Curious little blue eyes stared back up at Quinn, seemingly as in awe of her mother just as much as her mother was in awe of her.

From what Quinn could see, their little girl was a perfect combination of the both of them; she had Ryan's lips and chin and the shape of his eyes and had also inherited Quinn's nose and elfin ears. Her head was topped off with a shock of sandy blonde hair that would surely darken with age.

"She's perfect," Quinn uttered in a broken whisper.

"She is," Ryan agreed, completely smitten with the tiny being he held in his arms. "Would you like to hold her?"

"I shouldn't." Seeing her was hard enough but Quinn knew that once she held their baby in her arms, she'd never be able to let her go again.

"You should," Ryan insisted, leaning over and carefully placing the baby against her chest.

She reacted on pure instinct, her arms automatically closing protectively around the baby. The weight of her daughter in her arms felt so right, like she belonged there. How was she supposed to ever give that up?

Quinn didn't know how long she'd spent gazing adoringly at her daughter. She let out a muffled sob when Ryan reached out to stroke the back of his fingers across the little girl's softer than soft cheek and a tiny hand shot up to grip one of his fingers so tightly that his skin turned white under the pressure.

"I'm keeping her."

Quinn's blood ran cold at her boyfriend's surprise announcement. "What?"

"I'm keeping her. I know that you already have everything arranged with the adoption and everything so I'll sign whatever I need to sign, talk to whoever I need to talk to but I'm not giving her up."

It wasn't a spur of the moment decision, it was something he'd been thinking about for months and had been actively planning for for weeks now. It'd taken some convincing but he'd managed to get both his parents on board with the idea and had their full support. But Quinn had always reacted so badly whenever he tried to talk about the adoption and they'd end up fighting whenever he brought it up, so he'd made the decision to keep her out of the loop to avoid upsetting her while she was in such a delicate condition.

"Ryan, you can't. You're not thinking clearly. I know that right now you want to keep her, I get it, I feel it too-"

"So you want to keep her too."

Quinn flinched, mentally cursing herself for letting that slip out. "It doesn't matter what I want," she said lowly, refusing to look him in the eye.

Ryan frowned in confusion. "What? Quinn, of course it matters. You know, you're always talking about me and my dreams but you never talk about your own. What about you, Quinn, what do you want?"

What did Quinn want? She wanted a real family, she wanted to be loved unconditionally, she wanted Ryan and their daughter. Everything she'd ever wanted was right there in that hospital room, being offered to her on a silver platter. She'd spent the last nine months preparing herself to give it all up so that Ryan could have everything that _he's_ ever dreamed of and now he was telling her it was all for nothing.

"I don't know, Ryan," she lied. "I'm not like you, I don't have any grand plans for my future. You're the one with the most to lose here."

Ryan scoffed and shook his head as he sat down on the bed next to her, putting his arm -the one whose finger wasn't currently being held hostage by his daughter- around her shoulders. "But that's just it, Quinn, I'm not going to lose anything."

He hung his head and sighed heavily. "Before you, I was alone. I didn't have any friends, nobody liked me, all I had to get me through every day were the thoughts of my future; dreams of performing on Broadway and winning every award there is, but even in those dreams I was still alone because that was all I knew. Quinn, I still have all those plans and dreams, the only thing that's changed is that they're so much better because I'm not alone in them anymore. She's there and so are you.

And I know that if we give her away now, it won't matter roles I get or awards I win, I'll never be able to be truly happy because no matter where I am or what I'll be doing, I'll always be thinking about our daughter; wondering where she is, what she's like, if she's happy, if she's more talented than I am..."

Quinn couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Despite what you may think she's not a burden to me, Quinn," he continued. " She's a gift and I know that I'm not going to achieve my all goals in spite of her but because of her."

"We don't know anything about raising a baby."

Ryan allowed himself to smile, Quinn was coming around to the idea, he could feel it. "Neither do the millions of other first time parents who are doing this every day. My dads didn't have a clue about raising children and look how well I turned out! You know that I've been doing a lot of research and the conclusion I have come to is that being a parent isn't something that can be taught, it can only be learned from experience."

"We're completely unprepared for this, we don't have a nursery ready-"

"Newborns are surprisingly low maintenance. I can go shopping this afternoon for a car capsule, clothes and diapers. We can rent a bassinet from the hospital for as long as we need it."

He was making it all sound so easy. Like they weren't just sixteen and still in high school.

"What about school, Ryan?"

"I've talked to my dads about that and they're going to take sometime of work so they can take care of her during the day so we can keep going to school. Our education won't be affected in any way."

"We haven't even thought about what to name her," she weakly pointed out. Her resistance to the idea had eroded with every word that had come out of Ryan's mouth.

Ryan just smirked and produced a book that he'd just plucked off the table behind him. '1001 Baby Names' "I had my dad's pick it up from the hospital gift shop."

"You've thought of everything, huh?" She looked from him down to the baby that had fallen asleep in her arms, still gripping onto her father's finger for dear life. She was so perfect, so innocent and untouched by all the bad in the world. But all adults had started out that way, hadn't they? Even the worst ones were innocent little babies, once upon a time, before society and the world and their _parents_ damaged them beyond repair.

"What if we screw her up, Ry? I don't want her to end up hating us."

Ryan pulled her close and pressed his lips against the top of her head. "She won't. I'm not saying that this is going to be easy or that we won't make mistakes because we will, but we're not going to be in this alone. Between us, my dads and our friends, we are going to make sure that she has the happiest childhood; that she will always feel safe and loved and accepted, no matter what-"

"So we'll be like the total opposite of my parents then?" Quinn remarked bitterly, thinking about how she had never felt any of those things growing up.

Ryan squeezed her tighter. "Pretty much."

Quinn looked up at him, letting herself believe for the first time that maybe this really was going to work out for the best. "Do you really think we can do this?" she whispered, needing that last extra bit of reassurance.

"I do, Quinn, I really do," he answered earnestly.

She looked down at their little girl and fell even more in love with her at the sight of her smacking her lips together in her sleep.

"I have no idea how this is going to turn out," she confessed. "All I know is...is that I want to try."

Try and hope like Hell they weren't making the biggest mistake of both their lives.


End file.
